Rantsofamadman

Feelin...Eh.

2011-02-07T12:15:00.000-06:00

Well..Howdy. Nah. ya have'nt seen me around. Nah. ya have'nt heard any, nasty musings from me. Nah. I have'nt forgotten bout' cha'.

To be blunt...I've been busy engaging in life, rather than sittin' back and pickin' it apart. Don't get me wrong, there's still some tedious crap out there, that, wears on the nerves. I just chose to wait a while, until my brain cells can articulate it.

Until then....comb back through, my old bizarre rants. They still will have you, in a place of uttter entertainment and distain.

i'll. be. back.

P.S.....you'll be seein' my performance schedule, here from time to time.

I whore myself out, So you don't have to.

I'm awake now...

2011-01-04T00:00:00.002-06:00

All I wanted to do, was to let you Phuckaz continue with, your sweet, tasty goodness, I call Coonery. But nooooo...Now it's gettin' to be dis-phuckin'-gusting.

Welllp... I'm awake now. I need to "Air Out". Soooo. here's nothin'.

- Did I miss somethin', or when did SOME (black folks in particular), get soooo tech savvy?!? Ya can't get some of us to pick up a book, learn a decent trade or even continue educating ourselves on, our present trade. But all tha hell of a sudden...we gotta have tha newest phone/computer/Whatever tha hell Steve Jobs is whoring out at the time, device. And for what?!? To text/e-mail/ IM a Muh Phucka you don't want to actually talk to! Some of us were better off, writin' wit feces on cave walls. At least you had to put thought into, what you were writin', and that era's technology was simple.

- Soooo...I guess it's OK to air out, your nasty azz laundry to errryone huh? When did we all become soooo damn emotional (Present company In-Friggin-Cluded) I mean...hell...yeah I put some sh!t out there, but damn I'm ventin', as opposed to those that are lookin' for, Captain Save A Hoe (Was'nt sure bout the HOE or HO) When did it become trendy to NOT solve, ya own sh!t?!? Ususally when I take to typin', I'm actually workin' through my demons, not tryin' to find "A new Mommy". By tha way... if you have some hostility towards an individual, TAKE IT TO THEM!!! not on social networkin' crap. Be human about your sh!t.

- If you're over 40 and have'nt seen tha inside of a gym/health food store/doctor's office in years...maybe you should'nt engage in "Erotic Stills", on said, social networkin' sites. I've come to grips wit my body. On tha outside world, I may not look like much, BUT if I ever went to jail...I'd be Kelly Rowland.

- Now this is just an observation. (TeeHee) To those on Facebook (Mine Especially) that engage in "Ya Momma" jokes/Any other funny tidbits, SOME of you have a natural comedic timing. You FEW people are the reason, I stay on my grind, in this business. AS FOR THA REST...there's a reason that some of you, in high school, always looked like you had downs syndrome. You were'nt that bright then, sure as hell aint that bright now. There's a reason I do this, like I do. 1. No effin' fear of man or beast. 2. Refer to number 1.

Ahhh....That's just a snack. wait til tha buffet kicks in. Smooches.

http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/

http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/

www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

Ramblings: (Me and my GuhFriend)

2010-11-09T00:00:00.002-06:00

Yeahh...dat's tha way I wanted to spell "Girlfriend". (Funny how Phuckas are quick to correct tha english language when written, but need spellcheck when textin')

I'm a lil high riiight now. My Love and I, have taken are relationship, to tha next level. ya see..I never mentioned her in any of my posts, interviews, etc, due to the fact that, my baby likes the quiet life. Oh sure, sometimes she comes to work wit me, but she loves, to play tha background.

When I'm wit her, I consume her, as much as she consumes me. I embrace her flavor, as much as she embraces my soul. I admit when I see her, a warm glow touches my essence. She looks at me, as if, to look through me. To see my travels, my thoughts, my soul, my being. Maybe Love is to mild a term for what she does to me, for me, with me.

When she's around, tha world stands still. There's no other beings present, when she's around. My life for every second she's around, has a new breath, new meanin' new focus. As if i'm learnin' to breathe again, every breath counts. Love is word with many definitions, my feelings for her right now, Radiates each and every one of them.

I raise my glass, my life, my being, to toast to her now. For without her name on my lips, my life, my soul, my essence, is mute. Here's to you my lovely....

NYQUIL.

My Heroes tribute/ Shameless azz promo.

2010-10-18T00:00:00.002-05:00

This is why I do, what I do.

Come see "Sugar Daddy". Go to http://www.tsquaredproductionschicago.com/ for tickets and details. Come see about me...

Mr. "Fingerbang ya favorite actress" is back.

2010-09-15T00:00:00.004-05:00

Catchy title huh? If only, it were true. (Well...some of you that went to high school wit me, know there are some execptions)

Soooo...how are ya? (Good, glad to hear it) I'm sure by tha time you read this, you reeally could give "Tommy two-Sh!ts" about what I've been into. But, there are those that do read my stuff, on tha regular.(What I mean by regular, I mean when they use the bathroom. I.E. A sloppy number 2)

Wit that said, I'll give ya tha highlights, as well as lil musings, that made me chuckle..I.E. increase my meds. (NOTE...yes i'm using "I.E." a lot. Google it, N-word)

Let's bust this pinata shall we?

- Tha acting gigs are still goin' strong. What i've come to see though, is that I have a HIGH tolerance for bullsh!t. I don't need folks to tell me, how good they are at sh!t, just do it. "Industry"folks can be as close to some horror film characters, than anybody. *Cue "Drake's song Over*. I have more respect for those who just do it, as opposed to those Muh Phuckaz, that say it, with no execution. *Sigh* Phuckin' posers. My motto is "I can show ya..better than I can tell ya". (Actually my Granny Po-Po gave me that nugget)

- Is it just me, or do some people lack tha basic common sense, that God gave a common house Cat?!?

- Not errrybody that says, they know God, does. Keep in mind, YOU have tha key to you OWN salvation. It's like when tha Gas company or Com-Ed visit your home. You can tell they're a true representive, by their CREDENTIALS. Examine your surroundings closer, and you'll find like minds. (I came up wit that while smellin' my finger. SIDENOTE: SHE uses Mango peach, for her "Hard to reach" places)

- I recently hit tha big 4-friggin'-0.A swirl of thoughts come wit dat sh!t. Happy to have made it this far, and hope to go further. Then..tha "Look back at ya life" phase creeps in. Sheeet...i've been a sexist, egotistcal, lyin', hypocritical, bigot, for a looong time now. At one point, in 2009, I thought about "Not bein' around" anymore. (I.E. "Kurt Cobain/Heath Ledger-ing myself)
But, tha man wit tha flowing robe and gorgeous long hair *Not Prince..you (Insert your favorite ethnic slur here)* saw different, and kept me here. He also made this weird, uncanny, life possible, and for that I thank him.

- I have a job that I hang out wit borderline Bi-polar people, I become someone else, at every turn, and there's a sliiight chance, that I will get groped or do some molestin' and no one gets pissed or in trouble for it. judgin' by tha "Mango" scent on my finger....Acting is AWESOME. You could'nt do this sh!t workin' at Walmart/Sears/DMV/Stop and Shop/your borin' azz office.

- Did I ever tell ya , I'm not right in tha head?!?

-Fellas have ya ever shaved your "One Eyed Earl" and it looks like one of those "Groucho Marx" Halloween masks..*Blank Stare* Eh...me either.

- Ladies...If you're takin' pics of your Va-Jay-Jay, be careful. Make it look "Happy" before ya snap that pic. Or else, it'll look like a sad little old man. #JustMyThoughts

Now if you'll excuse me, I got lines to learn, gigs to get, and Pap Smears to perform.

FIND ME: www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3

mayhemm09@gmail.com Ohh.. http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/

http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/

My Preshow haze.

2010-08-27T00:00:00.002-05:00

http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/

My preshow haze. Click on.

LUE CHEFER

2010-08-13T14:16:00.000-05:00

www.emont.net/e3productions

Yess...I do Exist.

2010-08-11T00:00:00.002-05:00

I've gone by many names, and have taken many shapes. And in many cases, i've affected tha souls of many, with just words alone.

Come see for yourself. Aug 27th and 28th.
Go to www.emont.net/e3productions For Details. Come see what form i'll take in public, this time.

Weekend's Gone already?

2010-08-09T14:23:00.002-05:00

*Reaches over to press "Pause" on DVD remote.* After watchin' ohhh so much of the imfamous Montana Fishburne AKA "Chippy D" footage, one has to stop, to come up for air. (She reminds me of that one "Slow" witted girl, that would do ANYTHING for Chips Ahoy cookies, in my neighborhood.)

*Reaches over for ball gag. Inserts ball gag in mouth and ties it on.* Ahhhh...Let's see...what we can phuck wit today.

I know I've been away (Like you phuckas noticed) but...let me bring ya up to speed wit my whereabouts.

Aug 7th 2010.

On this date, I had tha distinct pleasure of hostin'/emceeing (I never could figure out tha difference) an event called PhoenixFest. It's held in the town of Phoenix Il. (Yeahh...yeahh...there's a Phoenix Il. let me finish...damn) The said event, was a celebration of community, family and togetherness.

It's one of those festivals that brings out, tha young and tha old, in a fellowship, that breaks down tha generation gaps with food , music and good times. Tha city of Phoenix should be commended, for havin' such a peaceful and spectacular celebration of life.

*Bites down on ball gag* As for tha entertainment portion of tha festival...(Wait for it...Wait for it...) It was actually pretty decent. I have some notable mentions to chose from, if i may (It's my damn blog..so I shall...)

I give credit where credit is due, when it comes to Hip Hop, tha festival got it right this year (Yeahh..I host it every year. I'm still waiting to host tha Adult Video Awards...sigh) With groups like BXC , Mak Legend, and Eddie T (Yeahh... a tad unknown, but, be on tha look out for em') Tha entertainment level started wit promise.

But tha moment came when, one of tha most talented, dedicated and overlooked producers in tha game, took to tha stage. When Harvy Allbangers bought wit him his team, consisting of tha duo Tha Illiterits and Code FI (Where in tha hell do these names surface from?!?...sheeeet) Tha stage erupted in a sonic boom, that could only be delivered by Mr. Harvy Alll-phuckin'-bangers (If you don't know him, google him dammit..)

But then we had a "Showtime at tha Apollo" moment happen, when this lil Niglet (Feel free to insert your own ethnic slur) called Showtime took to tha stage.

NOTE TO ALL HIP HOP ARTISTS: If you're performin' at a venue, wit kids in tha audience, try "Radio editin'" your music. First of all..Wit a name like Showtime...you would think this Ninja would stand about 6 foot or some sh!t. Nahhhh this Niglet was all of 4 foot. (He looked like Jiminy Cricket...if Disney gave him a record deal.) Also... It's called Hip Hop...I don't know what lil Showtime was tryin' to do, but damn... (And no i'm not worried about lil Showtime's retaliation. my thigh is bigger than him and his legal team...i.e. tha one Nig in his posse, that can count to Phuckin' five)

I guess you can tell, I don't like folks that offend my "Old School" constituents. But tha afternoon got better wit, tha blast of funk and R and B, from bands such as Men of Mecca, The Family Reunion Band, Skyyline and tha curvy grooves of tha Slave Review band.

Other than that, all was well. Tha night ended as usual, hot and sticky (Due to tha heat nasty asses)

Special Love and thanks to Mayor Terry Wells and first lady Loretta Wells. I hope they continue to let me come and embarass myself. Mad Love out to DJ Victorious, Tony Scofield, WildCat, Tha G Twinz, Stacy Kidd and all tha folks that showed love.

Most of all Big thank you's to tha Legendary Harvy Allbangers. Thank ya for Tha Illiterits , Code FI, and that sonic goodness you produce.

Now..If you'll excuse me... I have to meet wit my new management about my new porn name. here's what we got sooo far:

Lance Goodthrust
Matt MightyPeen
Taye Diggemout

Yeah... I know. I'll come up wit some more.

FIND ME: www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 Write me mayhemm09@gmail.com

Annnd...other musings http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/
http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/

I stay on my (Insert your slang word for progress)

2010-07-07T00:00:00.002-05:00

*Reaches for IPod and headphones. Puts headphones on, and programs The Roots's "Doin' it Again". Presses Play. Turns Volume wayyy tha Hades up*

Wow!!! you guys still hangin' around huh? Well... goood tha hell for you. Sorry for my interruption of service, I..errr...uhhhh... been doin' sh!t.

Ya know...like all you hip folk say...uhhh..Grindin', Hustlin', Paper chasin'.

Except... I don't say it... I DO IT.

I've been gettin' my Sidney Portier on, for tha last Three to Four months. (I figure if I can get paid for tha voices in my head, so tha phuck be it. I need to start chargin' them rent anyway)

As I journey through this "Industry" AGAIN, (Never learn my damn lesson do I?) I noticed that this time..is far more comical, than tha last. Tha last time I "Courted" said industry, our relationship was new and full of promise. As tha "Courting" progressed, I noticed a change.

What started out as fun and full of love, turned into a chore and all "She" wanted to do is Phuck me. Thus creating a hostile relationship. Sooooo...I exiled myself, until I knew myself more. As that happened, tha more unhinged I became. I became this mass of Bi-polar/Self-medicatin'/Expletive typin'/masturbatin' on tha regular (Insert ethnic slur here) you read before you.

But, it seems as though Tha Man UpStairs won't let me "David Carradine" myself yet, sooo... He wanted me to look at my past "Courtship", and see if we could patch it up.

Well..tha "Industry" and I are friends, but, that's all we can be. I mean... we'll phuck each other, and over every now and then, but that's it. I guess in order for me to reeeally get to know "Her" I had to go insane.

But don't get it twisted, I truly LOVE what I do. Thus, I'm back. Keep in mind, if you see me doin' my thang, I do it for tha LOVE. Oh yeah...and I also do it so I don't put ice in a glass, and drink Draino.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an audition for a porno version of "Good Times". I think i'm more of a "J.J.". but they want me to read for "Thelma". *Realizes that it's an ALL MALE version* ....Awww Dammit.

Follow this life. http://www.twitter.com/ www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 mayhemm09@gmail.com

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Don't think for a moment ,that I've left you.

2010-06-09T15:55:00.000-05:00

Friends, Romans , country Muh Phuckas, Lend me yo eyes. (Yeah I know that's not tha way it goes, but..sue me.) I needed to drop this line to say, I have'nt forsaken my "Flagship." As I have explained countless times before, I don't have tha sense, god gave a common house cat. As my moods/emotions/bi-polar kicks in, I needed different atmospheres and outlets to express by outbursts. thus, creating tha following... http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/ annnnd... http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/

Yes... It's all me, but different shades/sh!ts of me. (Hey..If Prince could do this sh!t back in tha 90's, you muh phuckas can go on my trip too!)

I'll be on those sh!ts from time to time, but I will also continue to sprew creative Man Butter on this site as well. But don't be shy on this one. Taste it. Look through some old ramblings and see what tha hell drove me to sooo many depths... Check back, and i'll keep you posted as well.

Now If you'll excuse me, I have a Wal-Mart greeter to finger. TOOOTLES.

mayhemm09@gmail.com twitter.com/mayhemm09 facebook.com/matt.lloyd3

How my mind works. Pt. 1

2010-06-03T16:21:00.000-05:00

I had to post this because 1. This snippet is an subliminal extention of me. 2. My damn site. (More for reason number 1.) Enjoy.

I stay Ignorant...with a catch.

2010-06-01T00:00:00.001-05:00

There's a good reason why stay pharmaceutically subdued. (On that sh!t.) There's also a good reason why. I don't discuss social issues that much. It's not because of those times, I spent in detention/juvenile court/academic probation, where I did'nt take to book learnin' so well. And it's not because, social issues are lost on me. Simply put, I'd rather dwell in my ignorance.

I stand by that because, anything that's media/people driven, seems to take it upon themselves, to drive bein' socially conscious, into tha ground. Instead of us letting tha initial issue propel us into action/response, we dilute it, we magnify it, we drag sh!t out until it loses effect. All we're sometimes left with is, rehashing painful and in some cases, irrelevant sh!t.

There's a difference between raising awareness/Call to action, and raising awareness/Using this issue/moment, to further jaded azz agendas.

This blog sh!t is becomin' re-phuckin-dicluous. I love that people have a forum in which they can express their views, so on and so forth. BUT...every one in a while, before ya hit "Publish", Read them sentences over again. Yes, you're entitled to your opinion, and tha right to express it. But don't keep expressin' sh!t, without tellin' me why you're expressin' it.

Media now, has become tha equivalent of vomit. It keeps givin' me tha same "Food" time and time again. Sometimes I get it more than Three times a day, different rations, different added ingredients for "Flavor". Once in a while, those contents are either too much, or too "Rich" for our system..and what do we do then?!? (Think of drinkin' too much Brown liquor wit nachos and a greasy pork chop sammich....seee.)

Media is a monster of its own. You can't regulate nor kill it. But you can "Regulate" your diet to just facts at hand. Stop phuckin' wit tha frenzy.

That brings me, to... Me. I give you my nasty azz exploits, not to shock and awe, but to laugh to keep from cryin'. If my self medicatin', masturbatin' fellatio cravin, ghetto intelligencia can help you forge on wit your day, after tha death and destruction, then Eff it, i'm ya (Insert Ethinc Slur Here.)

Trust me, my exploits are like chinese food. A little from column A, a little from Column B. but I'm here to get my therapy on, as well as make ya giggle.

So, don't think for a minute I don't know tha world is goin' to hell in a Ferrari, wit a whole in tha gas tank. I CHOOSE to be ignorant. And sometimes, we gotta embrace tha bliss.

Now, If you would excuse me, I finally found a woman, who would dress up like Prince, and let me do her. #Don'tKnockItTilYouTryIt. Smooches (Insert Popular name for female canines here.)

mayhemm09@gmail.com twitter.com/mayhemm09 facebook.com/matt.lloyd3

Random bouts of insane.

2010-05-24T00:00:00.002-05:00

Maybe it's the Haloperidol wearin'off, or tha 6 pack of Tecate I took wit tha Haloperidol, but I got some itchy sh!t on tha brain. These are'nt in any particular order. This is...ahh eff it. Enjoy.

#Random: Fellas..Have you ever cut one finger off your suede gloves, put it on your penis and pretend you bought your penis a suede pull over? (Works wit leather too. It's more chic.)

#Random: I once dated a woman, who was a Vegan. While havin' lunch one day she stated "Don't kiss me after you eat that hamburger. I can't stand that meat taste" Now, I don't have a problem wit that. BUT, I had just chimney swept her  Va Jay Jay wit my tongue, and kissed her afterwards.  BUT, she had a problem wit me havin' cheeseburger breath?!?

#Random: Who's gonna take care of all tha caucasian babies,  if they come up wit new laws to keep brown folks out of tha country? See...Black folks did it for tha first couple of centuries, now its time for us, to pass tha torch to tha brown folks.

#Random: Am I tha only one that Masturbates, and gets a "Ice Cream Headache/ Brain freeze" sometimes?

#Random: Why do some of the american people confuse our president wit bein' a male version of "Glenda tha good Witch" from The Wiz?!? Look, he can only do so much. Sure..He's gonna make some miscues. And sure, he's gonna have some success. BUT.. stop thinkin' he's gonna appear to you phucks and say "Click ya heels 3 times, and this sh!t is over"

#Random: I think me and Rodney Allen Rippy were separated at birth. (Google him children.) If so, I want some of that "Jack In The Box" money sonnnn!!!

#Random: Ya ever notice that, if some people have to show you what they do, they must not be that good at it in tha first place? (Yeah...i'm on that Socrates sh!t today sonnn...)

#Random: Why do some women ride that fine line between prostitution and relationship nowdays? (Send all "Phuck You" mail to mayhemm09@gmail.com )

#Random: Why are people so brave when e-mailin'/textin' etc...but can't pick up the damn phone (When applicable) and communicate?!?

#Random: Fellas have you ever just asked for a hand job, only because you knew gettin' anything else would require too much work?

#Random: Ladies..Have you ever gave a guy some tail, just to shut his azz up?

#Random: I went to see a friend's kid in a high school musical. Now...is it me or is bein' gay at an early age becomin' more trendy?!? Look..If you're gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, into Hamsters and Ferrets, That's fine. If that's your walk in life, I support it. (AGAIN...Send all "Phuck You Matt" mail to mayhemm09@Gmail.com ) What i'm sayin' is that, I never really seen such an outbreak of wantin'to be gay, when I was in high school. I mean...sh!t we knew some folks were gonna go that way, but they waited after high school. Now... high schoolers look like they're in fashion shows sponsored by Kanye West and Rupaul wit a side of Rihanna.

*Reaches for damp towel.* And now if you'll excuse me, I have Bukakke session to get to. Hopefully, i'll miss her hair this time.

mayhemm09@gmail.com    twitter.com/mayhemm09 facebook.com/matt.lloyd3

Be Afraid. Be Effin' Afraid.

2010-05-17T00:00:00.001-05:00

IT'S HERE!...IT HERE! TURN THIS ISH ON 10!!!!

AND THENNNNN......

AND I'M SPENT.

FACEBOOK.COM/MATT.LLOYD3 TWITTER.COM/MAYHEMM09

MAYHEMM09@GMAIL.COM

Reeeallly? I can't effin' breathe...

2010-05-14T00:00:00.003-05:00

You can't be Phuckin' serious?!?

Am I tha only one doubled over, urinating on himself ,laffin' at this at 3A.M.?!?

#ImmatureYesIAm.

ANNNND.......

I'm amazed and doubled over, at tha same time. I'm doubled over cause' this ish is hil-la-effin-rious. I'm amazed because, this sounds better than, most of tha accomplished Hip Hop artists, wit new projects out. *Effin Sigh*

My Soapbox...

2010-05-12T00:00:00.002-05:00

There's not too many people that can paint a suitable depiction of Us. Every once in a while, you run across one......

Vintage...is sometimes best for our times....

But we at one point, must adapt, to our surroundings...

facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 twitter.com/mayhemm09

mayhemm09@gmail.com

I do Random.

2010-05-10T00:00:00.002-05:00

*Cue song "Not Afraid" by Eminem. Sits up in bed, looks down at my "Cleveland Show" Underroos, wonders why he has'nt changed underwear in a few days.* *Reaches over for his laptop to sprew forth tha followin'....*

I really got to stop phuckin' around wit Abilify, and a Oxycodone chaser. Not only does it affect my judgement on sh!t, it affects my views. Wit that said, This ish right heeerre... is just random.

#Random: Ladies, I am a firm believer in that you're ALL beautiful. Tha only thing, to me, that makes a woman unattractive, is her attitude. (Read and cherish that statement AGAIN.) BUUUUT..... Ladies, ya gotta be honest about your attitude and wardrobe situation. Not all of you can pull off wearin' a damn baby tee. I mean...sh!t. Is it me, or tha women wit tha highest self esteem, have tha most jacked up azz attitude, and body symetry?!?

It's always tha woman that looks like Michael Clarke Duncan in a baby tee, wants to tell me how "Her milkshake brings all tha boys to tha yard". Really?!? how about you get a side order ofhumility wit that Milkshake. Or ease up off tha milkshakes. #JustSayin'

#Random: Men are soooo phuckin' quick to say they're "Grown". BUUUT...some of us can't get past, that "Catch a girl, kiss a girl" stage of life. Now, some of us have matured into somewhat decent human beings, wit a sense of self. (Me go poopy by myself.) Some of us should be declared "Ghetto Autistic" (For my Caucasian  fanbase, "Bush 2001-2009". To my Hispanic fanbase, "El  Geeeto Stupidio")

Really?!? Ya ever notice that tha loudest one in tha room, is always tha one not really sayin' anything,  worth a sh!t? Fellas...try bein' quiet. Reflect before you direct. (I'm a profound azz today...*Smacks own azz*)

#Random: I should reeeally get out more. These lil' nuggets I came up wit, came from just people watchin', on tha way to tha clinic. (Don't worry future baby mothers, tha itchin' has died down considerably.) Just think of tha ish I can come up wit, just milling around tha multitudes again.

#Random: Tha truth about me is, my mom had an affair wit Antonio Fargus, and tha guy who installed our "On T.V." (Remember tham sh!ts?) and made me.

#Random: ALL Brown liquor (And some premium Vodkas) should be called "World look sooo goood" juice.

#Random: Ya ever notice people who do "Reality TV" shows, have so sense of what their reality is?

#Random:Ya ever notice when some people tell you they're a "Actor/Singer/Dancer/Entertainer" they neglect to tell you, its only as far as Facebook?!? (*Self-esteem swirls around tha toliet bowl.*)

#Random : Ya ever notice that sometimes, even tha most nonsense statements, at one point in life make sense?

#Random: Deep in your subconscious, tha last question is gonna bug tha Phuck out of you.

Now, if you would excuse me, i've got some restraining orders to violate.
FIND ME.     facebook.com/matt.lloyd3   twitter.com/mayhemm09    mayhemm09@gmail.com

PSA:Tha Banger to end all Bangers comin' this Summer..

2010-04-27T11:01:00.003-05:00

STAY TUNED...THIS IS JUST THA BEGINNING.

#Classic

2010-04-22T14:24:00.002-05:00

Learn somethin' before it's done.

My hero. Pt 2.

2010-04-16T13:29:00.002-05:00

Paul Mooney. True Spirit.

My Hero.

2010-04-16T13:17:00.001-05:00

Ahhh...Summer.

2010-04-14T14:25:00.002-05:00

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Matt's PSA:Contains Extreme Talent and Hotness.

2010-04-06T00:00:00.002-05:00

Matt: Yo Dre'... I gotta dive into some more of this Actin'/producing/globetrottin' sh!t. Take me to commercial.

Dre': Aiiight bet.

www.tamarajackson.yolasite.com

Please click on, and be impressed by tha Talent and Hotness, that is my co-star and homie.

Matt: Yo Dre'...I'll be back.

Dre: Hurry back dude. Ya know wit this blog sh!t, if ya go too long without a post, they tend to forget about ya.

Matt: Yeah. But ya gotta go live life, in order to write about it..right? In tha meantime, they can meet, some of tha people I meet.

Who are you?!? www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 Follow me www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 Write me. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com

So..This is what happened...

2010-03-23T00:00:00.000-05:00

(Takes red Ball Gag out of mouth.)Ahhh...After a week or so of self loathing and self medicating, (We all have issues) I finally came up wit tha Testicular Fortitude to write about my latest...uh..adventures/bullsh!t missions.
March 13th and 14th (Always tha weekend, my exploits start.) was entertaining as hiznell as I got to watch a play, as well as perform in one.(Yeah kids, I'm an actor. Imagine them sh!ts.)

Saturday:
Not only did I have to prep for my own production, but Saturday night was tha production of "Love Won't let go" starring my brother Thespian (For black folks who did'nt take speech class in High School, and white folks in that part of Alabama that's to tha left, I did'nt mean Lesbian. Look it up GED candidates.) Dcapreeyo.

Let me say that "Love won't let go" was a solid production. It was such a breath of fresh air, to see quality Black theatre. (I know i'm supposed to say African American, but I came from Chicago/ Harvey Il. So i'd be lyin' by claimin' Africa. So i'll just be Black...Movin' right along.) Tha message of Faith being tha cornerstone of relationships was central message throughout tha production. Tha cast was was truly in synch wit that message.

From tha flowing script/storyline, to tha musical numbers, I found it to be a truly enlightening and entertaining piece.

Now...let's go to my night of Theatrical Extacy (Makes ya wanna lick ya lips in that "Naughty School teacher" way huh?...But I Digress.)

Sunday:
Was my perfomance in tha play "Bone Salad" (Hold up before tha jokes start.) It's based on Genesis, chapter 2 verses 23-25. (I know. Matt is in a Inspirational play. Thank God, tha director does'nt do background checks.)

I can't critique my own stuff. All I can say is I "Learned my lines, and hit my mark" (True actor's sh!t there.)

Chances are this won't be tha last time, i'll be steppin' on tha stage. I've actually been doin' this for a while. So i'll be gettin' my "Sidney Portier" on for a minute. Go to www.chicagoplaywrightelizabeth.com to learn more about tha production. (Ya know I gotta stay neutral. I got to hold on to tha little confidence, I have left. That's why I'll let you guys, be tha judge.)

Well..that's my weekend. As you can probably tell, I'm still decompressin' from doin' tha actin' thing. Don't think i'm givin' up this writin'/Bloggin'/Therapy for my inner demons thang anytime soon. But like with anything creative, you can only do it, when tha spirit moves ya. I'll keep ya posted.

But don't you be a stranger either. Friend me: www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3

Follow me: www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 mail me

mayhemchild007@yahoo.com

I aint dead yet.

2010-03-18T16:38:00.003-05:00

Hi ho neighbor! Just droppin' a line to say, I aint dead yet. I'm workin' on some ish that is pullin' me in some other stratosphere. (You woulda thought I was high by that statement.)

But in tha meantime, PLEASE, feel free to sniff around, some of tha older pieces of brain matter I got layin' around here. I will definitely keep ya posted on tha other sh!t brewin'.

PLEEEASE... keep in touch. Taste ya soon. (Mannish til I die)

FRIEND ME: www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 FOLLOW ME

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Drop a Line. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com

I gotta get out more...

2010-03-01T10:30:00.003-06:00

* In Captain Jack Sparrow's voice * Ahoy B!tches!!!. In my attempt to enhance my social life...i.e. (Workin' on makin' my face a thousand lipstick flavors.) And also to let off some steam, I decided to hit tha streets. My Phuckery started on Friday and ended on Sunday. (I have tha Scratches on my azzcheek to prove it) Let's recap shall we?

DISCLAIMER: What you're about to read contains extreme language and nudity...Grow yo azz up and get over it.

FRIDAY: I hung out at my Favorite watering hole Revelations in Country Club Hills Il.(Natch) to hear Legendary DJ/Producer/Performer Farley JackMaster Funk.
Let me start my statements wit tha following. Tha music was EFFFFFIN extrordinary!!!

It was suuuch a rich and vibrant mix of house music, that made tha whole night seem like a religious experience. Yeah..i'm a tad biased, due to tha fact that,this is tha music I grew up on. But anyone who enjoys an original, eclectic,grooves, set to a organic atmosphere, would've have enjoyed this night.

Farley was a Pied piper/showman/ringmaster. Even tha DJ's and producers in attendance, were in awe of tha man, who opened tha doors for them in this "Crabs In a Barrel" BullSh!t, we know as tha music industry.

Now for some random Phuckery of tha night. IT WAS CROWDED AS HELL MANNN!!! First of all..I walked into a sea of LaceFronts. It looked like "The Island of Dr.Moreau" for Beauticians. One woman looked like her LaceFront was sewn in side-damn-ways!!! It looked like a LaceFront Baseball cap! This ish gets worse. Fellas...Does Sean John make Men's T-shirts in tha size "I can cover a Mini Cooper,wit this mug?!?.." NOTE: Lay off tha McRibs.

Every Bald,Big dude there looked like they tried out to be Suge Knight in a VH1 special. Ladies...If you wear Thigh-High boots wit heels, Don't lace them up sooo tight. It looks like you're cookin' Pot Roast below tha knee. ALL big dudes, please refrain from using Bluetooth sooo much. When ya have it in ya ear, it looks like it's lettin' me know, when your body's stopped cookin'. (Blinkin') Oh..did I mention it was effffin crowded?!?

I think I may have some DNA test to take. I rubbed against so many women, I think one,may have gotten pregnant. In tha same token, I think one woman gave me Prostate exam by tha kitchen #NotComplainingSheWasGentle. I think that was her ring, I found in my...Ya get tha picture of how crowded it was.

Mad Love to Maurice Joshua,Tha Divine Ms.Tracy J.,"Come Hither Eyes" Kim L. and "Tipsy,Light Skinted, look so good drinkin' brown liquor" woman (Tracy and Kim's friend.) Watch tha floor, i'm gonna name drop some more. ONE LOVE to Hula and Tha Clubhouse Group, SunDance, DJ Blendz and tha innovator of a Movement Farley Jackmaster Funk.

SATURDAY: It was me , Her and Her and a Bald headed Midget Proctologist, Nekkid at tha LaQuinta Inn. #That'sABlogForAnotherTime.

SUNDAY : I applied Bactine on my...and I took my antibiotics #Don'tJudgeMeI'veMadePeaceWithMyNastiness. Then I bounced out to University Park Il., to hear tha band, AG SOUL.

Be on tha look out for these cats. 1.They play REAL instruments. Which to me, is such a breath of fresh air, ya know. 2. They play them phuckas WELL!!! They had such rich vibe, that reminds you of earlier L.T.D. (Look it up) They did a cover of Stevie Wonder, that was off tha hook! After tha 2nd shot of Patron, They actually sounded like Mint Condition.

There's nothin' like great music, great musicians , Bougie Black folks, and top shelf liquor to end tha weekend on a high azz note.

I was A little long winded on this one. But you're probably readin' this in tha bathroom on WIFI, or while gettin' your Pap Smear, so it worked out. So,if Ya'll will excuse me, I gotta make a "Movement" to get this girl's ring back. *Goes in bathroom, Shuts door*

mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3

www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

Black History Month. Really? celebrate what?

2010-02-15T00:00:00.001-06:00

I don't believe that, we should celebrate Black History Month. Now...As you start to construct that nasty azz, acid-filled, hate e-mail to send me, read this in its entirety. (And if you do write me, I have two words...Spell check.)

In my opinion, ( Zero in on tha word, OPINION.) We don't appreciate our history unless its convenient. We take notice to our history, only when it may benefit us. I got a better chance at quality programming on B.E.T. (I know I'm Stretchin' it.) than anyone givin' a damn at this day and age, about where we have come from.

Back when we were Lil' Negrolets, Every February rolled around wit a new sense of pride. These were OUR PEOPLE they were talkin' about. You could'nt listen to tha radio, turn on tha T.V. or even look at tha bulletin board of your class room, without seein' something enlightening and uplifting bout our past. Hell.. Even Phuckin' SOUL TRAIN had a Black History Scramble board!

It seems that tha older we get, we don't take time out to reflect on our history. It's February and tha most negroist thing on T.V. has been MTVJams and tha Super Bowl?!? Back in tha day, we only had X amount of channels, but I still saw Roots, all tha Miniseries on Harriet Tubman, Dorothy Dandridge, Fredrick Douglass and tha like. Now...I can't even get a simple Martin Luther King Documentary. *EFFFIN SIGH*

FACT: With all current technology,(Facebook,Twitter,e-mail etc...) I've gotten "Scattered Azz" pics "If you love Jesus" e-mails, and "#ReTweetThisIf" Tweets, "Write a review for my "it sucks Rhino Penis" Mixtape".....but not one nugget of black history fact.

We wonder why tha paths of tha future, are soooo riddled wit violence, depression and uncertainty. We don't even have tha interest to see where we came from, to see how we ended up here, to respect those who came before us.

Soooo.... Until we appreciate our past, we as black folks don't deserve a phuckin' month. Just continue on our Coonabulous path. As my past has always told me, "If you don't know no better, you don't do no better" (Thank you Grandma.)

P. Damn S.... Cancel June as Black Music Month. We haven't made BLACK music since tha 90's

mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3

www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

Feb 14th. For tha Half-Azzed lover in U.

2010-02-12T00:00:00.005-06:00

So, this is tha day you celebrate, all that's right wit luuuuv huh?!? Wellll.. it's time for me to poop on that theory, reeeal quick like. Ya see...I'm in love, wit love. (*In Sexy lisp*.. That one was fo tha laaadies...) I don't need a day, in which tha color Red and chocolates have become tha symbols of how much you luuuuv me.

Ya see..I'm not tha "Chardonay sippin', Sade song playin', Watchin tha movie "Brown Sugar" for tha 200th time, and knowin' eeeach phuckin' line sayin', Cryin' when I read Mary J. Blige song lyrics"... hopeless romantic guy.

I'm actually tha "Corona sippin', Maxwell's "Urban Hang Suite"/"Black Summer's Night" on repeat havin', downloaded Sade's "Soldier of Love" not only for tha lyrics, but its one of tha hardest Phuckin' beats in tha 2000's playin', Any Spike Lee movie, that deals wit relationships watchin', Need a woman wit enough issues, that they make volumes desiring" Guy. You know..realistic. #BornCynic.

So when it comes down to this one day, to let someone in on tha fact, they're loved, that to me seems rather...Half-Azzed. If you haven't let them in on your world this damn long, what's one more day gonna do.

I figure like this, If love flows through you guys like that, then Feb 14th, is really just another day. You ALWAYS can take time out your so-called busy life, to appreciate those that have made your heart sing.

For you to hold this Valentines day gig in that much of a high regard, should reeeally make ya think about, what you have as a union.

February 14th, is fine to start a new love. What better day to connect wit a possible soulmate, than over Cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster. For more established loves, that day should'nt be any more different than Monday thru Friday.

You celebrate love every day. Wit a phone call professing that love. You celebrate it everyday wit communication, enhancing that love. You celebrate love everyday wit jus doin' tha lil things to strengthen it. If you're followin' that formula, then that one day in February, is just really another day in love.

Those of you fortunate to have found that love, nurture it. So you don't depend on one day, to breathe life into it. Don't depend on trinkets and grand gestures to heighten it. What you will have will be organic and will strengthen wit time.

Now... if you will excuse me, I have some love to nurture.

TRANSLATION: I have a woman I visit (BreakIntoHerHomeWhenShesNotThere) and bask in her atmosphere.(GoInHerPantyDrawerAndStartSniffingAndWearing) Giggity Giggity.

mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/mayhemm09

www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

Track 32. How do I know you?

2010-02-01T00:00:00.001-06:00

This is definitely some free hand sh!t. I don't do trendy or popular sh!t too well. Reason bein', is that I don't understand what makes some of this crappola resonate wit tha masses so well. So well in fact, that people follow and live by tha practices of these Self made celebrities.

Way back when (As if I gave Moses those tablets.) People had to have at least a tablespoon of talent, to be considered noteworthy. From sports figures, singers, rappers, writers,actors, hell, even porno stars had to have a modicum of talent or Chutzpah.

Now,If you have a decent internet connection on your cell or PC, you too can be Someone to know. But in lies tha rub , you may not know sh!t.

It's cool and all that you've got X number of friends on all these Internets, but what are you doin' wit them?!? What makes you somebody that I would pay a cover charge to see yo monkey azz?!?

Do ya sing? do ya model, tell jokes, rap, discuss sh!t intelligently (By tha way, I'd brave tha Hawk in Chi-Town, for some above-average convo.) If you do ANY of tha mentioned, then fine. Do you boo boo.

But if your only claim to fame is this Internets sh!t, Go back to school. Pick a trade, Sell steaks out of a van, something other than me just knowin' you for this internets. To my writers, I understand this is tha playground for your expression. But hell, even you have to be careful of what to associate yourself wit.Use tha internets to cultivate your message, in case you gotta back up your message in person.

To build a brand, you have to have something to market. Whether it's good or ill-concieved, you should be able to show me somethin' that makes me say, "Oh..ok. I get it. That's why people at least want to know him/her." I just don't get how we as people, have made celebrities of out of bein' Coonabulous,Beanerriffic and trashier shades of white.

Look, I don't mind anybody wantin'their shot at being known. But...HOW do you want to be known?!? Do you want to be known as a thinker, someone who stands out for their ideas and talent? OR..someone who's claim to fame is that their "Pants are on tha ground"?!?

(I reeeally believe that guy is "Chicken George", and he was frozen in time. He was thawed out two weeks before American Idol taped. Tha only reference he had to learn culture from was B.E.T.)

mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3

www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

This just in: This is why i'm not havin' kids.

2010-01-25T15:35:00.003-06:00

To errybody that thought I only look for tha worst photos of women to post, well...tha..Fellas aint no better. Keep in mind..THIS IS A GUY. (No Homo or Fishsticks..Nullus) See ...This is why birth control should be given out in those "Special" classes.

ONE LOVE to MEDIATAKEOUT.COM for tha Coonabulous photo.

Ladies...Really?

2010-01-18T00:00:00.002-06:00

DISCLAIMER: I say what i'm about to say, wit respect, love and a overwhelming sense of protecting you ladies. From others, but most of all, yourself.

Ladies, does'nt matter what color, size, Sexual orientation or mental illness, this is for you.

Maybe it's a slow news day at some publications, TV networks or Black radio , but tha subject i've been runnin' into is, Why can't women find any good men?

Now, most media have focused on tha "Why can't BLACK women, find any good BLACK men" angle. (Thumbtack that. We'll come back to that.) But as it turns out, Women of every race, creed and color are havin' tha same problem.

Which brings me to my opinions and subsequently my sex life, comin' to a damn abrupt ending. *Checks for Jergens lotion, and old sock* herrre, we go.

Ladies, I understand you want someone who, by your description, who's (In no particular order.) intelligent, witty, handsome, financially stable, a listener, no kids, little emotional baggage, cook, knows his way around tha bed, A fixer around tha house, marriage material and some other sh!t that only Phuckas in vampire movies can do.

Ladies, look at that damn list. You find me ONE true contender for ALL tha elements of that list, and i'll show you tha woman that masturbates thinkin' bout' Flavor Flav. Simply put.... a man like that DOES NOT EXIST.

It's understood ladies, that with all that you've individually been through, you will not settle for less. But look, where it's gotten you. Instead of bein' tha independent beings I know, you're startin' to become...us, wit better hair.

Women have always been tha more mature, intelligent, and more rational of tha sexes. Yeah sure, you have your moments, but through tha many and various things thrusted upon you, you still have time to carve out a living for yourself, re-populate tha planet, be mothers to children, maintain that radiant, stunning, addictive, ravishing yet puzzling mystery of a body. And you still keep your wits about your surroundings.

For all that I mentioned, I sincerely applaud you. You are so appreciated.

Now, let me tell you why you may have inadvertently did rock cocaine during one of your "just us girls" moments while watchin' Lifetime.

Ladies, wit all that we as men have shown you about us, (Trust me, we're not that hard to figure out. ) We've shown you that, we don't always see, what's riiight in front of us. We've shown you that, our attention spans are tha equivalent of a fifth grade class on a sugar rush. We as men can start wars, bully countries, gather and take resources to harvest for power. But we can't remember your birthday, call to tell you we're gonna be late, or just plainly put...communicate wit you.

You've witnessed all of these traits first hand ladies, wit very few men gettin' better in tha communication aspect of it. Not to mention, we can better ourselves only a little at a time. If we get one part of our lives stable, its gonna take a minute to even realize we need to fix anotha part. We're slow witted like that.

Here's where that cocaine kicked in. Through tha media, and these surveys and people, that have no real track record of havin' or helped relationships. (Laced wit cocaine for flavor) These outlets have you believing that you need a man wit all of these qualities, to round out yo life. When, what you reeeeeallly need is SOMEONE who YOU can communicate wit, that you can help grow, ALONG wit you.

Bottom line, No man will have all those traits listed above, and still have tha mental stamina to understand you. He's gotta go lackin' in some sh!t, in order for him to have enough brain function left to take in, all your womanly goodness. You gotta accept that. Don't you fall into tha trap, of havin' multiple phuckas in yo life, for multiple functions. Face it, that makes you us wit better hair.

Stay ahead of tha curve, be sensible. NOW for tha whole "Black Women Lookin' for a good Black man" argument.

Just stop. Bottom line, just stop. Like my grandmama said (keep in mind,this is 64 years of marriage talkin') "Love tha devil you're wit."

I'm not sayin' all black men are devils.(Phuck tha hate mail) What i'm sayin is, if you're wit someone or interested in someone, obviously they have somethin' that's holdin' your attention. Just use your natural essence as a woman, to decipher if this is tha one for you, Stop lettin' that list above dictate your happiness.

There's soooooo much more to say about this, but I have a headache and my legs are numb from sittin' on this porcelain throne o' mine.

mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3

www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

My Tourettes be ackin' up.

2010-01-13T00:00:00.001-06:00

Sooo...I have her ankles, one in each hand, in tha air. And I get this queasy feelin'. It's gonna be one of two things. Either 1. Maybe that Strawberry scent down there , is a bit tooo intoxicating. or 2. I have a strange desire to reeeeallly just blurt some sh!t out.

Well...After I cleaned off "Mr Sandman", it occurred to me,*feels Dizzy* it's both. This is what happens (Sh!tPissPhuck) When I ( VulvaBallLicker) Don't take my (AzzFaceSipper) Meds. I (B!tchBetterHaveMyMoney) have Tourettes.

Wit that (CumStainVacumer) bein' said, I'll try my best to keep tha outbursts to tha followin'

- Why is it that we give credence to those negative people around us, (B!tchAssnessHaterSmallPenisesLooseVaginas) And we really never acknowledge those that genuinely love and care for us? (YoureThaFirstMyLastMyErryThing)

That's probably why your mind and life,are where they are now.(LowSelfEsteemNoSenseOfSelfDontknowYoSurroundings) It's not tha negative people around you doin' sh!t to you, it's you.(GetUpGetOutAndGetYourAzzSomeIntegrityCorky)

- Before you ride on that high horse (ArrogantAzzNoTalentAzzHack) and criticize others (PeopleThatLiveAndBreatheWhatTheyDo) about life, talent, or in general.(YouPickPeopleApartBecauseYouHaveNoGodGivenSenseOfPurpose) Take a good,long look in tha mirror (ElephantMan/Woman) before you render judgement on anybody else's life.

Look...no one gets out of bed one day, lookin' to fail. It takes a certain strength, courage and passion, to get out here,and put yourself out here, for tha world to see. whether its a Ditchdigger, Hoe or Governor. Actor, musician, or .. uh..hell this cyber litter box I write, before you condemn it, soak it in, then say sumthin'. (OrYourWhinyAbsentOfHavingASoulBearingAzzCanTryToMusterUpEnoughBrainMatterToTryAndBeCreativeYourDamnSelfMakesYouThinkDontItTryingToKeepThisUpOnARegularBasisButSomeOfUsDo)

Note: Never Listen to Twista and be off your meds, not a good look.

As my meds kicked in, and I just read what I typed, I realized that I took a little of column A from one post, and a lil' from column B in anotha post and made.. a remix.

I, in a way repeated myself. Maybe this is God's way of sayin', it needed to be repeated this way. He's funny like that. ORRRRR... Maybe God's sayin' I gotta stop takin' NyQil,Wellbutrin and Tegretol as a smoothie.

*Puts on Ipod, Clicks on "Sniper Elite" by J.Dilla feat. DOOM. Turns Volume wayyyy tha Phuck up*

mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 Follow me.(Nullus) www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

Track 31. My Pulpit. My Sermon.

2010-01-11T00:00:00.001-06:00

What better way to start off tha new year than to go to church. In this case, this is my sanctuary.I feel that I would'nt be me, if I did'nt tell some of ya'll, about cha selves.Church has always provided a honest, uplifting and euphoric atmosphere,to be yo-self. Well for this nugget of a post i'm providing that type of environment for all involved.Sit up straight,and take away from this what cha can.

- Is it necessary to throw shadow on someone else's happiness, even though it has nothin' to do wit you?!? For some, it's sooo easy to criticize and BackSeat drive errrybody's else's thought process.

If it does'nt impact you, why follow it so closely and talk about it so harshly? No one EVER gets up in tha morning, expecting that sometime that day, they will fail at a task. Some people need to feel validated. Look...I may talk about some folks, but I usually go after tha phuckas that have a tad more ego than they should. Men and women are never phyically ugly to me, it's their attitudes that make them that way.

Tha world is a beautiful, remarkable, battered and bruised place. Try to give a hand up, instead a foot down.(Seee..this positive sh!t is gettin' me to be a "Jerry's Kid")

- This is for those who, under all circumstances, are steadily striving to achieve, and be themselves.

I admire anyone who continues to walk their chosen path, and do it wit conviction. Whether it's school, a personal hardship or achieving success in a profession, ( Like this Bein' a writer sh!t.)Walk that path, wit you head held high. You will master that path. You will take each aspect of your life higher, forward and further.

(I can't stay on this "ABC Family Channel" path for too long.)

There ya have it. Ya realize, i'll be back to my usual unpredictable Shenanigans soon. Just wanted you to see that "Sinners have soul too..."

Ecclesiastes 9:11
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

Some of you needed that. (Don't ask how I know.)

mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 follow me on tha twitter. www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

Fellas, Lemme me hook ya up...

2010-01-06T00:00:00.001-06:00

Sooo..I'm eatin' cake off this beautiful woman's azz ,right (#DontJudgeMe. 1. She's clean AND a christian/Sunday school teacher. 2. It was Angel Food Cake, so it evens everything out.) and my Blackburry alert goes off to remind me that , "Damn, i's gotta B writin' some snappy wordin soon" NOTE: I never really focus on my "Coon" audience, so that was my attempt.

I'm thinkin' that, A. My Cake has an extra creaminess to it. B. Guys over 36 who are, "Late Bloomers" when it comes to dating, are tha most awkward SonsABitches i've ever seen.

When I hear some of tha pick- up lines, it's damn close to listenin' to a speech therapy class. Tha stutterin', tha stammerin', and that's just them sayin their own phuckin' name. #RainManSoundingBastards

Well..I'm here to help. (Awww Sh!t.) I'm gonna give ya some sure fire conversation pieces, that are guaranteed to either be unique and work (FatPhuckinChance) or land ya wit tha same results ya got now.(NotAMuhPhuckinThing.) Sooo.. Let's play.

Now...Any guy (Accept tha guy that has to read my sh!t, wit a Magnifiying Glass. On top of using glasses.) can use that standard "Excuse me miss" or "Hey Guh (For my Mississippi readers.) i'll drink yo bath water." But that's not grabbin' tha attention, right at tha outset. Try these:

- "Mann....Can I eat syrup sammiches off yo thighs?!?"

- " I like Cake. I like your azz. Can I eat cake off your azz?" (If it works, Use red velvet.)

- "You go to that churrrch over dere, because you got a Holy Booty" (If you use this, you deserve to have yo face ripped off....Jackazz.)

- "My apartment smells of rich Mahogany." (Thanks to tha movie "AnchorMan")

- "Mannn..That dress will look niiice, Balled up next to my bed" (You would have to be RainMan to try that one, and still walk away wit yo nuts.)

- " You aint a cop are you?!?" (Look..Some of ya'll can't stay away, from that "Pay to play.")

- "Damn...Ya mama got a azz like that too?" (If this one works,Chances are you're tryin' to bang tha "Sllloooow" girl, that works at Burger King.)

- Hi, my name is (Insert Name here.) I would be honored if, I could enjoy your company.

I truly recommend tha last one, for more positive results. In a nutshell fellas, Ya can't keep steppin' to Queens,wit all that sorry azz, immature, "Wanna be Ray J" bullshit i've heard ya do. Try tha truth. Try bein' sincere. Try a breathmint.

HINT: Fellas...Women are soooooo Turned on by a man who has.....Wait for it....wait for it.....some Intelligence, Some confidence. Oh yeah..Respect for them,right from tha start.

Fellas, that's tha hook-up. Good luck to all. And for some of you who ACTUALLY may use those lines listed above, Maybe Masterbating is more for you.

ONE LOVE.

Come on Cleatus...Say it. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3

Follow me. (No Homo.) www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

Matt's Public Service Announcement.

2010-01-04T00:00:00.002-06:00

Matt: Mann..., Dre' I need ta take one of those "CranBerry Juice" pisses...ya know what i'm sayin'? Take me ta commercial!

Dre' : Aiight, bet.

WWW.ANGELSEROTICSOLUTIONS.COM

To tha ladies. Look... you've always talked about goin' back to school, what better class to take than this one? And YES..this one counts and you can apply it to everyday life. Click on and sign up.

ONE LOVE. To my girl, Angel.

MAYHEMCHILD007@YAHOO.COM WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/MATT.LLOYD3 WWW.TWITTER.COM/MAYHEMM09

Track 30. Tha end of tha beginning.

2009-12-28T00:00:00.001-06:00

As I get my Autoerotism Asphyxiation on, (Tha lil Minx that wears all that black on my Facebook page, FINALLY said yes! Mmmm... And she's a squirter!!! NOTE: need Swim goggles.) I'm also puttin' together my "New beginnings" post.

I don't do year in reviews, that's what T.V. does for ya. I don't do New Year's resolutions because, I don't wanna resolute sh!t. I'm happy wit bein' me. (Think bout' it. I got this beautiful woman to do things wit me, that only farm animals would do, for only some Cheddar Biscuits at Red Lobster. Mmmm...*She squeezes neck firmly. Did'nt Climax yet.* Sorry, I almost blacked out.)

What I will do though, is go over things I plan to do, more. Ya see, resolutions are things ya try to either stop or "put a leash" on. Me, I plan to just enhance on, what i've been doin'.

- For instance, I plan to get out more. Not because i'm five cats away, from bein' that lonely old dude, eatin' Farina. (Ask ya momma what that was..) It's because, in order to write sh!t about life, ya gotta live life. It's easy to blog Fiction, tha hardest sh!t to write about, is always tha truth. Sooo...I think i'll sample some life from column A, and some from column B, and see what i'll crap out.

- Next. I wanna actually help some phuckas along tha way. i'm thinkin' that my sh!t, could maybe, help ya to know that, you're not alone when it comes to some weird, "Heath Ledger's Joker" type thoughts. (By tha way...Heath Ledger's Performance in "The Dark Knight" BEST EVAR.)

As you read this cyber toilet paper, ya realize that, I make you look sane. *Takes Red ball-gag out of mouth, to take a swig of Red Kool-Aid*

- Finally, I wanna stay growin', as a person. I never wanna become that bitter, old, phuck. I always wanna keep sharing, shinin' and continue to make ya sick, laugh, or masterbate to my profile pic. ( It could happen.)

Well...that's what i'm gonna do, this comin' year. Be prepared. Be afraid. Be open. I am.

*She tightens her "KittyMuscles", while tighting tha grip around his throat and...* AHHHHHGGHHH....... That's what i'm talkin' bout' *She gets up and fixes him Cheese-Eggs and Welch's grape juice*

Think i'm playin'? www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 mayhemchild007@yahoo.com FOLLOW ME! www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

DO IT FOR THA LOVE.

Track 29. My thoughts be Tangled and sh*t...

2009-12-22T00:00:00.003-06:00

As I was pleasuring myself, using that one magazine...uh...er...uh...(*Turns Magazine over for name. "Ashley Stewart..Fall collection 2009."*) I started to piece together some thoughts. (Masterbation helps me think... Sue me.) As tha year winds down, I need to untangle these lil nuggets and present them in a comprehensive, consise form. (#ThatsThatBullShit.)

- This has been tha year of "Everyone thinks they're deserving of bein' a "Brand". I'm truly cool wit tha fact that everybody, holds themselves in high regard. BUT let's be honest wit one's self..Some of ya'll aint that compelling to know.

Look..I realize that all of us, at one time or another, look for validation from someone or somewhere. They say All the worlds a stage, and we're tha actors. Not all of us can be tha Denzel or Angelina of our own lil universe. Sometimes ya gotta be honest wit yourself that, maybe you're just that Not Ready for Prime time player. Tha best way to become a "Brand", is to just give tha people...you. Everyone that stands apart from tha herd, is just bein' themselves. Personas are played out. And to those who may not approve of tha Juicy Goodness, that is you..Phuck em'. They were'nt worth yo time anyhoo.

- Is it me, or has tha music of today resembled more of a Stool sample, complete wit corn, rather than something to evoke emotions, memories and feelin'?!? Radio sucks Rotweiler penis.

Everything I've heard over tha last year or more, lacks any clear direction. Look without sounding like that old guy that stands on his porch, in his drawers screamin' "Get off my damn lawn", Music was much, much better as far back as tha 90's. Don't get me wrong, Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles,Frankie Knuckles, Bootsy and tha like, will always be tha innovators of a rhythm movement.

But tha 90's will be in tha history books for havin' tha last bastion of music that made an emotional connection to a generation. Sure we had our nasty asses..(R."piss on U" Kelly, Jo(on that sh!t)deci,) But they also provided a clever mixture of Nasty and finesse. Everything now sounds like what those kids in those "Alternative" programs, write as essays.

- Aiiight...Let's all stop once and for all, about...Haters. NOTE: If you have to acknowledge that you have haters, then ...really it's obvious ya really don't have any. Yo problem is that, yo azz is paranoid. Those that are comfortable in their own skin, don't acknowledge negativity.

Ahhh...*rinses off right hand...and computer* Now..That's tha stuff.

Let's be friends *Wink, like a muh Phucka* www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 mayhemchild007@yahoo.com Or follow this ish... www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

Simply CoonTastic.

2009-12-18T16:31:00.003-06:00

ONE LOVE to MEDIATAKEOUT.COM for this snapshot at Coon-americana. Ya know me...I'm not surprised at where tha tattoo is. BUT...1.Look at tha tattoo itself. It looks like a blueprint, for ways to get in and out of her Vagina. 2. If you look at tha RIGHT AZZ CHEEK (Top Half) it looks like she had pimples that she busted recently. (It was a SLOW day at work for me to notice this sh!t...)

Holiday Musings ( I threw tha pin...But held tha grenade.)

2009-12-14T00:00:00.003-06:00

As I stand here dippin' my "Member" in a Jar of Nutella, Havin' Daytime/Nocturnal emissions about that Threesome I want with, S. Epatha Merkerson, All of tha cocktail (HeeHee..I said Cock...then I said Tail...#ImmatureMoment.) Waitresses at Revelations (Go and look.) And tha one woman on my FaceBook page who looks like she's had her SweaterMeat fluffed...but they're natural. Look...I know It's more than three, but, shit I have a hearty appetite..And I want those 3 minutes and 12 seconds of pleasure, to go a looong way. (Seee ladies...I'm quite a catch.)

AnyHoo.. I was also thinkin' bout, this time of tha year. A LOT of us go into recluse mode when it comes to holiday cheer and shit. Whether it's due your financial situation, lack of a support system or just bitter, sad memories of holidays past...we tend to shut tha world out and cease to smile.

Well, I could'nt sit (Of course I can't sit...My Penis is Marinating in Nutella..hellooo.) and watch another soul go without some...uh...er...umm...cheer. So as I Marinate my Member, I decided to get some shit off my chest. My thoughts. If not to make ya think, to make you realize that "Matt's a sick phuck and MY HOLIDAY/LIFE AIN'T SO BAD."

Soooo...There's no rhyme or reason to these questions and statements. (Duh..my shit is called RantsOfAMadMan.) Just read and know that, these are my opinions and my trains of thought. *Takes Penis out of Nutella and sprinkles Cinnamon on Penis, and places it back in, to marinate more.* Enter at your own risk.

- I don't understand how someone can be soooo "Christian", "God Fearin'", and all tha buzz words of a good person, on a Social Networkin' website, and everytime I peep ya Pic... ya showin' me your Scattered Soft-core Porn azz ,wit some message next to it from Rev Run, or some shit. I'm sure Rev Run appreciates you soakin' in his message, but tha pic wit you and your SweaterMeat all out (Ladies) and those pics wit you clutchin' your "Imagination" (Fellas) seems to confuse tha hell out of me. Pick a damn lane, when ya tryin' to live right.

- Is there a reason why we would rather Text, E-mail, Instant message, Carrier-damn-Pigeon, someone we want/need to communicate with, rather than Call their azz?!?

- Ladies....In my opinion, DO NOT feel insecure about your stretch marks. It makes you look like a sexy Tigress. For Fellas, It makes you look like you got mauled by a Wolverine.

- Fellas OVER 36. What part of your self-esteem, perspective or dignity tells you, that you can keep up with someone considerably YOUNGER then yo azz?!? See... Ya seem to can't keep women ya own age happy, why phuck around and make "Miss Daddy Issues" sad?

- Women OVER 36. I understand that findin' a YOUNGER man is somewhat sexy. But if you ALREADY had/have kids, do you want another "Mr. Not to Damn Developed.. Mentally / Mommy breast fed him tooo damn long" sittin' on your couch, eatin' your Breyer's?

- Ladies...Don't you feel better when you wear MATCHIN' Bra and Panties?!?

- Don't you hate when you see someone dressed to impress, and their teeth look like they're havin' a gang fight in their mouth?!? You would think if He/She could afford those clothes, they could afford 1-800 DENTIST.

- Have you ever wondered how much sequins it would take, to make a dress for Aretha Franklin? (Google a current pic of her.)

- Trey Songz wrote a song called "I invented Sex". If he did, in fact "Invent" sex, That means he "Invented" those STD's. #ConspiracyTheory.

- Fellas. Have you ever stared at a woman's azz so hard, you thought you saw YOUR reflection?!?

- Porn should really be called.."Shit that will NEVA happen to you."

- Ladies/Fellas. Have you ever Masterbated soooo hard, ya blacked out? (Don't judge me. I got carried away one friday night, I woke up, it was Saturday afternoon. Mmmmm... Nutella.)

- I found out that tickets to a New Year's Eve party Featuring R.Kelly, may cost near 200$. For that much, is he gonna personally come over and pee in my champange glass?!? (Don't think I want a R.Kelly Mimosa.)

- When you see a "CockEyed" person wearin' glasses, Do you ever just think...*In old black churrrch lady's voice* "That baby need more medicine, in them glasses." Or "Maybe those Hubble telescope lenses can help."

- Ladies...a little F.Y.I. Look at your boyfriend / husband when they're brushin' their teeth. If they have no gag reflex, when they brush their tongue, They may be on tha DL. (Hmmm. Wait for it....Wait for it....) #ConspiracyTheory.

- Fellas. If your wife has no gag reflex...DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION. get couseling. If your Girfriend has no gag reflex MARRY HER. But, put a surveilence chip in her weave, so you can keep up wit your "Precious Find."

As you can see...I don't have tha sense God gave mice. But as I stated before, These are just my thoughts. I'll have more as tha year ends. If nothin' else, this makes you feel NORMAL. (Whateva dat is.) *Takes Penis out of tha Nutella. Admires tha glaze and Cinnamon sprinkles.* If only I was double jointed, I'd neva leave tha house. BON APPETITE.

Call me.. I'm in tha book. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3

Ya gotta follow this shit in real time. www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 See you should feel better bout' yoself already.

Track 28. I should'nt have Noticed. But...

2009-12-07T01:00:00.001-06:00

There is a reason why my azz should not be allowed, in public other than, to go to work and go tha hell home. My problem is that, I'm a people-watchin' fool. It NEVA ceases to amaze me tha testicular and vaginal (Had to be fair to tha ladies.) fortitude some folks possess when it comes to a social/"Club" setting.

I decided to be social Friday night and hang out wit tha "Beautiful" people. I think I'm gonna try this bullet point list thing because...shit, I can.

Ya ever notice security guys at a club, NEVER look like they go hungry?!? Also, It seems that clubs are hiring a lot of "Charles Barkley" stunt doubles for security.
In terms of tha club atmosphere, is it me, or does it remind you of Halloween?!? Damn near everybody is pretendin' to be somebody else. Not to mention, no one wants to play tha part of an adult..just a selfish-azz kid.
Ladies, Is there a reason why SOME feel tha need, to work out yo "Daddy" issues at tha club?!? There's a good reason ladies why SOME of you, can't keep or attract, a good man. If you're tryin' to meet "Mr.Right" in a "Meat Market" atmosphere, where you KNOW that, you're already lowering your standards, by dressin' like you should be singin' "Bad Girls" by Donna Summer..How do you expect to attract tha man you need? (Yeah, I said NEED. What you WANT aint always good for ya.) BE YOURSELF. Tha attraction will follow.
Fellas, how phucked is your self-esteem if tha only way you can even attempt to dialouge wit' tha opposite sex, (Or even same sex...No FishSticks) is if you use tha "MooLah" principle?!? Money,cars, or that fake-azz ChinChilla coat, (NOTE: By tha way..If you're OVER 275LBS and you're wearin' a FUR whatever coat PLEEEASE STOP! it looks like you Wear and Molest Bears.) won't help your quest for a mate,if you open yo mouth, and you're a phuckin' idiot. TRY THIS. Try bein' respectable,polite and attentive and most important...LISTEN. Ya may actually attract someone who you won't have to go see tha doctor afterwards.

*Looks out at Audience. Notices stares.* I see, I observe too much huh? Well..I could be wrong, BUT judgin' by your look, I could be on to something. Seeee...It's always good to just be ya damn self. Ya never know who's watchin'.

Mmmmmm...Honesty. Tastes good. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 or follow my chicanery on www.twitter/mayhemm09 ONE LOVE.

Really?

2009-12-01T00:00:00.001-06:00

ONE LOVE to MediaTakeOut.com for tha pic. I don't know What's more disturbing. Tha tattoo, or tha fact is that HER back has tha Shoulder Span of a Arena football player.

A Top Ten to Live By.

2009-11-30T00:00:00.001-06:00

Aiiight..Look. I Reeeally don't do top ten lists that well. Not to mention my top ten lists might be a tad...uhhh..On some weird shit. With that said, here's some top ten lists. All relating to music.

Top Ten songs you don't wanna hear, if you're in MALE prison... on LockDown.

1. All out of love - Air Supply.
2. AnyTime - Brian mcKnight.
3. Turn off the lights - Teddy Pendergrass.
4. Against all odds - Phil Collins.
5. Black Hole Sun - SoundGarden. (The title alone...)
6. Stand by Your Man - Tammy Wynette.
7. Love on the Rocks - Neil Diamond.
8. Forever - Chris Brown.
9. Don't Matter just don't bite it - N.W.A.
10. WonderLand - John Mayer.

Top Ten Songs you don't wanna hear, if you're in FEMALE prison...On LockDown (Natch)

1. Kissed a girl - Katy Perry.
2. How many Licks - Lil Kim.
3. I'm goin' Down - Mary J. Blige (Tha Title alone people..)
4. Nasty Girl - Vanity 6.
5. Pretty Mess - Vanity.
6. Sex Shooter - Apollonia 6.
7. Drive me wild - Vanity 6.(Ya see my Sickness.)
8. If I was your Girlfriend - Prince.
9. Tonight's the night - Janet Jackson. (Mmmmm. I need to get out more.)
10. Red light Special - T.L.C.

Matt's Top Ten songs for optimizing his Tantric love Making. (I see you're judgin' me already.)

1. Shaft - Issac Hayes.
2. Tha Theme from Law and Order - Mike Post.
3. Choke me, Spank me, Pull my hair - Xzibit.
4. Tha Theme from Good Times.
5. LGBNAF - Ice T.
6. Medium Pace - Adam Sandler.(Listen to it..Soothes tha soul.)
7. I Wanna F**K you - N.W.A. (It's a subtle love Ballad.)
8. Love Ballad - L.T.D.
9. Backseat of my jeep - L.L. Kool J.
10. Any "FreeCreditReport.Com" song.

Well.. there ya have it. Hopefully, you'll grab a listen to some of these songs, and they'll impact yo life, like they impacted mine. I think I like this Top Ten sh*t.

Call me..I'm in tha Book. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

My Own Worst Enemy Pt 7/TOUR INFORMATION

2009-11-20T00:00:00.001-06:00

!!!!!BETWEENYOTWOPILLOWS!!!!!

TOUR DATES!

Matt L. In conjunction wit ImSuchADumbAzz Productions, Trojan Condoms, Arnie's Idle Hour, Stroker's, and (Insert Your Favorite Liquor name here.) Presents to YOU....

!!!!!!BETWEENYOTWOPILLOWS 2009/2010!!!

11/20 - Rev's - Country Club Hills Il.
11/25 - Gloria's - Harvey Il. (Charity Event.)
12/6 - TBA.
12/7 - Lil' Mordicai Johnson's Bar Mitzvah.
12/11 - TBA.
12/12 - TBA.
12/18 - Ya Mom's - Homewood Il.
12/19 - Ya Fiancee - WhenYaNotHome Il.
12/26 - TBA.
12/30- TBA.
12/31 - INYaGirl - WhenyaNotLookin Il.

More Dates To Come for 2010!

NOTE: If you want Matt L. To Host or Perform at your Event or Establishment...CONTACT HIM. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com or www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 or www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

NOTE: You want be a sponsor on this tour?...CONTACT HIM.
Put your Event on his tour Schedule.

ImSuchADumbAzz Productions. 2009

REINVENT THA GAME.

My Own Worst Enemy Pt 6/ Thank You's on the Album.

2009-11-19T00:00:00.001-06:00

THANK YOU'S AND SHOUT OUTS ON MY ALBUM.

First of all I wanna thank God/Lord/Savior/The Creator/ What you call him here, for blessing me with this talent. I wanna thank my Mom and my Dad (At Least that's what they told me.) for "Smackin' Dat azz" to The Dells.."The Love we had..." and made ME.

I wanna thank the Teachers and staff of Elmer G. Kich Elementery and Rosa L. Parks middle Schools for my Education and me to be readin' anda writin' so good like.

I wanna thank the girls who were In my 7th and 8th grade classes, at Rosa L. Parks Middle School, when I went there. Some of you REEEEALLY "Filled out a Bra" before your time.

Shout Outs to tha guys that used to beat my azz, on tha way home. I hope whatever prison you're in, you can read this.

I wanna thank Thornton High School for tha 4 years that were...PHUCKIN AWWWWESOMME!!! To EVERY lady of my 4 years there...You are tha reason I LLLLLUUUVVV ME SOME CURVY AND SMARRRRRT WOMENS!!!!

To tha fellas of my High School, you gave "Tha Game" INTEGRITY...Nuff Said...

Shout Out to Illinois State University. When I first Started there, My liver was a child. When I left, It was an Old-Azz Man wita Bladder problem. SPECIAL SHOUT OUT: To tha Two Ladies that...Uh...Showed me with Tequila, What two Women that broke up wit their boyfriends may do,... if alone. (Needed Hand Lotion for a Month.)

Much Love and thanks to those that made this project worthwhile: MC Section 8 and tha link Card Mob, Qui-Qui LittleBritches, HangLow, Ashy Knucca, Trail-her Trash, Ms. YaSlipShowin., Snacke Cakes, Carol "Come Ta Momma" W., Azza K., Lil Cheryl Christian-actinazz, and SuperProducer Kim MarieFelt FirmBottom and Executive Producer ImOn SumBullShyt.

Also I would like to Acknowledge the Producers who DID NOT work on this Project: (Reasons are in Parentheses) Maurice J. (The Check I Paid him Bounced and his Brother told him not to.) Hula M. (He Cost too Much.) Stacy K. ( He Laughed at me too hard.) Azza K, (I only could afford one song from him AND The check I gave him Bounced.) George C. (The Check I gave him Bounced AND he laughed at me too hard.)
Code F.I. (They gave me an OLD business card AND I sent the check to the address on the OLD business card!) Farley J.M.F. (Fell on the Floor..could'nt stop Laughing for 20/30 Minutes, Then told security to throw me out.) Superior Media G. (Gave me an OLD e-mail address. AND I sent my check routing info to the OLD e-mail address.) Chicago Larry (He Did call me back BUT he's too phuckin'creepy.)

SPECIAL LOVE: To my FaceBook Family. I Love Each and every one of you. Especially you. To ALL of my Twitter Family. I Love ya always. To ALL the Internet radio, Pirate Radio, Somalian Radio, Hispanic Radio, and those High Schools and small Colleges with BARELY a Audio-Visual Department. Thank you for Playin' it.

PLEASE SUPPORT!!! WWW.MATTTLUVDEMOVER40SKRIPPERS.COM This Organization Helps over 40 Skrippers obtain decent shining Clear Heels and Thongs with Dignity and Respect.

STAY TUNED FOR TOUR INFORMATION. I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH.

BETWEENYOTWOPILLOWS TOUR 2009/2010 .

Contact InFo. www.mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

My Own Worst Enemy. Pt 5/Reviews are in.

2009-11-18T00:00:00.001-06:00

!!!! THE REVIEWS ARE IN!!!!

Matt L's CD, "Gurl..Was That U, Or me?!?" is a Certified banger!!! Here are some of the Reviews:

"Matt L's personal best..."- Vibe Magazine.

"This year's "The Chronic 2001" - FatBack Weekly.

"Matt's Flute solo on "Punanni Stew" is reminicent of Jimi Hendrix"- High Times Magazine.

"AshleyStewartsex/LaneBryantLuv" is this year's "Moments in Love" - Black Tail Magazine/CurvySpot.com

"Just when you thought Kanye West had the "Fruity" game sewn up, Here comes Matt L. - The advocate.

"Matt is in the same realm as Jay-Z!... If Jay-Z had a stroke." - Matt's Deseased Grandmother in a seance.

"Matt's Vocals on "Sack Across yo Face" Sounds so Much like that" - ASSLIKETHAT.net

"Matt L's and Carol W's collaboration on "Now U know we Can't Both Fit On tha Dresser/DairyQueensex" Reminds you of Jay-Z and Beyonce's "Crazy in love". If Jay-Z and Beyonce were Epileptic" - The Outhere Brothers.

"The Video for "U Reeeally Wanna Put it in There?!?" Was just what B.E.T./MTV/VH1/9.2.5./V.I.P.TV /Adult Film/fetish Video industry needed" - All the Ladies that Participated. (which were Women from Matt's FaceBook Page And a local "Hooter's"AND Drunk women at Rev's AND Over 40 Cougars working at Arnie's Idle Hour.)

"Matt Sniffed model airplane glue as a child,to make this CD happen" - CODE F.I./Superior Media Group.

There you have it. Be on the lookout for the "BetweenYoTwoPillows" Tour coming soon. Continue to request it at your local Skrip clubs, lounges, liquor Stores and Ashley Stewarts / Lane bryant (Lingerie Sections) Stores.

Please continue to support this album. 20% of the proceeds go to www.MATTTLUVDEMOVER40SKRIPPERS.COM . So far, we have raised 20,000 dollars (All In One Dollar Bills.) Let's Keep em' in clear heels.

Questions..Comments...Your review.... http://www.mayhemchild007@yahoo.com/

www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

My Own Worst Enemy. Pt 4/Release Day.

2009-11-17T00:00:00.000-06:00

!!!!!RELEASE DAY!!!!!

Today is the day!!! Matt L's New CD hits the Stores!!!

The moment you've been waiting for. Matt L's "Gurl..Was that U...Or Me?!? is here! This will change the face of Music. The Internet smash single.. "Gurl U need to Change Yo Diet..Because U don't Smell right down there" is just one of the many hits to come, from this clever mix of House, Hip-Hop, R & B, Jazz, Bluegrass, and Industrial.

Please get out there and get the CD that AUTOTUNE WEEKLY says: "He did'nt use Us?!?! W...T...F..?!?"

ENJOY.

YOU MAY PURCHASE AT THE FOLLOWING LOCATIONS:

ILLINOIS: Aldi's, FairPlay, Safe-Rite, Regal Drugs, Chuck Cavellini's, All Adult Video and Accessories Stores.

FLORIDA : Winn-Dixie, Publix, CluBB RoleXX, Hooter's, All Adult Video and Accessories Stores.

ATLANTA: Stroker's, All Adult Video and Accessories Stores.

CALIFORNIA: Safeway, Ralph's, All Adult Video and Accessories Stores.

EVERYWHERE ELSE: Check local liquor Stores and StoreFront Churches, Strip Clubs, Adult Video and Accessories Stores, And "White Power" Support Groups.

NOTE: For EVERY Purchase of this CD, 20% of the purchase goes to www.MATTTLUVDEMOVER40SKRIPPERS.COM An Organization in which Skrippers over 40,will be able to continue to obtain, decent CLEAR HEELS.

Thank you in advance for your support.

Questions, Comments, Reviews, www.mayhemchild007@yahoo.com or www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 orrrr www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

My Own Worst Enemy Pt 3.

2009-11-13T13:59:00.003-06:00

BIOGRAPHY/DISCOGRAPHY/FILMOGRAPHY Cont.

Ten years past since we heard music from Matt L. Sick and tired of how the music industry became so "Cookie Cutter", Matt set out to create music, on his Independent record label, IMSUCHADUMBAZZ. (Which in Swahili means...Nothing.)

On this label, Matt would create such street anthems as "Gurl U know U Hungry", " Gurl..I just played Basketball..That's why They smell like dat", " Yo C - Section went that far up?!?" and popular love ballad "CrookedPenis" (Which means in Spanish is "El Crooked O Penis O".)

In 2005,Matt started his "ManGina" MixTape series. Once a Year since then, The ManGina Mixtapes have put out, some of the hottest songs and artists of the past Ten years.

Groups such as "Section 8 and tha Link card 3" , "HangLow" and "JuicyDouche" Have always brought the streets what it wanted.

Now in 2009, It's time for Matt L. (MC StinkyStik) to personally deliver,what the streets ordered.

"Gurl..Was that U, or Me" is believed to be his personal best. The song "Gurl U Need to Change Yo Diet, Because U don't smell right Down there" is Classic Matt L. The beats on the song... "Ashley Stewart Sex Wit Lane Bryant Luv" Is a Slow Jam, that will be the new "Moments In Love"

He's not done with acting. In 2009 he signed with SHETOOKITINDABUTT Productions for a series of Love/Hardcore/Softcore stories based on his CD.

And when he's not creating new music, or acting in his own pornos..He's just Matt. Innovator, Entertainer, Entrepreneur, And in a word....RETARDED. ( In Norwegian it means DipShit.) Please support this "Special" Man.

DISCOGRAPHY.

1984 - "Let me do that to U in tha bushes"

1986 - " Big Bra Gurl"

1990 - "No Gag Reflex Huh?!?"

1995- "How U get it to do that?!?"

2005- "HeGina" MixTape series. Vol 1."Why Do My Finger smell like Cheese?!?"

2006- "HeGina" MixTape Series Vol 2. "GynoLuv"

2007 - "HeGina" MixTape Series Vol 3. " Then she Kissed Me in tha mouf"

2008- "HeGina" MixTape series Vol 4. " My Face Looks like a Glazed Donut"

2009- "Gurl..Was that U, or Me?!?" IMSUCHADUMBAZZ Productions. 2009.

FILMOGRAPHY.

2009 To Present. "Hawaiian Silky" - Character: ComeMeWannaLeiU. SHETOOKITINDABUTT Productions. 2009.

Any Questions, Comments, Please Feel free to Reach out. http://www.mayhemchild007@yahoo.com/ or www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 orrrrr www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

My Own Worst Enemy Pt.2

2009-11-13T10:18:00.002-06:00

BIOGRAPHY.

In Conjuction with Matt L's New CD release.We would like to bring you up to speed, about the man and his music, By "Starting From the top".

Matthew James Thelonious L. was born to African-American-Norwegian-Indian parents on September 3rd 197Sumthin'. In little Urban-Amish town called Harvey. As a youth, Matt has always, had an attraction to music. His mother Mabeline played the piano, as Matt would listen in his crib.

When Matt was only Six years old, He was learning to play Guitar,Saxophone , 808 Drum Machine, Flute and the Banjo. At Eight years old, He composed his first musical piece called "OOOO..gurl...I'm ln luh wit u gurl" Which later became "Girl you know its true" By Milli Vanilli.

At Ten years old , He left home to pursue a career in music. He landed a job in Chicago Illinois, As a session musician. He played CowBell for some of the most sonic bands, in the music Industry.

Earth,wind and Fire, Chicago , Survivor and Curtis Mayfield, just to name a few. But it was'nt until a chance meeting with an up and coming musician,named Prince Rogers Nelson, would Matt's career show such promise.

Prince would take Matt under his wing. Under Prince's tutlage, Matt would write, produce, perform his first recognized hit.

The song "Holly Hobbie Underoos" was the shot in the arm, Urban radio needed. At only Twelve years old, He was one of the opening acts for Prince's "1999" tour. Armed with a number one hit, and his melodic CowBell, Matt would dazzle audiences, with his playing and captive stage presence.

As the tour ended, Matt eventually signed with Warner Brothers. One of the stipulations in his contract was, he would write, produce, perform, play all instruments, cook , clean, and buy pizza.

The hits seemed to be non stop. Songs like, "Catch a gurl, Kiss a gurl", "Schwinn Stingray Luvvv" and the club hit "Yo Momma don't wear no Drawers..." Earned Matt Gold record status. "Yo Momma.." went Platinum, and was nominated for a Soul Train Award.

But alas, With the extensive touring, and the rigors of overnight celebrity, Things took a toll on Matt. On May 9th 198Sumthin', before he was to perform for the "United Colors Of Bennetton" concert of the Americas, Matt...simply Quit. He walked away from it all.

As time went on, scant sightings of Matt L. would be done. He pursued acting, and has been on shows "Sanford and Son" , "Charles in Charge" and the "What's goin' down" episode of "Sister, Sister" . He won the reoccuring role as Officer Tinson, a cop with a soft side.

After that, It would take ten years, for Matt to create music he would want to share with the world.

NEXT: His Discography And Current Project.

ANY QUESTIONS... www.mayhemchild007@yahoo.com OR www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 ORRRR... Follow Him for Cd info, Tour dates etc.. www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

My own Worst Enemy.

2009-11-12T14:37:00.003-06:00

PRESS RELEASE.

Tuesday will be the release of Matt L's first full length CD, entitled.."Girl..Was that you, or me?!?". This will be a unique departure from some of Matt's earlier material. Songs like..."Naw Gurl..That makeup don't make u look like a Rodeo clown" and " Give me 10$ on Pump 6 and a pack of "LifeStyles" ", is the sound, we have come to know Matt for.

But his new material, Like... "Do I smell AstroGlide on yo breath?!?" And the Internet Smash.."Gurl U need to change yo diet, because u don't smell right down there" Are his most prolific songs to date.

In days to come, we will share Matt's past, as well as Matt's future. For those that know, as well as the new, This is the future of music and entertainment. STAY TUNED.

ALSO STAY TUNED: for tour dates, Video auditions, and In-store appearences.

BULLETIN.

2009-11-06T00:00:00.001-06:00

UPDATE: Writin' for me right now, is like ya Daddy wit a pocket full of Viagra, and ya momma's not home....There's nothin' for me to get hard up about and phuck.

It does'nt mean that, I don't love you guys. I mean...shit. All there is out there now is...SILLY CELEBRITY SHIT. I reeeally don't care, for tha dumb shit...sooo I'd rather just SHUT...THA...PHUCK...UP...

I don't do trendy shit, all that well either. To tell tha truth, life on my end, has been pretty...reflective. So..i'm sure something will come along, and require me to take my "Cerebral Viagra" and commence to phuckin'.

Until then..I LOVE YA...

ALSO.. Come see about me on TWITTER. (MAYHEMM09) Follow me. OR e-mail mayhemchild007@yahoo.com OR FaceBook me (No Homo) matt.lloyd3

B.I.G. Speaks to me...

2009-10-29T00:00:00.000-05:00

Here's tha dark portion of tha show. Every once in a while, some of us go through bouts of "Not feelin' right". It's tha feellin' that, nothin' is goin' right. It's tha feelin' of bein' lost. It's a feelin' that maybe.... God Is just takin' messages.

Once these feelings surface, they're hard to shake. They sometimes say that.... "There's always somebody, that has it worse than you". Tha problem is, their situation may be different or worse, but we think of solving our situations tha same way.

At one point...some of us get fed up and "Not wanna be here anymore". When those thoughts start to consume you, ya gotta reach out to somebody...ANYBODY. It may seem like no one listens. But, even a stranger may lend an ear, because they've been.. or are there. Ya gotta air these thoughts and emotions out. Believe it or not..YOU....DO...MATTER.

Sometimes ya find certain poems, songs, or stories, that have sections that you can relate to, when you're in these moods. Tha problem is, tha more you listen, tha more you're grounded in that mood. I found that to be tha case wit tha song below. Notorious B.I.G's "Hold ya head" Featuring Bob Marley....actually speaks to me. Although It's his story, some of that pain, inner turmoil, and thought process he put into lyrical form, resonates wit me.

Although he did'nt go through wit his thoughts..He sliced his life open for all to see. He gave his pain... A VOICE.

Please Read. and think how some of us have a similar thought process.

"Hold Ya Head"(feat. Bob Marley) (Chorus: Bob Marley - sample from "Johnny Was")

Woman hold her head and cry,'Cause her son had been shot down in the street and died. Woman hold her head and cry,'Cause her son had been shot down in the street and died.

When I die, fuck it I wanna go to hell 'Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell. Don't make sense, goin' to heaven wit' the goodie-goodies.Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies. God will probably have me on some real strict shit. No sleepin' all day, no gettin my di*k licked. Hangin' with the goodie-goodies loungin' in paradise. Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice. All my life, I been considered as the worst.Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse. Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion, I know my mother wished she got a fuckin' abortion.[Chorus: Bob Marley]

Woman hold her head and cry,'Cause her son had been shot down in the street and died.

I swear to God I just want to slit my wrists and end this bullshit. Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull shit. And squeeze, until the bed's, completely red. I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fuckin' buddah head. The stress is buildin' up, I can't, I can't believe suicide's on my fuckin' mind. I want to leave, I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin' callin' me..Naw you wouldn't understand. You see its kinda like the crack did to Pookie, in New Jack. Except when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back. Should I die on the train track, like Remo in Beatstreet? People at the funeral frontin' like they miss me. My baby momma kissed me but she glad I'm gone..She knew me and her sister had somethin' goin' on. I wonder if I died, would tears come to her eyes? Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies.

Woman hold her head and cry,'Cause her son had been shot down in the street and died.

I reach my peak, I can't speak, call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak I'm sick of niggaz lyin', I'm sick of bi*ches hawkin' Matter of fact, I'm sick of talkin'.

Give Your pain... A VOICE.

mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

Track 27. Here's to good Health.

2009-10-26T12:55:00.002-05:00

* Cue Music. Goodie Mob's "Cell Therapy" starts blaring* *In Mr. Rodgers voice* Hello Neighbor. (Ya ALREADY look scared sh*tless.) Today we're here to discuss your health.

*walkin' around mama's basement* When it comes to health, there are soooo...many facets to discuss. *NOTE: Notice tha "Speed Racer" sheets on tha bed..And tha "Rick James.."Street Songs" poster on tha wall*

Today, I would like to share my insight, on three aspects of health. Nutritional, Mental , and Spiritual. (Don't crap yo self.) Let's begin shall we? *Music changes to "Next Episode" by Dr. Dre*

NUTRITIONAL.
We all have very tedious schedules. Sometimes it's hard to get tha nutirents needed to, sustain a good diet. *Takes one of the Garlic Cheese Fries on plate* Once in a while we may, "Go a little overboard" with our diet. TRANSLATION: If you can't look down and see and or touch your private parts..yo azz went...Over-tha -hell-board. One way to combat this is by, Trying different diets and foods and tha like. I believe my solutions could work on everyone's behalf.

GET YO AZZ OFF THAT COUCH AND EXER-PHUCKIN-CISE! I believe that if you put as much emphasis on walkin' up some flights of stairs, as you do tryin' to get that last "Ho-Ho" out tha vending machine, ya could peel some of that weight off. As for other forms of exercise.... Men and woman USUALLY can get a healthy workout off of,...uh... Vitamins...D and P (Wait for it...Wait for it...) If you COMBINE these two "Vitamins"... You're GUARANTEED to lose those "Love" handles. NOTE: If you can't guess what i'm talkin' about..You should'nt be doin' it.

*Music changes to "Crazy" by Gnarles Barkley.

MENTAL.
We all have our "Little Hangups" (Just realized he's been doin' tha show in Fishnets and a Red CodPiece...and likes tha way it feels.) I believe once we come to grips wit our inhabitions, insecurities, and tha like...We all will be better adjusted in our society. *licks tha "Janet Jackson" poster on tha wall (Skinny "Velvet Rope" Janet. NOT "Eats Chicken and Waffles" Janet.)

Tha quicker you say to yo self: "I'm crazier than Catsh*t..And ya'll can kiss my azz" ...tha better. (NOTE: Make sure you say it to yourself, IN A PUBLIC PLACE for a reassuring effect.)

*Music Changes to "Theme from Halloween"*

SPIRITUAL.
*Slips on Purple TrenchCoat and Azz-less Chaps* This has always been a sensitive subject for many. *Dampens a cloth, and shines Red Codpiece* Some or mostly all believe that our Spirituality lies, with a higher power. (AS TOLD BY YA'LL EVERY DAMN DAY ON FACE-PHUCKIN-BOOK!) *Regains composure*

Some of you believe in that tha Spiritual side of you, lies within' MATERIAL Possessions. (Like those ugly azz rims...you INSIST women love. OR..Those Boobs ya bought. You said they got ya that job, but now it got cha a backache too!!!)

ANY-FREAKIN-HOO... I believe in tha higher power theory *Whips out Leopard Print "Fender Strat Guitar* ("Do I believe in god? do I believe in me? Some people wanna die.. so they can be free...CONTROVERSY") *Have to Excuse Me, I have A.A.D.D*

There is something out there, that's guiding us. We Just have to own up to it. NOW..for those of you that always claim.."Tha devil is this".. "Tha Devil is that".. "Tha Devil lives in my House"..."Tha Devil Stole Husband" (NOTE:For tha last one...Tha Devil did'nt take your Husband..Your INABLITY to communicate wit that phucka, as well as HIS Hoo-er ish ways "Took" Yo husband")

Ya givin' tha Devil too much credit. As Much as you you acknowledge him, ya'll should let him take you to AppleBee's and have him pay tha bill. Shhheeesh.If he Lives within ya.. Charge his azz rent. Until then..KNOW POSITIVE, THINK POSITIVE, BE POSITIVE.

* "Cell Therapy" starts to play* Well... I believe that's all tha time we have today. Hopefully Tha tips recommended will help you towards, a more productive life. (NOTE: For tha Extremely Re-damn-tarded.. I was talkin about sex..makin' love...BONE-ING..In tha tha nutritional section.) *Picks Guitar up..Goes in for tha "Jimi Hendrix" solo... ONE LOVE ERRRBODY!!!!* Fade To Black.*

mayhemchild009@yahoo.com or www.facebook.com/mat.lloyd3 orrrr Follow my azz (No FishSticks) www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

Acapella: I need you / On that love ish...

2009-10-20T00:00:00.001-05:00

Yeah... I know..I know. I'm soooo gonna get off (Giggle.) of tha love subject. This will be tha last of this subject, for a minute. Ya have to admit, It's a cool subject matter. There's sooo much to be said about it, and yet not enough time in tha day, to discuss it. I think this one, I'll help tha fellas out.

Fellas, when it comes to tha L to tha O to tha V to tha E, we're somewhat R...E...T..A..R...D...E...D... It's sooo easy for us, to talk sh*t in a fight, brag upon somethin' we've done, even say some potentionally heart-warming ish, to get that one ya want. BUT... when it comes to tha words to keep her, we sound worse than "Dunnna" Man in "New jack City".

That's gotta change. Women LOVE consistancy. (You phuckas read those three words again!) Whatever ya say or do to get her, ya gotta keep it up, to keep her. (Repeat..Corky..Repeat.)

Most important...If she means ANYTHING to ya... TELL HER! Despite all that macho ish...We all need that ONE. SHE, helps us breathe. SHE, helps us be great. SHE, brings us to a place in our lives, that no riches or fame can measure.

That brings me to this song. "I need you" by Maurice White. Mr. White is one of tha most prolific songwriters, of our time. Before they were writin' about sex..MR. WHITE.. Kept us in LOVE.

Ladies and Gentlemen..I give you..."I need You. By Maurice White.

I can take a woman, or leave her alone.Temporary lovers come and go. You’re the only woman, that I’ve ever known, who’s got me losing control Oh, I don’t want to dream about you. Or wonder where you are. Oh, I wish my heart could beat without you, But I have gone too far?

You say, I need you. You think that I need, all the love you’re giving. And.. I need you ‘Cause living alone isn’t really living at all.

Never planned to make love a peramanent thing, Keeping my emotions on the side. Kinda like my life just the way that it’s been... Girl, I’m taking my time. Oh, I don’t want to miss you, baby.But have I gone to far?

Who decides which one we love, Or when we’re going to fall? I Don’t need two hands to hold. Two lips to whisper...

I need you. You think that I need, all the love you’re giving. And I... need you ‘Cause living alone...

I need you. You think that I need, all the love you’re giving. I need you. Like the air that I breathe, through an open window. I need you. I can’t let you leave, and I won’t pretend no more.

mayhemchild007@yahoo.com or www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 orrrr... www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 ONE LOVE.

Track 26. Experience my Bullshit.

2009-10-07T00:00:00.001-05:00

"You say bullshit attitude and experience gets ya through...Then come experience some of my bullshit" - Reggie Hammond. (48 Hours.)

Feels good to sit, and get some sh*t off my chest again. In case yo azz has'nt noticed..i've been M.I.A. for a while. No witty azz banter, no colorful azz insight, in short... I had S.T.F.U. for a minute. I figured like this: before you unleash your brand of bullsh*t to tha world, compile it into..at least articulate it in a clear, consise pile.

For tha last couple of days, I've had tha phuckin' worst migraine. I felt like Kanye West took tha microphone out of my hand, and hit me in tha face wit it. THEN Lil' Mama started dancin' (off rhythm) on my forehead. Along wit tha migraine came an ingredient of my brand of Bullsh*t called self-reflection.

I started lookin' inward at me as person, and came to this chilling conclusion: I'M CRAZIER THAN CATSH*T! (Not surprised huh?) *Sticks middle finger in tha air* Let me disect my Bullsh*t for you. I'm at my saddest, when I don't see you happy. I'm at my happiest, when you feel good. (Don't get all Chardonay drinkin' on me)

My biggest concern, is for you guys to love ya-selves first, then each other. I actually give a phuck about what SOME of ya think. I want... above all, for ya to take some intiative... and help somebody. Now that i've read what i've typed...I have to say..THIS IS MY BULLSH*T.

On tha other hand... here's some more elements of my Bullshit. I'm not gonna stand by, and let ya say stupid sh*t, and not call you on it. I'm not one to jus' go wit trends...trends are for tha weak. I'll be brutally phuckin honest til' my lungs collaspe! I don't get emotional, in verbal confrontations... I get to cutttin'. I'm arrogant , rude, and blunt. and THIS too..IS MY BULLSH*T.

All that's left, after this disection is tha shell given to me. Without all of tha above mentioned, I would'nt be..who YOU know me to be. Every once in a while, run an overhaul on ya-self. Find out what makes yo bullsh*t so special.

We all have a level of bullsh*t in us. Tha question is..what is it really made of.

Experience my Bullsh*t some more: mayhemchild007@yahoo.com orrrr. www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 orrr follow this bullsh*t life @ www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

ONE LOVE.

Acapella: Twisted./Love lamented.

2009-10-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

If don't like tha subject of Love and intense longing/heartache, Ya need to skip to some other shit I wrote, on this blog. Have ya ever had love come and go in such a way, that it seems surreal that..you were in love?

I believe that's happened to me. After some intense thought, brought about by a migraine, I come to realize something...uh...disturbing.

That without some sort of love, whether it's friends, family, physical or mental..life is so incomplete. Sure...you'll find substitutes, like work, school or destructive shit to fill that void. But, there's no real substitute, for that "drug" we crave so bad.

I'm forced to live wit that reality. Keep in mind, I did'nt lose my love, due to cheatin' or dumb shit. Simply put...in my opinion..she outgrew me. As a person, you have to at one point, come to grips that sometimes your loved one makes strides that you either can't keep up wit, or you're too immature to catch up to.

This brings me to my heartache. As much as I have to let her go...does'nt mean she does'nt still have her nails, in my soul. Tha lyrics to this Chaka Khan song.."Twisted" I knew since, I was about 11 or 12. It's almost like god had me, to keep this song close, for this occasion.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you (And her.) "Twisted" by Chaka Khan.

Here, certified unsound... I feel like you There's someone I've found, so far she's true. Out of me there's a voice which keeps calling... I'm hiding alone, crazy I know, and I am tied to your strings and twisted. I'm just waiting to show the others who know. And I am tied to your strings and twisted.

So medication still the devil in me. So into make believe, your smile I see. Out of me there's a voice which keeps calling I'm hiding alone... crazy I know, and I am tied to your strings and twisted I'm just waiting to show the others who know. That I am tied to your strings and twisted.

Hold me.. in this tiny room sedated here I'll stay. Next to me, I beg of you, don't throw the key away. Out of me there's a voice which keeps calling I'm hiding alone... crazy I know, and I am Tied to your strings and twisted. I'm just waiting to show... the others who know That I am tied to your strings and twisted. I'm hiding alone, crazy I know, and I am tied to your strings and twisted.

I'm just waiting to show all the others who know. That I am tied to your strings and twisted. I'm going crazy, girl, look out (Tied to your strings and twisted) Look out, girl.

Wow..I don't know what's more painful....typin' this or livin' this.

mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3

Acapella: OverKill.

2009-09-30T00:00:00.001-05:00

What's good people?!? With life tha way it is, ya wanna hear lyrics that speak to ya. With that said, with all tha violence, doom and gloom.. I came across some a song that reeeallly spoke to tha soul.

It's by tha band "Men at Work". (Don't judge..It's not what cha think.) Tha name of tha track is called OVERKILL. To me.. It speaks to tha uneasiness.. tha apprehension..tha hope. Tha lyrics are simple..but speaks on tha complex.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you...Men at Work's Overkill.

I can't get to sleep, I think about the implications.Of diving in too deep, And possibly the complications. Especially at night I worry over situations, I know will be alright, Perahaps its just my imagination.
Day after day it reappears...Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear. Ghosts appear and fade away.

Alone between the sheets, Only brings exasperation. It's time to walk the streets, Smell the desperation. At least there's pretty lights...And though there's little variation, It nullifies the night...From overkill. Day after day it reappears, Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear. Ghosts appear and fade away.

I can't get to sleep...I think about the implications.Of diving in too deep, And possibly the complications. Especially at night, I worry over situations. I know will be alright... It's just overkill. Day after day it reappears...Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear. Ghosts appear and fade away.

mayhemmchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 ONE LOVE.

FreeStyle: She's got game.

2009-09-28T00:00:00.001-05:00

* Puts on Jay-Z's "Black" Album..turns volume up* Aiight... I'm jus' droppin this trip, to show I actually still have a life. To go out on a weekend, and have a good time is a rarity now. With all tha high azz prices, and low azz entertainment value, it has really become "Party and Bullshit".

This weekend was pretty together. I went to go hear Stacy Kidd and Mz.Nicky at Revelations (Rev's) Saturday nite. (Note: as much as I've gone there..and paid ..AND...drank *Cranberry Juice* ANNND...wrote bout it...tha VIP section should be called "Tha MATT wing")

Let's jus' start off by statin' that...tha place was friggin' packed!!! At 10:30 it was enough scattered azz, and big dudes to fill a "Myspace" rappers video. keep in mind, it was an OVER 30 crowd, but some of us are not lettin' go of tha UNDER 30 attitude. (It makes my material sooooo friggin' easy!!) Some of us REALLLY need to stay inside on tha weekend and watch reruns of "Law and Order:WhatevaThaPhuck"

Tha music was High Powered by tha Divine 1's Mz. Nicky. BOTTOM LINE: She was vicious on tha 1's and 2's!!!!! She played shit, that took my azz back to bein' 5!!! (Don't....say...sh....) Her attack on tha turntables..was, SIMPLY AWE-PHUCKIN-SOME. She had complete control of tha room.

AND THEN... It was time for Mr. "House 4 Life" Stacy Kidd. QUESTION: How come when Stacy walked in, He looked like that scene in tha movie "Face Off", when Nicolas Cage stepped off tha plane?!? (Doves and all) But once he stepped into tha DJ booth...It was all she wrote. From tha first track played, He put it down for his city.

NOW.. I also have to give ONE LOVE props, to tha CEO that brought tha elements of tha atmosphere together. In an industry that does'nt give enough props to women (Except by sexist bullshit.) I would like say THANK YOU, to LaTonya St. Clair of LaStreet Promotions, for puttin' some INTEGRITY in tha game. I heard That she's branching out in tha area. If you get a chance to go to one of her parties...PHUCKIN GO ALREADY!!!! She embodies tha spirit of tha game. (In a "Man's" game..she's tha essence of a Hustla.)

Well..that's tha damn weekend. I need find some other shit to do, on tha weekend. Find me anotha spot to people-watch in. Find me a show to go to. Find me an activity...(Not that FaceBook "Mafia" shit.)

Let me know. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com or www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 orrrr www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 P.S. If ya reeally want to know some of my party comments...check out my Facebook Statues and Twitter profile. (Shit's funny.)

Track 25. Slice my life open.

2009-09-24T00:00:00.001-05:00

Ahhh...Here comes that part of tha therapy that, we make anotha breakthrough. Ya ever open up that part of your life, that makes you..YOU? And when ya do, it make you give thanks to those that contributed to your "inner makeup" ? I'm havin' one of those moments as we speak.

I always had some understandin' of who I am, and what I stand for. But recently I felt an overwhelming sense of soul-searchin' to dive deeper into tha nasty-azz abyss that makes me....ME.

With that said, I feel a need to thank those that have contributed to who I am, as well as, tha ability to do and achieve tha things I've done. (WARNING: May contain harsh reality.)

DEAR DAD:

Ya never were tha easiest person to talk to sooo.. I hope ya get a chance to read this. I would like to say THANK YOU for tha gift of life. Thank you for instilling in me, tha definition of being a man. Thank you for showin' me tha meaning of "Stand for something or fall for anything". Thank you for teaching me to never back down from no man. Thank you for showin' me intelligence wins over brute strength. NOW...

We never had that "Courtship of Eddie's father" relationship that others had. most of what you've shown me, came by observing, not by teaching. Some of your words were cruel, harsh, and mean-spirited. And then sometimes.. I got tha impression that you just did'nt give a damn. With some of tha things you've said,and done to me, I've "Swallowed a LOT of razor blades". Out of tha respect of you bein' my dad. When or even if, you read this, just know that I still respect and love you.. even though some things are still bitter pills.

DEAR MOMMA:

THANK YOU for tha gift of life. Thank you for instilling in me tha emotion of love. Thank you my sense of humor. Thank you for my "Wordplay". Thank you for my ability to make music. "MOMMY.. You're tha reason my words, my beats, and my soul make a marriage, why I act and write above average, and without you...I aint shit". Thank you for givin' me tha gift bein' blunt,harsh, and radiant, all in tha same breath. NOW....

While you are tha most loving woman in my life, You've said some things that have crushed my spirit. Your brutal honest nature, has always left me sometimes, in tatters. While you are tha prototype, for tha woman, I would want to marry, You're also tha woman I fear. Also in tha same breath you rip me to pieces, you give me tha strength to bounce back. You are tha classic "Enigma wrapped in a riddle" AND... I LOVE YOU AS THA DAY IS LONG.

Aiight... there ya have it. No fancy way of endin' this rant but to say...This is how I look, sliced open.

Hit me @ mayhemchild007@yahoo.com or... FaceBook me..Orrrrr. follow my sliced up life on Twitter (Mayhemm09).

Spread yo-self out.

2009-09-17T00:00:00.001-05:00

Short..sweet and to tha point. I don't think this is gonna be a long, drawn out rant. (Stop tha damn clappin'.) All I really want to stress on this trip, is that...life's tooo short to not inspire, encourage and help others around us. You got to where you are, by emulatin' someone you've come across.

It's reaaallly important that we take what we learned, and PAY IT FORWARD. You don't realize, that your errrrday life inspires others. People sometimes choose their paths by tha company they keep. If that's tha case, then you need bring yo "A" game when it comes to inspiration.

Keep in mind, we cross each other's paths for a reason. Whether it's 10 seconds, months, or years...we have tha potential, to pass on tha radiant in us.

AIIIGHT! back to our regularly scheduled program.

FOLLOW ME On Twitter (mayhemm09) or FaceBook me. orrrr mayhemchild007@yahoo.com ONE LOVE.

This sh*t's a religion.

2009-09-14T00:00:00.001-05:00

*Stands in mirror in "Chicago Cubs" fitted cap pulled down imatating Jay-Z's "Tha Black Album"album cover. Steps to mic...puts earphones on.. Waits for tha beat* Let me tesify in 5...4...3...2...

FRIDAY NITE.
MANNN....Can REV'S in Country Club Hills IL. get any more on damn fire?!? Tha scene that nite was like more like a church revival, (Like tha Blues Brothers)than a club. How many nitespots you know, that are on and poppin' at 10 tha hell o'clock? (Think bout' it...I'll wait.)

Tha spot was packed at 10!!...Ten?!? yeah, I said it..TEN!! And it only got reallly crowded towards 11:30/Midnite!! And tha music....and tha phuckin music!!...TWO WORDS....SIMPLY AMAZIN'!!!.. ONE LOVE to all tha DJ's of tha nite. DJ Blendz, E-Smoove, and Liddell "NUNU" Townsend. Tha music was tha stuff , addictions are made of ! Tha beats of tha nite, drove tha crowd into a damn frenzy. NOTE: THERE IS NOT A GENRE OF MUSIC AS ESTATIC AS HOUSE MUSIC!! (Stop me if I lie!)You can tell tha music, healed a lot of souls on this trip.

And tha people?!?!....Mannn listennn... Tha music was tha paint , and tha people were tha canvas. (My poetic azz.) It did tha heart good, to see people lose themselves in tha moments. Well..there were some honorable mentions (Herrre we gooo...) Like tha dude that was dancin' wit tha speaker. Look... I don't mind any guy, that's by hisself to do tha "Two Step". But.. when ya start makin advances to tha speaker.. to quote my Grandma Cleopatra "That's jus nasty baby" What happens if tha speaker, don't like you like that. Don't be surprised if it brings you up on charges.

And to my ladies...if ya decide to do a "Ladies nite" out..be careful when tha "Inner Nasty Azz" flag goes up...that people don't witness those "Experimental" moments. (Ya know what i'm talkin' bout') Oh yeahhh..ladies some of ya'll should have to go through an application process to wear sleeveless...uh any damn thang! When ya arms resemble a flyin' squirrel underneath...go wit short phuckin' sleeves at least. Oh fellas.. stop laffin' cause' uh...It's a party setting. Why did some of ya'll come in wearin' shorts and muscle shirts, like we're playin' a pick up game at tha YMCA?!? Spend tha damn money and get some jeans and a decent pair of shoes...not those broke-azz Protege's ya wearin' (P.S. them shits is ugly..Women are not feelin' them)

And, ya gotta love Tha Black Star power that was in tha building. ONE LOVE to tha grammy award winning producers of Hula and Maurice Joshua and Azza K. Fingers, who were tha "Tha Conglomerate" of tha nite. And don't think I did'nt notice, Chicago's Tightest Female DJ..SunDance (Talent, Brains and Beauty...My lawd..) Totally holdin' it down wit tha crowd. All in all..this shindig was alll FAB.. ONE LOVE TO MY TRU'S ...Arlene M..Marc A., My dude Quincy, Big Eric D.,Tha Divine Ms Keeba.Tha Sultry Ms. Shon... and tha Beeeeauuutiful staff at Rev's.

SATURDAY NITE.
Back to tha scene of tha crime. (Yeah.. I realize It seems.. this is tha only place I go..but hell... At least I support..how bout' you?!?) This time, this is tha Saturday Revelations set featuring Byron Burke. (Ten City) I gotta show extreme love to tha Divine Ms. LaToya ST. Clair, and her street team of Lastreet Promotions, for some Sophisticated Grown and Sexyness. Tha music AGAIN was eclectic and colorful Big ups to DJ Debonair for takin it back to tha days of "Karate" shoes and "John Wayne" shirts (Don't act like ya can't remember!) And tha street team themselves were Modeled After their Boss...Brains and Beauty woven effectivly.

Now... don't think that this crowd, was more put together...PHUCKSSSS NO!! To My big dudes. If you're goin' to wear a chain, Make sure tha chain and pendant are loong tha hell enough!! Don't come in lookin' like, you're wearin' a gold choker!!!Fellas.. If ya chain gets tangled up in ya chest hair, GO IN THA BATHROOM AND SHAVE!! It looks like ya chain, is tangled in taco meat! OH LADIES.... Is there a reason that even if you can't balance, ya thickness in heels, ya still wear em'? There's a fine line between walkin wit grace, and walkin like you workin tha low end of Cicero Ave!

And for all. It was tooo crowded for an attitude. Some contributed to tha crowdin', by not goin to tha gym once in a while.

But. this set is a "MUST GO!!" For Saturday Nites! Drop in and see how Ms. ST.Clair and tha crew do it. SPECIAL ONE LOVE TO Mr. Thel Davis of REV'S AT 18221 PULASKI IN COUNTRY CLUB HILLS IL!! It does'nt get anymore professional or classy than you.

AIIIGHT! If there's any other events on ANYBODY'S agenda that I should see..(Or Emcee..Hint..hint..Can't keep workin' at Stuckey's all my life) hit me up @ mayhemchild007@yahoo.com orrrrr...follow my shenanigans on Twitter (MAYHEMM09) orrrrrr FaceBook me (Shirts on please.)

Track 24. (Internet Charm School.)

2009-09-09T00:00:00.001-05:00

"Let's see what we can phuck wit next!" Usually when I echo these words, It usually means i'm about to go a lil' ape-shit. (No Darwin reference) Look...let's talk about this beast...this...machine...this rude sommmabitch called Tha Internets.

Aiiight..let's go all in. With any great device or interlectual aid, there are those that use these tools, for tha good and strengthening of one's self and others. And then...there are those who come along and...uh..how do I say this for my sensitive readers...ehhh...AH! YOU'RE PHUCKIN IT UP FOR ERRRONE ELSE.

LOOK! i've accepted tha fact, that tha internets is errybody's game. But, shit guys some of tha Coonery, Beanery and Douchebaggery that's bein' seen is down-phuckin-right sad. let me go "All phuckin in!!!"

To some of my "Myspace" and "Facebook" rappers/singers. (Some alleged) QUESTION: if I don't wanna hear yo "Casio Keyboard Mixtape vol.who gives a shit" in reeeally real life, what make ya think I wanna go to www. border line homo-thuggery.com and hear that shit in MP3?!? Oh yeah...what part of tha thuggery included goin' on these sites, askin' to be a "friend" wit ya damn shirt off?!? (Don't laugh singers..I got you too!)

To tha singers....PICK...A...DAMN...LANE! you can't be sexy,freaky,naughty,nasty, and then all of a sudden, you singin like ya tryin' out for a Tyler Perry play! As for askin' to be my "friend"...LADIES I rrreeeally don't care if your "Sweater Meat" (Clevage) is showin' It does'nt make you that much friendly. To all: Let ya talent show (And it will show.) leave tha gimmicks alone.

NOW...last but not least....EVERYBODY. For tha most part, I love tha positive feedback (And some negative) that i've seen. I cherish tha sentiments and scriptures that are displayed. They show that there is a thriving good in us all. AND THEN...ya got those that jus errry time ya look around..they're CONSTANTLY lettin ya know, that "Tha devil is all around them"

Reaally?!?! I mean phuckin reeeally?!? If that's tha case,and.. ElDiablo is chilln' at ya crib, How come cancer is'nt cured?!? How come tha war aint over?!?! How come kids are dyin' on our streets?!? How come some "Myspace" rappers/singers are still alive?!? (Ya thought it too.) Look...get over this "Whoa is me" shit. Sure, we all go into that dark place once in a while, but nothin'...nothin stays dark forever. Hell...even tha black hole is surrounded by bright stars.

I know this beast belongs to errybody (I stress that.) but let's try a refreshin' concept..BE...ONES...SELF. This beast, if used properly can enhance. If you're a stutterin' stammerin' idiot in reeally real life, chances are..you're gonna live on this bitch. And that's bad because some people STILL believe, that ya need personality.

For those that wonder,... I talk it how I live it. Hit me @ mayhemchild007@yahoo.com or FaceBook me (Shirts on pleease.) or follow this life on Twitter (Mayhemm09) ONE LOVE.

Freestyle. (Question it all)

2009-09-03T00:00:00.001-05:00

*Movin' through tha crowd* "Matt Lloyd...Full fledged heathen.... damn glad to meet cha." What's good my pretties? What's goin' on? what's here? what's hip? what's now? I jus' wanted to drop a line to say hi. (Other words: No specific sh*t to write.) Ya know me...I people watch. (No stalkin' or "American Beauty") Tha followin' is a series questions that I need phuckin' answers to...Heeerrre weeeee gooooo...

Why do tha most ugliest actin' men and women, have tha strongest smell of self-esteem?!? Why are we obsessed wit "Keepin' up wit tha Joneses"?!? Why don't we honor and tell people we love them while they're here, instead of when they die?!? Why is love so hard to come by?!? How come people can communicate via social networkin' sites, but they're stutterin',stammerin' idiots when in person?!?

Why does'nt Monostat make a extra strength cream for guys that wear skinny jeans, and tooo tight t-shirts?!? Why when some women wear wigs,why do some look of em' look like that hooker in "Car Wash"?!? Why would a guy pay 2500$ for a car, only to put 8000$ worth of wheels, and 7000$ worth of sound system?!? Why would a woman by 300$ Manolo sandals, only to have her feet look like Mini-knuckles?!?

Why would you get pissed off if ya buy a piece of jewelry at a kiosk in tha mall ,and it turns colors?!? (IT'S FROM A DAMN KIIIIOSSSK) Not a store. Ladies..why can't tha guy who you buy your purses from, get better immigrants to stitch them together?!? (Also..some of that sh*t..naturally looks fake.) Fellas ...why do you insist on wantin' two women at tha same time, when you're steadily disappointin' tha on you have?!? (Read a book..watch a movie..learn sumthin.) Is there a reason why you can sport 200$ jeans...200$ sneakers...300$ leather jacket..but you're beggin' your co-workers for 5$?!?

Now that I've left this steamy pile on tha lawn...think of tha questions you want answered. Tha object of tha game is, never jus' accept anything for what it looks, or sounds like. ASK.

Aiight..operators are standin' by. Hit me @ mayhemchild007@yahoo.com or FaceBook me (Fellas..why do some of ya'll have ya shirts off in ya photo?!?) or follow me on tha Twitter (MAYHEMM09)*funny sh*t ensues*

Freestyle. Pain Threshold.

2009-08-26T01:00:00.001-05:00

" I could'nt help but notice your pain (my pain) it runs deep...share it wit me!" - So much pain. - Tupac.

Have ya ever woke up at bout' 4 in tha mornin', and felt a pain that you thought was gone? What I mean is, a pain that you've carried in your heart so intense, weather its been weeks, months ,or even days, this pain in ya heart won't seem to go away.

At some stage, we get to a certain point in our lives where we accept pain, as a part of tha territory. But what happens when certain types of pain become part of our makeup? of our exsistance? That's a question that has kind of phucked wit me, for a minute. We all are and will, deal wit situations that will cause us to go, to a dark place in our lives.

We all have different mechanisms we use in dealin' wit pain. Some choose humor, some choose to avoid others and bottle it up inside. Some actually take tha self destructive route. Whatever tha approach is, it seems that results are tha same...You will NEVA...NEVA... EVAR... shake that pain.

Oh yeah...you'll quiet tha voices in ya heart and head for a minute, but at some point in ya life, when ya least expect it, you will visit that dark place again. You know that sh*t's gonna happen sooo... take precautions and find a positive approach, in dealin wit that pain ( No, this aint tha "Dr. Phil" bullshit...its a suggestion. )

It's about doin' somethin to give that pain a voice, a yell, a motorvating factor. Sometimes tha pain we feel, if used in a helpful light, can propel us to do great sh*t. Some of tha best moments, as well as breakthroughs have stemmed from turnin' that negative energy into a positive drivin' force.

BOTTOM LINE: We all have to get better at harnessing that pain,into a positive force. Hell...look at me...There's not a phuckin' minute of tha day, that I don't think about ,a heart I broke , tha feelings I hurt, or a soul I did'nt help. But instead of pissin' and moanin' of how life dealt me these bad hands, I decided to make tha internets my therapy, my coping mechanism, my "voice" . (Not to mention it gives YOU a chance to go..."at least I aint that phucked up")

Please do sumthin' positve and turn that dark place into sumthin'somewhat lit. So when you do visit..you'll feel a little more secure. (Wow! did I say that sh*t?!?)

Aiight...Talk wit me @ FaceBook or Mayhemchild007@yahoo.com OR.... Follow this weird azz life on Twitter. (mayhemm09) ONE LOVE.

Maybe you've seen me in tha video..

2009-08-24T00:55:00.001-05:00

*Sips Tahitian Treat fruit punch and takes 2 Flintstone chewables* What's good my people?!? Tha weekend has been, well.....tha weekend. I did get a chance to grab a cup o' fun and be in a video shoot. (No porno. Those days are are long gone...My porn name was Mocha Latte. Sh*t..TMI..I know.)

I got ta hang out at Rev's in Country Club Hills il., for tha video shoot of "Holy Ghost" tha new single from hitmaker Stacy Kidd. As far as video shoots go, this one went pretty smooth. Usually, ANYTHING dealin' wit' tha music industry, can turn from work in progress to clusterPHUCK in a matter of minutes. This experince was extremely pleasent. Tha atmosphere had a real positive flow to it. It was a clear example of how sh*t should go. Tha music was tha backdrop that reeeally helped all tha elements come together. People never got tired of takin' pics as well as dancin' their azzez off (I know I can't dance...if I dance, ya'll would'nt respect me later.)

There's reasons why events like this go according to tha plan. Tha music, again was on point. Tha atmosphere was electric due to tha promotion and ambience given by Latonya StClair and her team at Lastreet promotions. They did a nice azz job of enhancing tha club's surroundings. Now...for tha visual end. I got to give mad props to "Tha female Gordon Parks of this Photog sh*t" Ms. Cindy Barrymore.

She has a real keen eye when it comes to, capturing tha essence of tha atmosphere. Add to tha equation of beautiful people, you have a clever mix of organized chaos. Also...Black Star Power was minglin' wit tha appearences from Grammy award winner Hula and tha man of tha hour, Mr. Stacy (Tha big chain) Kidd ( He does wear a Big-azz chain.)

As for tha track "Holy Ghost"....MANNN LISTENNN...certifed club banger!!!! (Ya know I don't review garbage) Stacy has a talent of blendin' and creatin' mixes that boggle tha muh-phuckin' mind. (Look for his mixes and songs on Traxsource.com and other outlets)

So, it was actually a pleasent experience in tha music industry, for once. While tha hell i'm at it, I gotta show love to those, That make this movement..a movement. ONE LOVE. to Hula, Maurice Joshua, E-Smoove, Liddell "NuNu" Townsell, Tha Diz, DJ Emanuel, and CHICAGO'S Tightest female DJ Sundance. ONE LOVE. to Byron (Ten City) Stingly, Marshall Jefferson, Farley Jackmaster Funk, Terry Hunter, Matthew Yates, and sooooo phuckin' many more.

If I forgot you...remind me. Come to Friday nites @ Rev's @ 18221 Pulaski in Country Club Hills. I'll prolly have to make it my spot. Black. Star. Power. at its best.

Aiiight people...if you got an event fo' me to see, or people to know, or just wanna chat (No sex line) Hit me up @ FaceBook (Matt Lloyd) or follow my weird actin' azz on tha Twitter (Mayhemm09) Trust me, it make you thank god fo' yo life.

Mannn Listennn...

2009-08-21T01:08:00.002-05:00

Mann....listen....I have a renewed spirit in Hip Hop! Maybe its tha cranberry juice talkin' but, This shit riiight hurr....THIS SHIT RIIIGHT HURR!!!! This week has been great fo' me in Hip Hop.

First of all, I rreeeeally mean HIP HOP. Not Rap. Yeahhh phuckas there's a difference! Rap is what cha KIDS listen to. HIP HOP is what a GENERATION listens to. (Yeah i'm biased like a mutha) This week, tha generation, got a shot in tha arm by tha release of tha SLAUGHTERHOUSE album. (Hip HOP says album)

From beginning to end, each track deserves a phuckin rewind! My fav, is tha track "Cuckoo". Mannn... pick dem shits uppp!!! Real Hip Hop won't be disappointed.Look... if Hip Hop is near death,..then SLAUGHTERHOUSE is tha defibrillator

Now..anotha shot in tha phuckin arm, is tha those lyrical chemists out tha Chi..called Code F.I. I got to see these cats perform last nite.

Look..Tha definition of a tru artists is tha ability to perform (Full Throttle) for ANY size crowd. Whether its tha stadium, or tha lounge around tha corner, you put it on tha line. On this nite, these cats performed in a stepper's (yeah I said STEPPER'S..)club.

Ok...you see tha clash of elements riight? BUUUT...These cats....THESE CATS RIPPED IT THA PHUCK UP!!! Mannn..There's a cut they did called "Cook dem gritz" (YESSS.. COOK DEM GRITZ) it was an aggressive banger!! Tha beats were classic Boom Bap. Tha lyrics...they were some chemistry shit man....Both cats complemented each other in style. If you get a chance...phunk that...COP THAT SINGLE..COOK DEM GRITZ.!!!

Whew!...its been rrreally nice for Hip Hop this week. Hopefully this will start a trend of quality instead of "Greasy kid stuff".

Got some ish for me to see? to hear? to friggin attend? Hit me up on FaceBook (Matt Lloyd) ORRR...Ya reeally wanna see what i'm thinkin@ these events, FOLLOW ME on Twitter (Mayhemm09) come on... ride wit me. (No sex talk)

Freestyle ( Life's Anomaly)

2009-08-18T06:00:00.008-05:00

How come one of tha most electric words in tha world, can be an expletive in tha same breath? I'm talkin bout' tha big "L" people...L to tha O to tha V to tha E...love.(echo)...love ( gotta like tha Whodini reference) .

I have sat my monkey azz down, to ponder this weird, mysterious, sensual and aggressive word. Tha definition I found,is tha following: Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection [1] and attachment. Peep that again. Nice, neat, concise.

Nowww...That definition is from Wikipedia.(who in tha hell would name some sh*t Wiki..nevamind) Can we,wit a straight face, accept this definition?!? Tha reason I ask is... I believe we all define love in different ways. That definition is tha blueprint,of how some of ya'll look at love. Let's see if I can open a window and peek into ya hearts for a minute (No homo guys)

Love:( by mayhemm09's / What chu thinkin..) definition is all of tha followin': Tha overwhelming sense of belonging wit another soul. Tha wantin' and NEEDIN' to be entwined in another person's space and time. A sensation of tha soul that can only be quenched by another soul. Each other's auras are essential to tha existance of one another.

Ya get tha picture. BUT... tha flip side of that can go... like...this: Tha equating of abuse and distain..with affection. Tha constant need to CONTROL,and not consult or consider another's feelings. Tha insistance of yourself onto someone who clearly, does'nt recipricate your affections.

One of these definitions, dependin' on tha individual and tha situation you're in ..... equates to love.

You have to be honest wit yourself and decide,what defintion suites you. We all know right from wrong. Use that same ability when defining your love.

Pleeease.. feedback me at FaceBook (Matt Lloyd) or follow how I love at Twitter ( mayhemm09)

ONE LOVE.

Track 23. Relationshit (Tha Remix)

2009-08-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

Now... let's see who's gonna be givin' me tha evil eye on this shit. As you may have already noticed, Im a people watchin' fool. Sooo it should'nt be a suprise that I..uh overheard (Actually they were LOUD as hizzell) a gaggle of ladies sittin' and talkin' bout' (What else?) why men aint shit.

Now jus' about every swingin' ding-a ling and every "Miss Kitty" wit a keyboard has offered up one theory or another on, why men and women get to a crossroads wit each other. Some theories are insightful. Some are well-balanced. Some are ..."Is this Phucka serious?!?" Well..This may be tha latter.

BOTTOM LINE..herrre we go. Tha reason that men aint shit ladies has nothin' to do, wit bein a dog. (Hold that thought i'll come back to that.) Bottom line, we as men have REEEAL phucked up azz communication skills, when it comes to women. We can always say tha right things to get em', but ta keep em'..we would rather give a cripple crab a crutch, than to reeeally sho' some inner self. Yeah..It also does'nt help us that we walk around wit that Attention Deficit Disorder all tha damn time. Once we get tha one woman who fell for your "Line of bullshyt" credit,..tha thrill is gone and we're off to tha next shiny object.

Bottom line fellas...That whole Goldie tha mack shit is played out. If you can actually find a woman who can put up wit your no communicatin', no fulfillin'her needs azz ,you do more than tha minimal to keep her. If yo azz can read tha sports section.. day in and day out..you sure as hell can read up on better comminucation skills, to get more involved in her. NOTE: About tha bedroom fellas...don't be so damn stingy..REAL TALK. keep up tha stingy shit and you'll mess around and, won't be tha only game in town no more.

Ladies.. I did what I could do on that one. But you're out of tha woods yet either. As much as you can say "men aint shyt" well..(Look at cha..tryin to see what bag i'm gonna come out of) Ladies... sometimes...uh...eh...how can I put this?...YOU'RE TOO PHUCKIN COMPLEX FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!!! (so much for some "Miss Kitty" for tha rest of my days.)

BOTTOM LINE: SOME women think that men are these,creatures of wonder, when we're actually Forrest Gump reloaded. (secrets out guys) There's no reason for you ladies to treat every guy like some Law & Order episode. Yeahh...I get it you don't wanna be hurt, or taken advantage of..But you're intelligent enough to know that if shyt's not right at first impression..feed tha Phucka wit' a long handled spoon.

Now..fellas..(Watch this) Did you know that women know what role you're gonna play in their lives, within tha first 5 minutes of meetin' you? ( Ladies..stop tryin to figure out how I know this.) Women know from your first gesture to your first words if you're gonna be friend..booty call...lover..or "Jus another in tha closet gay dude I know"

Well.. It's been a slice of humble pie for us all. It all boils down to communication. There are some on both sides, that gives us all a bad name. BOTTOM LINE: no one is perfect. before you see sunlight..ya gotta sometimes rise above tha clouds.
(That one's for tha ladies.*pause*....corny sh*t.)

Please hit me up and tell me what cha think @ Facebook/Matt lloyd or follow my logic on Twitter/Mayhemm09. Thumb through this blog and read RELATIONSHIT Track 4.(Tha original) Its...a friggin gas mann...

Track 22. Word of what?

2009-08-10T06:00:00.001-05:00

Friends..Romans...Countrymen...Even you muthaphuckas in tha back... lend me your eyes. Yes, I'm a tad he-bitchy on this one.(feel free to use he-bitchy at tha office..go ahead.) As you may..or may not have noticed, I haven't wrote for a minute. Reason being, that part of my self-imposed therapy is to observe my surroundings. (Translation: I'm on some people watchin' shit)

I've noticed that tha Internets have become tha default therapist for many. In tha last week...I've read many Twitters, Facebook statuses and blogs (Natch) and came to this conclusion..There's a LOT of unhappy,sad, and bottom line...insecure people on these nets. (Keep that contempt for me...we'll be back to that.)

Here's tha rant. I don't mind anybody gettin' on tha Internets and voicing their opinions..I strongly believe in that. But also, I believe that if you can TYPE it..then you can phuckin SAY it to those involved. I've observed a lot of "lip service" online but a lot of "coward" in person. Tha Internets gives all an opportunity to flex those muscles, that you can't flex in person. It's one thing if that person is'nt accessible to you (Goverment, Celebrities, Fox phuckin news) But when tha person lives in a good radius of you..AND you have their contact shit..THEN KEEP THA SHIT OFF THA DAMN "NETS"

Nowww. for those that are either a tad...uh emotional...or... spiritual...or...jus...shit..i'll call it, what it is... IGNOR-PHUCKIN-RANT..this is for you. Again.. I don't mind if you express yoself and get shit off ya chest. BUT, with doin' so..do it wit a modicum of heart and reflection. Too many things i've read seem to be more shock value and sympathy rather than insight and relating. You can write what cha want to write, but ...tha whole idea of writin' is purgin' tha thoughts within and makin' some sense out of tha wreckage.

Also, if you don't have anything really to say... JUS SHUT THY PHUCK UP. You will eventually have somethin' to say. If your observations are not genuine and come to ya natually..don't make up shit. If ya do...you are a gnat's azz close to being a third grader again.

As for me..yeah..my shit sometimes sounds weird and trite. But my shit is from my head and runs through my heart (Smoke some..drink some..and recite dat.) I don't really try to be funny.. I write, like I talk. I don't try to be on tha righteous end of shit. I type it, like my thoughts dictate it.

So..tha next time you read anyone's Tweets, Facebook status or blogs (my shit too) look for tha true grit in tha words, rather than tha surface shine. And when ya type..type tha soul.

Please see some of my weird azz thought processes yoself. Follow me on Twitter (MAYHEMM09) or check out Facebook. (Matt lloyd) I can't hide behind shit. It's my "voice"

Weekend at a glance..Warning:May make ya giggle.

2009-08-03T07:00:00.001-05:00

It's over already huh? Ya ever notice tha weekend never lasts long, when ya havin' fun?Sheeet...Let me recap.

Friday nite.
You Already know this drill. Rev's in Country Club Hills was its usual jumpin' self. Tha same Black Star power was in effect. Some of tha better points were that there were less guys there, wearin' those Xtra medium T-shirts ( they were actually just medium) And ladies i'm sooo proud of you.Your hair and toe game was on point. (except for tha honey who had a severe case of "knuckle toes") Aside from that..tha nite was tha usual juicy goodness. Oh yeah, big ups to my 1st sighting of tha House Music tranney. Its kinda like Bigfoot, ya only see it once in a blue friggin moon..(Note: Don't at tha throat to validate..may agitate him/her.) ONE LOVE to Hula, Maurice Joshua, Liddell "NuNu" Townsell, Stacy Kidd and Chicago's tightest female DJ Sundance. Tha Clubhouse group rocks.

Saturday afternoon.
I was fortunate to host (Yeah...somebody let me near a mic.) a festival in tha cozy hood of Phoenix IL. tha Phoenix Fest is a annual event in these parts.It's a mix of picnic,family reunion, and tha ever entertaining talent showcase.NOW... this..uh...talent showcase..I don't and won't attack anybody who gives an effort to do their best.BUT...if you don't strive for some modicum of different...How do you expect to take your talent further.Most of all tha acts were rap.(not Hip Hop...rap. yeah mofos there's a difference.)

Heeere we go....To all my"MySpace" rappers. Can we talk about somethin' other than tha money you have (Allegedly)and tha drugs you deal (Asprin does'nt count) and tha women you bed down (Look at yourself...do you think ANYBODY is gonna believe you?) YOU'RE ON MY-DAMN-SPACE!!! your marketin' plan is f**kin jaded!!! Look, If Facebook is a house...Then MySpace is tha apartment you move out of without cleanin' it. AND..please stop wit all tha damn colors. You're startin to look like you molest crayons or you melt Skittles into your clothes. There was ONE group that stood out for their presence, delivery and overall persona. BIG UPS to " Tha G Twinz" out of Chi-town. Tha beats..crisp. Tha rhymes positive..Their show...TIGHT. Mad love out to their manager Pierce Henry, constant pro throughout.

NOW... tha R&B. Ladies...you don't have to ooze sex to be noticed (YEAH...I said it!) if you are doin' tha oozin' sex thing...at least dress right. PLEEEASE..don't wear a loud azz sheer top, wit a WHITE bra under it!!! Ya look like a black Peggy Bundy. And wearin' revealin' s**t is played out. I reeeeally don't wanna see your fruits and berries for tha time you're on stage. Give me personality..give me content..not crotch shots and you're "inner nasty azz."

THE BEST PART of tha showcase was tha "Old Skool" portion of tha show. This episode was, by far what music, talent and personality mesh beautifully. Tha bands like "Men of Mecca" and "Tha Family Reunion Band" are tha essence of music. They don't give a damn about impressions..they care about content. They strive to stand out, and not settling on blendin' in. And tha nite's Special guest of "Steel Bill Revue wit Shorty's Rhythm and Blues Band"was truly a treat. Tha gritty band, along wit featured vocalists Benard, Mark Shaw and Bobby Renyolds, bought tha delta blues wit them.Tha music drove us while tha audience were passengers. Malaco Records own Steel Bill was truly representin' for tha delta.

All in all, It was a Grreat day in tha park. Aside form tha rain, tha women wit "Skittle weaves"(All tha different colors hair/weave) and tha fellas who strive to look like Steve Harvey knock-offs (These linen-lookin' shirt/pant sets guys wear...looks like they're goin to bed at tha club) It was festive. SPECIAL THANKS to Terry and Loretta Wells for allowin' me to have tha chance to do my thang ALSO...I LOVE THA TOWN OF PHOENIX IL!! Tha people are real and tha atmosphere electric.

If you got some ish ya want me to check out, hit me up on Twitter (MAYHEMM09) or FACEBOOK...(see Grown and Sexy as opposed to...)

ONE LOVE.

Track 4. (Relationshit)

2009-07-29T07:00:00.005-05:00

I'm writin' this one with tha song, "lies" by the Black Keys in my head.I just got word that a friend of mine, has got a case of the relationshits. (don't spellcheck me mofos i'll explain) Once you have found that special someone, whether at your favorite watering hole, office or champange room, you embark upon a journey to know them just as well as any proctologist or gynocologist would. Thus the relationship is born.

Now during this time, there will be a series of good times, bad times, and what tha f**k was I thinkin times. (indicators that signaled this shit may not be kosher.) But through the pain stakin' process, something tells you that this.... this.... being is the one for you. Now.... you done did it now, you went to Costco, Sam' club or that bodega near 125th and bought that symbol of yo luv....I pronounce you......

Fast forward seven long-ass, three and a half were good, four kids into the game years. She don't wear her hair like she used to. You don't wear your stomach, like you used to. But you being the.... hee hee.... man you are, decides he want to rectify the situation with a little rectum. (some booty people. an affair. keep up guys)

That brings us to the relationshits. Look I don't pretend to about this courtin' s**t.But I know this, It's better to be upfront about your unhappiness in a relationship, than to take matters into your own hands. It's extremely hard when kids are in the picture, but when do you start back being the person you were, instead of the person you've become?

For some, there are many that are in a good place with their relationship. Then there are those that are running out the clock, waitin' out the obvious. Life is to short for anybody to be removed from happiness too long, The only way to stop the relationshits is get is to take a dose of common sense, followed by a steady diet of positivity, then have a piece of mind now and then. If not, they got Depends on sale at Walgreens.

This shit right hurrr...

2009-07-27T06:00:00.003-05:00

Ooomygawwd!!! *Sips Tahitian Treat fruit punch, listenin' to "Bad Luck" by Teddy Pendergrass* just when you thought a party could'nt top itself...BAM! To quote my man Katt Williams "This shit right heere n**ga..This shit right heere..."

Friday nite at Rev's in Country Club Hills IL was another banger to go down in tha history books. You can tell you in for some good azz debauchery when tha parking lot was filled BEFORE 10!!! Of course my monkey azz got there at about 10:20 (I was tryin' on this pair of British Knights...sue me) When I did get there...Goood Gaawwd!!! How does a party start off..interestin'? I mean...shit..most parties at least start off wit a lull in tha action, then start to ramp up tha pace. Ohh no.. not in this muthaphucka.....

From tha very start tha music had people sucked in. The clever mix of rhythms and beats had heads bobbin' from tha jump. Then...It was already packed around tha dance floor...why did tha dance floor,...all of a sudden...YOU COULD'NT SEE THA DAMN FLOOR! People took themselves to a whole...notha...level. Tha good times were jus startin'. Tha bar was just a flowin' wit people. I felt like I was downtown tryin' to get served shheeet.... (To my bartender..much luv. she's was losin' her mind for a minute)

Tha atmosphere had somethin' for errrbody. For tha fellas tha women ratio was on 10! For tha ladies..It was a chance to enjoy themselves without some of tha immature bullshit. I must say that tha mix of people was on tha money. To see tha "Grown and sexy" crowd reeeally be who they are, and not that uptight, too cool bullshit. I love to see Black Star power minglin' wit tha crowd. To see Grammy winners like Hula and Maurice Joshua just bein' tha cats we know. To see Sundance (Chicago's tightest female DJ) in tha buildin' Jus bein' beautiful people.

Now...That does'nt mean I did'nt catch ya'll, who were there not bein' beautiful. To tha ladies I hung out with by tha door...Thank you for tha company..( You smelled and reminded me of Cinnamon.)(no stalker) Also.. was it models nite?!? SWEEARTAGAWWD it was amazing. Fellas..Thanks for wearin' so many tight T-shirts. I didn't know if I was goin' to give away Monostat 7 at tha door. Not to mention guys... you kept it respectable which is some "Denzel" shit.

Heere we go....to those on tha dance floor, I sure as hell did'nt for get you! To tha gentlemen lettin their "Inner Rupaul" come out... jus' be careful next time. your move are good for praise dancin' at church, but for a packed dance floor...not so much. And ladies *shakes his head*... I don't mind your "Inner Nasty Azz" comin' out during to party, but pace yourselves please. Also can errrbody pace yourselves while in tha party. after a while tha air was a clever blend of..Armani code, Polo, CK1, Vera Wang and azz!!!

This was AGAIN... a great time..period...I guess tha question remains for all of you that did'nt go as well as those that did...WHEN ARE YOU COMMIN'?!? Damn it's only 10 damn dollars (FREE BEFORE 10) ya can't beat that. I've done this for 2 Friday's so far, and i'm thinkin' of this Friday to be tha third. Come on please. Ya won't regret it. This is tha movement that will neva die!

COME EXPERIENCE SOME OF THIS HEERE...

Rev's 18221 Pulaski. Country Club Hills IL. I wanna see you cats there THIS FRIDAY!!!

Mad Love to tha engineers of this movement...To my dudes Hula and Maurice Joshua. Mad Props to DJ Blendz, Lidell "NuNu" Townsell, Eric "E-smoove"Miller. One Love to Sundance (Chicago's Tightest female DJ) and my dude Stacy Kidd. Mad Props to tha Diz for tha electric set he played.
One love my people..Cheryl, Tracy ,Ms Forte, Craig A., Michael Younger, Marc Allen and my girl Arlene who's snappin pics...Sheeeet.. I think i'm done *Finishes off fruit punch*

If I forgot anybody...I'm sssssoo sorry. Hit me up on Facebook or Twitter me (Mayhemm09) for tha next one and I'll put you in tha mix. (For real,for real)

ONE LOVE.

Track 21 (This ish is hard)

2009-07-23T13:15:00.001-05:00

As I sit at tha "Stop and shop" for lunch ( It's a burrito. this is for you Taco Bell dog) I had a random thought about all of those who either write,sing,dance, perform etc. It takes a lot of guts, courage and downright insanity to want to share your talent wit' a world that's critical as shit.

I sometimes wonder what makes one decide, to get up one day and say "I want everybody in tha world to know I do this" Some may do it because Momma said they're tha best thing since sliced bread. Some may do it for tha monetary gain. Then some actually may do it for.....dare I say it.... for tha LOVE.

You have to rake yourself up into a nice, neat pile to get up in front of strangers and present yourself in a way that 1. People get a gist of where you're comin' from. 2. ENTERTAINING. Tha entertainin' part is always a bitch. Everybody has different tastes in what's entertainin' to them, so it's always hard to win some people over, as well keep others entertained.

That's where tha criticism sets in. Everybody at one point always feels like they can do better than some performers. Here's tha rub... If it's that easy to do it...how come you did'nt jump yo azz onto a stage or start typin' better shit hmmm? Before anyone renders any type of criticism, keep this in mind. No one got up that mornin' and said " I'm not gonna do my best" I would like to think that no matter what you do, you put your best foot forward.

To those that are only in this for tha money...good luck wit that dream. If you think people are tight wit money when it comes to personal finances, It's gonna be a super bitch to get them to part wit tha 15 dollars for your CD, or tha 30 dollar tickets for your tour. That's why tha people who do it for tha love, will always prosper. It's not tha fame or tha money It's tha sheer enjoyment of doin' what you do.

No matter what what you do to entertain others...Do it for tha love first. As for those that sit and pick apart what performers do, here's a thought for you. Can you, in all honesty to yourself put together a skill whether it's singin' dancin' writin' ( Tee Hee) Dj ing etc...and and have tha thick skin to let tha world see it, flaws and all. Hmm...

Hit me up. Let me know what cha think...Twitter me (Mayhemm09) or Facebook me.

Ya shoulda f**kin been there.

2009-07-20T07:00:00.003-05:00

Ooooweee...There are very few music genres that evoke such an emotion as House music. As i'm typin' this, I'll still gettin' over tha religious experince that was tha "I love house music Fridays" at Rev's (Revelations...see..religious) in Country Club Hills, Illinois.

Let me start off by sayin' that tha doors opened at 9, I got there at 11 (tryin' for that fashionably late entrance) and tha place was f**kin' packed already!!. Goin' in, it was nothin' but pure love of music and good times. Remember tha basement parties on tha block? Remember Mendel high school in Chicago in tha 80's ?Remember AKA's?(Let me stop before I pull somethin')

Tha music of tha nite was an eclectic, aggressive mix of rhythms that kept people on their feet. (jus' readin that, has yo azz wishin you were there.) Tha Dj's that nite are no strangers in movin a f**kin crowd (Mad love to Sundance Chi-town's tightest female Dj and Maurice Joshua and Lidell "NuNu"Townsell)

As for tha atmosphere, it was proper (They still say that S**t?!?) there was'nt a hint of bourgeoisie in tha room. Everybody was allowed to be themselves (Hell we all grew up together.) I saw friends from 20 to 30 years ago, still enjoyin' a style of music that Chi-town originated and EVERYBODY tried duplicating.

Now, there was some comedy, fo sho . OoooWeee I truly believe house music is tha only music that women can let their "INNER NASTY AZZ" out and its ok. One particular young (Heh) lady danced sooo low, I think I saw her C-section! (Yeah, read it again) And tha fellas....Word to tha wise...after a few Coronas, jus sit yo azz down! Also fellas not so many tight T-shirts next time. One guy's shirt was so tight, this mofo had a third nipple.(Stop me if I lie)

All in all tha nite was great. It was great to celebrate a movement of music that we can call our own. Hell, New York can have Hip Hop. Philly and Detroit can have Soul and R&B. But Chicago....Jus' gimme that HOUSE...MUSIC ALL NITE LONG.

Now, This party happens EVERY Friday at Revelations 18221 Pulaski in Country Club (CC Hills) Illinois. DON'T F**KIN MISS ANOTHER MOMENT! Long live tha movement...Lovg live tha fans. You make House a home.

Questions? Comments? Share yo experince? Facebook me or follow me on Twitter (mayhemm09) Sign up for either one (It's free don't be soo damn cheap) so you can give a play by play of this ish...MAD LOVE TO THA CLUBHOUSE GROUP AND MY DUDE HULA.

Last nite...Last nite changed it all....

2009-07-17T10:32:00.003-05:00

Y'all remember that song? yeah... ok... i'm tha only mofo on tha Internets that used it as a title. Well... I decided to venture out last nite. Mannn i'm tell ya... if you have'nt been out in a while and ain't used to stayin' up, it's a beeeotch to get up tha next day. Not to mention if you're not a drunk anymore (Tee Hee) last nite's little fun gonna cost ya (pleeease somebody help me find my motor skills)

I went to Shrine in Chi-Town.( niiice azz atmosphere) You can tell a brotha ain't been out in a while when you arrive at about 10 to 9 ( doors open at 9) I looked a cool azz Corky from "Life goes on".Anyhoo as I waited,I started doin' what's tha shit to do in tha Chi...people watch. Question..Why did tha security look like all they could do is out-eat me? If they did try and catch me for anything all I would have ta do is throw a Hot Pocket on tha floor ( They gotta see what they want more)

A little bit after 9 approached. As I made my way in, I did'nt know what to expect. Hell I ain't been out since....When was the Chicago fire when that cow got killed? Not to mention I have'nt drank anything since me and Amy Whinehouse and Lindsey Lohan Toilet Papered Robert Downey jr's crib back in...Sheeet i'm jus bullshittin. It was actually Heath Ledger's crib (Too soon )

But I was plesantly surprised. Note: THA MUSIC WAS OFF THA FRIGGIN CHAIN! ( That hurt to write because I screamed it) They played all tha hits of my youth ( Shut up) To my TRUE house heads...They did it justice. Tha nite's host was Eric Roberson. Dude kept it movin' during tha whole time, and he has vocals to boot. There were other acts as well. Chicago own Syrenn performed. They did "Hold on" by EnVogue (Don't trip they actually pulled dat shit off ) Last..But certainly not least I have to give it to my Brotha from another mutha DMo. I've known this cat since high school, I always knew he could sing...but sheeet the years have been great for this dude. His voice was was tha ish ( I'm a little bias but hey..) I gotta him thanks for tha show and thanks for being a great talent ( No Mancrush )

As for tha rest of tha nite, Sheeet I got tired at 12:30 so I went to Home Il. As I was drivin (Not drunk) home,a thought occured to me. It's good to be out and about wit like -minded people. enjoyin' good music and good times Maybe I'll try it again tonight. (@ Rev's in Country Club hills) I' ll let ya know Monday.

Questions? recommendations for places ta go? Facebook me or follow me on tha Twitter Mayhemm09. Now you's excuse me, That burrito is catchin up wit me from last nite. Last nite... Last nite Last nite changed it all.

Freestyle (Night-Sweats)

2009-07-15T07:00:00.002-05:00

Ya know this is Pretty deep to stop my ass from sleepin'. A thought occured to me that, jus' sayin it, makes ya uncomfortable. I could'nt go through my life without tha touch of a woman.

Hold up! Let's not dive into that part of tha pool yet. There are many ways women touch us. No one can nurture us like women. Women bring tha best out of ANY man! (Face it guys, we don't give them much to work with.) Ladies take it upon themselves to make sure you're raked into a nice,neat pile. They give you a security within yourself to face anything. Let's keep in mind that women have an aura that is sooo stealth, that once you do notice it, it brings you to the point of....uh...just fuckin wow!!!

Tha mind of a woman does'nt deal wit basics. It deals wit tha complex, tha angles, tha friggin futrue. And every once in a while... it deals wit tha surreal. A woman can sometimes put herself in some very hellish situations, only to rise above it. And....and...still have the strength to find love for our Monkey azzes.

Ohhh mannn.. Let's not forget tha essence of a woman. Her scent, her smile, her intelligence. Her ability to command your attention when she talks with you. Her ablility to make every part of you inner being feel alive. Most of all.... Her ability to make you say shit you would'nt tell a priest.

Does'nt matter how she's built, her intellectual stature reigns supreme. Hmm... I think i'm done for now (Thinkin' bout tha love of a woman) Fellas... you need to sing the praises of God's most beautifully sculpted creation.

More comments? more insight? Mo better? Twitter me @mayhemm09 or Facebook me.

Track 20 ( uplift, upward )

2009-07-13T07:00:00.001-05:00

*Sips Tahitian Treat fruit punch and takes a handful of Salt and Sour potato chips* It's been a long time, I should'nt have left you...without a good rant to...whatever man. That was my feeble attempt to be hip. What's up y'all. I took some time to rewind myself, get behind myself.(No reach around )

As I went into my little funk I realized something. There's nothin' like tha love of people, to bring you through any and all situations. I mean... shit... when tha world looks like it won't cut you a break, people, no matter how good or bad seem to always bring out tha best in you.

When you reflect on life, you sometimes utter tha phrase, " There's always somebody who's got it worse" That phrase itself motorvates you,to be better than your situation dictates.When you observe tha human condition, it gives ya such a rush,to help others and be a better person. Even when it comes to tha bad in people, Those incidents make us rise to tha occasion,of being tha best. When you think about it, people around you can bring you out of your funk.

Now if your funk goes on a lot longer than it should, Go get yo azz some help.( There's nothin' wrong wit meds. Sheeeet... If you got some extra, you got my E-mail) Also never stop communicating wit people around you NO MATTER WHAT! Who knows, those people may end up saving your sanity.

Aiight enough of tha Tony Robbins ish. Time to get back to what I do best....makin' you somewhat uncomfortable (Tee Hee)

Want more of some of this life? Twitter me (no sex game) @ mayhemm09 and let's not forget Facebook. I wanna hear from ya.

Track 19 ( Rants Reloaded )

2009-07-06T07:00:00.007-05:00

Is tha weekend over al-friggin -ready?!? *Sips on left over blueberry Kool-Aid* Well...It has been a good one. Good food, Good music, somewhat funky weather, but all in all it was very...er....entertaining.

With that said, this is a rant with no rhyme or reason. This is a series of statements, questions and in no particular order. So heeeere we gooooo.

Is it me or did I hear more Ambulances this holiday? Why do holidays as well as your days off, go by soooo fast? There's nothin like tha smell of BBQ and burned fireworks. (Yummy) How come every kid I came across this weekend could'nt do basic math, but knew tha words to "Do tha stanky leg"? When I see anybody doin' that one dance move from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video, they always look like they're movin boxes (Watch tha video)

To tha mother who let her child run around with no diaper and just a Nascar (Jeff Gordon...natch) shirt on, and drinkin soda out of his bottle,Let's try steering him towards a life that his home does'nt have to be on wheels hmm? ladies... If you're going to wear those "Booty shorts" in public, 1. Shave! Don't try this look if you're sportin' a Mulberry bush. 2. If you wear ish like that, you're obviously goin' for a particular effect. Don't get upset if you get that attention that's sometimes annoying.

Fellas...If you live anywhere that's pot hole infested, why bother puttin any type of 22'/23' rims on ya car? ya kinda lose cool points when you can't even go tha friggin speed limt. As for fashion fellas....ya reeeally can't call out somebody's manhood and you're wearin sneakers that look like you stepped in Starbursts.

Is it a style for little Mexican girls to wear "Church" dresses and Soccer shoes? To tha two Irish gentlemen that tried to race me on tha expressway. Is'nt tha "Fast and the Furious" played out?!? And, don't you have a barfight to get to?

Ahh...much better. Like I said, it still was a good holiday. I'm sure as tha Summer progresses....mannnn.. I'll have more ish.

ONE LOVE.

Freestyle (Summer huh? )

2009-07-02T17:04:00.002-05:00

Ya know... as I sit here and watch "Enter tha Dragon" sippin' on my Tahitian Treat Fruit punch,a thought occurred to me. Fourth of july ain't what it used to be.

Remember the very thought of blowin' some ish up,was all you needed to get up that day. Tha bbq, tha family coming over, tha liquor flowin' to tha point,you knew some harmless (Although embarassin' ) ish was goin' to happen. (Like tha time my uncle thought he could be Dr.J. And he ended up needin a doctor.)All in all,It was a good time had by all. And tha fireworks....mannn tha fireworks....sheeeeet.

Now, with tha money troubles, weird azz weather, and of course...we just don't know how to act any friggin more, we don't enjoy like we used to.

Well this holiday change that ish!!!! Go out get some food, get some drink, get some (Fill in tha blank)!!!! but make sure you make some contact with friends and family.Also use some damn REAL fireworks!!! Not jus' lil Dayron's sparklers, some M80's, Cherry bombs, hell, Go yer hands on tha ish they use in third world countries. ( Adult supervision required )

So whatever you do, Make this fourth a great one and let me know how it goes.

Twitter me (no sex ish ) @ mayhemm09 and Facebook me (Not on tha first date)

Freestyle..(Random thought)

2009-06-30T07:00:00.002-05:00

What's good guys? It's been a roller coaster of emotions these last couple of days. In tha days past, tha world has lost people that were endearing to them. Farrah Fawcett,Michael Jackson and Billy Mays. All left us too soon. All three left lasting impressions upon this planet. And all three made us do something that we rarely do, even though we are confronted wit this everyday. These people made us think about our own mortality.

I know for me, when hearing of Farrah Fawcett's death I felt an immediate saddness. The most I knew of her situation, was what the media portrayed and her T.V. special I saw a couple of weeks ago. And the moment I found out, My first thought was for what her family was feelin'. Then as I was playin' that thought out in my head, tha next bombshell went off. Michael Jackson was rushed to tha hospital. My heart sank because, even at tha beginnin' of tha coverage, it did'nt sound well.

In the end, tha world had lost a beloved entertainer. People around tha world started gasping for air at tha loss of these two very iconic and influential people. Then, a day later, tha world felt tha loss of Billy Mays. T.V. pitchman who had tha ability to sell you anything, and personality in abundance.

Much of tha coverage has focused on Michael Jackson. Tha tributes, tha B.E.T. awards, MTV and the like. As much as tha media has covered these tragedies this weekend, it has made some of us start to think of, when its our time. We have all, at one point had that thought of how we would die but, most important for some, will we be missed.

As tha weekend progressed tha range of emotions I've experienced have ranged from sadness, feelin' lost , to thinkin about when my demise may arrive. Don't get me wrong, I did'nt ponder this ish, but it was a question. How many can be as loved in tha numbers as these people were? As much as people ridiculed Michael Jackson, There were those same people with heartfelt sadness.

I guess after all the emotions have played out tha only thing that is left is to pick up and move on and live life. The questions will always be there, but let's work through them. Also.....ya ready......wait for it......CELEBRATE EACH DAY YOU'RE HERE!!! (did tha back row here dat?) don't let what's gonna happen cloud what could happen. DON'T TAKE ANYTHING OR ANYONE FOR GRANTED!!! from this moment on, say "I love you" to as many people as you can. Let's not wait til someone leaves this earth to show then ya love them.

And keep also in mind, EVERYONE we lose is special!!! not just those in tha public eye. When your time comes ( And it will ) Know that you are loved, and you have loved.

Track 18. (Open letter to...)

2009-06-26T07:00:00.002-05:00

What's good my friends! (I know...why so chipper huh? ) Well.... I guess this is the part of my so called therapy that I make a breakthrough. trust me when I tell you, this is a breakthrough for your azz here. As I have gone on my journey of life ( Sooo friggin Hemmingway huh? ) I have lost touch with those that i've met along the way.

I never was good at keeping up with tha people, that have influenced me throughout my life. The people I knew from high school, as well as tha people i've encountered up until now, have been somehow lost along tha way. But that has changed this week. I talked to one old classmate of mine (via Facebook. I'm startin' to embrace this new fangled technology.) we chatted about the old times of course, as well as catchin' up on everybody else. I realized something as I chatted wit her.

I've been stooopid ( Don't spellcheck me mofos I know. I be educated. ) All this time the very thing I miss, has ALWAYS been here. NOTHIN' BEATS THA LOVE OF GREAT PEOPLE!!! The people I know from high school, all tha way to my ole neighborhood are tha people that love me, regardless of tha things I do.

I need to let everyone know that in order to become great, something greater influences you. ( Deep ish huh?.... Too much Cherry Juicy Juice. ) To me that something greater are my friends and family. Almost overnight, my Facebook page has blown up ( no sex doll ) The very people that have propelled me to have tha courage to put my life out here for all to see, are suddenly back in my life.

I make this promise to them as I type this open letter. I will keep in touch. I will be there when you call. I will listen to anything and everything you have to say. I want my friends back. People like this only come around once in a lifetime. For me I feel like I got a second chance.

Also to my teachers and mentors that are readin' this now. Thank you soooo much. You gave me tha tools to put a voice to my art (Man... I gotta lay off tha Juicy Juice )

For those just tuning in..... Go forth and find those played a positive influence in your life.... who knows it may lead to your second chance.

Now... let's ALL keep in touch! Follow a brother on Twitter (MAYHEMM09) also Facebook me ( No nastiness ) matt.lloyd3 I hate to sound like those e-mails you get but..... Pass this along ( tee hee ) I LOVE YOU ALL ONE LOVE.

Track 17. (Public service announcement )

2009-06-23T07:00:00.003-05:00

Testing 1,2,...testing 1,2,...what's good people? I wanted to drop a line to say..ONE LOVE (Always) and to let you guys know tha summer is in effect.(D'oh ) No matter where ya live, what color you are, or your sensability, you still could be a contributing factor in tha alert level escalating.

No i'm not talkin' about tha terrorist alerts (sheeet, that's tha easy one ) tha alerts i'm referring to are the Coonery,Beanery,Douchebaggery alerts. (C.B.D.) Understand, everyone's included. (except Asians/Chinese, ya NEVER see them on "Cops" ) NO RACIST DAMMIT. As it gets hotter tha days become more uncomfortable. let's keep in mind that we all don't do well in heat. Despite us negro folk coming from some hot regions and my hispanic bretheren, coming from some cookin' some Chorizo on a rock regions we don't do well (white folks you're a toss up. upper/middle class do well,poor white trash, not so much. )

No matter where ya from, if tha day reaches 90 or above, sometimes tha wrong decisions are made.We sometimes let our emotions guide us down a f#$@ed up path. We as people have to learn restraint this summer. In a time where the respect for life is at a low, we gotta stop contributing to the statistics.

I guess my point basically is.....PUT THA FRIGGIN GUNS DOWN!!! (I know I gotta stop shoutin' but s#$@! ) I don't give a s#$% about fist fights, you can walk away from those. But you can't walk away from bein' shot or stabbed. Its gotten to tha point where kids can't play on a friggin block no more.

To those stumbling across this rant and think this is not about them...fine. To those who actually had tha nerve to say f@#& you to this....guess what... this song is about you.

Let's keep tha alerts down to fashion and debauchery, not destruction.

For a play by play of tha alert levels Follow me on Twitter (MAYHEMM09) It's free. also hit me up to give me your status. No matter what happens....ONE LOVE.

WTF????? This Artist Is DEAD AZZ WRONG For Doing Our Boy JIGGA Like This!!! - MediaTakeOut.com™ 2009

2009-06-19T16:56:00.003-05:00

WTF????? This Artist Is DEAD AZZ WRONG For Doing Our Boy JIGGA Like This!!! - MediaTakeOut.com™ 2009

Track 16. (Random Mind Wander)

2009-06-19T07:00:00.005-05:00

YoooHooo it's friday! Man it has been that kind of week. Just a series of random ish that's been interestin' and would make ya say....WHAT THA?!? From tha personal, to tha current events its been a friggin trip.

Let's start wit' tha Swine/H1N1 flu. Question: They can come up wit several types of penis pills, pills for depression and even a vaccine for just about anything. But they figure out how to treat this "Super Cootie"?!? what tha... THEN North Korea decides they want to launch ish towards Hawaii. Hawaii is like that cool ass cousin that does'nt eff wit nobody. How do you eff wit' those who aint effin' wit you?(Don't have them TIE that lai around ya neck) Oh yeah, I suppose PETA is reeally hard up for spokespeople (since Pamela Anderson went all...uh...what's tha techincal term....ah poor white trash ish) So they let Andy Dick step up and take tha reigns. Hey Michael Vick is'nt doin' ish right now (just sayin' you would've had a bigger draw than tha guy from....uh....uh.....er...er...oh yeah Newsradio)

Let's not forget tha IPhone......Movin' tha F**K along. As for tha personal end, It astounds me to see people judge others,on everything from looks to lifestyle. Here's a secret ladies (Fellas don't you friggin leave, you're next) Ladies, here's tha truth....There's no such thing as a ugly woman physically.(Shut up guys let me explain) Now tha only thing that could make a woman ugly to me is her attitude. If her attitude is stank, then it relfects upon the physical. If her attitude is positive then she's radiant.

Now for tha fellas. (ladies stick around,it funny) Now fellas here's your thought for tha day: you can achieve sooo much more wit' the opposite sex if you do one thing.......you guys ready.....wait for it....wait for it...JUST DON'T TALK SO DAMN MUCH!!! A woman has ALREADY decided within 5, count em' 5 minutes of meetin' ya ass if you get any more of her time. The more you contribute to tha coversation and not dictate, the more you got a shot.

As for tha Lifestyle aspect, two words: DO YOU. you're tha one who has to live wit' you. You're tha planet, we're just in ya orbit.

That felt great!!! I know, I know a little lengthy but rants have no structure, ryhme or reason. Drop me a line we'll be even. ONE LOVE.

Please Follow this rant on tha Twitter (mayhemm09) or Facebook me (no nastiness) I need tha company.

For tha stressed out. (Interlude)

2009-06-18T07:00:00.004-05:00

I was catchin' up on tha latest in tha news (o.k. tha Television section but I skimmed tha rest ) and I found a really disturbin' trend. It seems that for most of us going through tryin' times, we get tha notion not to stick around, to see how those times work out. Suicide seems to be tha choice that most are choosing.

Now i'm not gonna rattle off statistics and graphs, and all that other ish that would show that I have a modicum of intelligence. Eff that. ( I only have 30 minutes for lunch ) I'm not goin' to get into all tha religious aspects of it either. What I will touch upon is somethin' a lot of people need to believe, once they start havin these thoughts: S**T GETS BETTER!!! And...uh..NOTHIN' IS THAT FRIGGIN BAD!!!

Now i'm not gonna sit here and act like I know every facet of your life. But take it from a guy wit' a dead end azz job, TWO count em' two sick parents, and a host of insecurities and everyday ish. I should've overdosed on Flintstones chewables ( That's right I probably could'nt get suicide right either ) long ago.

Look this ain't no PSA. I'm just tellin you that WHATEVER you're goin through, just talk to somebody. ( Hell, e-mail or Twitter me ) People don't have to solve what's goin' on wit' you, but they can listen. Sometimes just talkin' to someone, tha answer to what you're goin' through is clearer. You gotta keep yourself in tune to yourself. You are the only one that can make YOU better. Besides if you need help (REAL therapy. Not my blue collar ish. ) that's not a bad thing. Just stick around will ya? some of us care.

As for those who thrive on seeing others fall...EFF EM'. sticking around is tha best revenge.

As I said, if need someone to listen or even laugh wit ( no singles ad! ) Twitter me @ mayhemm09 or Facebook (look right) I'm not a certified therapist but, listenin' and typin' don't cost shit.

Track 15 ( Get on board )

2009-06-15T12:04:00.005-05:00

I realized somethin' this past weekend. Either i've settled on tha maturity train and ridin' confortably or i'm gettin' old. The reason i've come to this conclusion is that the weekends are'nt what they used to be.

You remember on a Friday you could'nt wait to get out, and spend what little paycheck you had, on tha' sin and debauchery of your choice. (Mine was food and booze,not in that order) Now it seems that tha older you get, tha more "reserved" you become. Trust me that statement is'nt for all that are boarding the maturity train. Some of us still think we can drink wit' tha best of them, dance wit the best of them, and fellas as for tha young thang you're always tryin to catch, you are two words to her:FINANCIAL STABLITY. Ladies will always have better luck catchin' young talent. Trouble is, that talent is sometimes as old as tha NEW pair of shoes you've jus brought,and like those pair of shoes, gotta get broken in somehow.

Do we really have time to keep this ish up? Some of us need to come to grips with two things. 1. All of tha ish of tryin' to find that special someone in a club or lounge setting ain't happenin' 2. After a while, that whole scene of clubbing/lounging at any age,gets old. We all at one point have to except our tickets to the maturity train. Tha question is when.

Track 14 ( Why is that...)

2009-06-12T07:36:00.001-05:00

Hot damn it's Friday! Aiight here we go. I'm not gonna get all thought provokin' and ish ( yyyeah I am ) What i'm gonna do is shoot off random questions and maybe, as I ask these questions I may actually answer some. I got a lot of ish I need clarification on. So grab a iced-mocha frappy-sappy-grande-whatever the hell it is (Remember just friggin Coffee?!?) and let's ride.

When did morning radio become all about s**ty relationships,nasty-ass contests and energy that none of us have that friggin early? When did radio become a continuous loop of coonery,beanery and douchebaggery tunes? You notice tha "rich people" around us, are more careful to show us how rich they are? You ever notice tha only people flaunting their riches are rappers that CAN'T rap? When did adoptin' brown babies from somewhere else become chic? How can someone be famous for doin' NOTHIN? How can someone just arrive into this country and open up anything everywhere? (No racist)

How is that tha people that are tryin' to keep immigrants out, are not originally from here? How come we put so much into one man to change tha world, rather than WE take on tha task of doin' so? When did some of us give up on our kids? When did gettin old become a bad thing? When did it become fashionable to hurt women? When was it acceptable for a man to be content to just exist?

Why won't we take more chances? Why won't we change tha things we can change and adapt to tha things we can't? Why don't we love more? Why don't we kill less? and so on... and so on. These are tha questions that i'm sure we answer, but tha answers vary. Tha important thing is keep askin' new ones. keeps us human.

More Questions? follow me on Twitter. I believe I can help.

ONE LOVE.

Track 13. (Realest ish i've wrote...so far)

2009-06-09T13:29:00.019-05:00

As I sit here putting together my thoughts ( yeah I know, good luck right?) I believe I've just had the most solid breakthrough of my therapy so far. Bottom line.. I really could give two s**ts what people think about me. I have decided that you can't please anybody, let alone everybody.

When I started writing this life for all to see, I knew there would be a fair amount of criticism.I just was'nt prepared for all tha "what ifs". What if people read it and don't like it ? What if someone who knows me sees this? What if people start to judge me differently? Truth of tha matter is, I started this project because I needed to put my ideas and feelings somewhere, so I did'nt end up as a damn statistic.So It was'nt to become famous, or tha bullshit trappings of any of that. I need to give my emotions a voice.

I know those that know me or have known me, will say it's all bullshit ( you notice i'm spellin' out tha cusswords. Hmm controversial ) Look, Let's get this out tha way.... I'M F**KIN HUMAN! GET IT?!? yes, I've hurt people. Yes, I've cheated on girlfriends, Yes i've done some other shit, fit for cable. But it's tha better man who can admit what he's done and accept, than to go through life with denial and never change. I have started to put my best foot forward for obtaining piece of mind. I believe this is a good start.

I will continue to give my soul a place to talk. ( Name a mofo that would put his soul out there to be disected.) But, if someone does read this and takes something from it, or it helps one person, it would be like Christmas for me.

As for those with a negative point of view of me or the writing, Before you can judge, look inward first And tell me.... Do you have the stones to put your OWN life out here for all to see. Yeah, I did'nt friggin think so.

On a happy-ass note, Hey follow on Twitter (mayhemm09) It's friggin interesting. Also facebook is tha ish. ONE LOVE. ( hell yeah i'll shout that! )

I

Track 12 ( It's a family affair )

2009-06-07T21:11:00.014-05:00

Why does tha weekend always seems like it's on fast friggin' foward? For tha first time in a while, I did something constructive and fun. I actually hung out wit' my family...... no i'm not writin' this in a lock-up, or 72 hour psyche hold. To tell tha truth, it opened my eyes to what should've been tha obvious.

For sometime I always had a weird, but loving way about my family. Sure everybody has family that they're close to, estranged from or downright disown. But at some point you either forgive, or remain tha stubborn SOB, I know you to be. Me, being a potential short bus candidate, (Get over it if offended) I don't have enough sense to continue, my "blinders on attitude" wit my family. So I decided to head out to a get-together, to gain insight on why we may not communicate as much as we should.

After arriving there and started the "ice breakin" talk, I realized why we were'nt as tight as we should be. A lot of it is because of tha basic "don't" of communication, DON'T LISTEN TO HE SAY, SHE SAY, EVEN IF IT'S FAMILY! *pauses* sips Zoloft milkshake. We kept our walls up due to tha rumors and speculation, people do in family. Of course I don't have tha sense, God gave a billy goat so I dived into tha task, of dispelling the rumors and tension. After a couple of hours, I believe it was a sort of therapy for some,to get what was on tha mind off.

And it was'nt this "Dr Phil meets Intervention" s**t, but it was sooo good to watch MY family be themselves. Usually everybody tries watch what they say, this time it was on and poppin. (caucasians please consult your closest black friend for translation) The warm part is we are actually are excited,to be in each other's lives now. Now your lesson is this,....let tha petty s**t go about your family. Let all those preconceived notions you have about them, go as well.

Life is too short to not hold your family, closer than you have been. In a weird turn of events, I just got word that my Aunt who I haven't seen in a while, has fallen ill. Just think if I would've continued down tha path of dumbassness, I never would've found out. After readin' this (if you skimmed it, go back up top mofo) Take time and call ( no e-mail, no text or twitter) anyone or everyone you can catch up wit' in your family. Trust me, you are not alone.

P.S. My family has taught me to be fearless. soooo hope you like tha new picture. I told you I have a face that only boxers play wit'. Thanks to tha family for tha spirit to write this.

Track 11. ( It's Friday already?)

2009-06-05T05:32:00.007-05:00

Yeahh!! YooooHoo! it's Friday babyyy!!*starts doin' robot dance* Now that i've found my Xanax smoothie, let me be realistic about my, oh so friggin' exciting Friday. For most Friday is tha spring board into tha sin and debauchery, that is tha weekend. For those of us that started sinnin' early in life....er..uh... not sooo much.

Given tha state of tha world today,tha economic climate, and tha very high douchebaggery,coonery,and beanery levels ( oh yeah mofos I covered everybody!) goin' out ain't what it used to be. It's not enough that you have to look a certain way for tha club life, but s**t, I gotta pay almost a mortgage, and 10% of a car note, to get a descent buzz. (happy endin' sold separately) I'm sorry but why would I pay to go out and possibly socialize with tha above mentioned levels, when usually some ish breaks out, and ruins a night of possibilities. ( S**t!! who's kiddin' who, possibilities was in your 20's, now you'll be lucky if Cinemax is showin' sumthin wit tha word NAKED in tha title)

Then there's dating,.....That's for another Friday. Which leads me to tha number one passtime for most people, tha internets!!! It's safe, it's convenient, hell.. you can play drinkin' games online! ( for you mofos... seek help ) It lacks tha true human interaction, but you can control tha levels of douchebaggery,coonery,and beanery. As for tha possibilities, you will friggin' hurt yourself!!(Name sumthin that is'nt nekked on tha net'. R.I.P. Cinemax)

Still, everybody needs some human interaction. Go out somewhere whether it's errands or entertainment, do sumthin'. Mingle among us and learn sumthin'. For some of us staring down 40, practice moderation wit' whatever ya do. You may look like you need to be on "To catch a predator" if you're still tryin' to deal wit' tha' young-uns.And young-uns, be f***in more careful. Too many of ya are takin' this party s**t too friggin' far ( moderation mofos. ..look it up)

Now if you'll excuse me... I need to do that search for anythin' wit tha' word nekked in it ( Hmm..what's this...2 gurls 1 cup...sounds...ewwww)

Want some company? ( no sex ad ) Follow me on Twitter. mayhemm09. Also Facebook me. Stay tuned for more of my ramblin'

Track 10. ( U BE U DAMMIT )

2009-06-03T04:18:00.005-05:00

I believe I just had a friggin' breakthrough! ( however an odd one) Throughout my my self imposed therapy sessions of writin'these thoughts down, I actually had concerns about how I would be percieved.

Everybody at one point or another, is concerned about what people will think. Whether it's family or friends, as much as you say ya really don't care. Ya just don't to appear too needy,creepy or... what's tha technical term... oh yeah... crazy as cat shit!!! But I've learned sumthin' during my little ramblings, tha truth is that I really don't care. ( Wow! there I said it!)

Here's the reasoning behind it. It takes along time for anybody, to be comfortable in their own skin. Even at knockin' on tha door of 40 (yeah I know...right) you gotta check yourself everyday. Being comfortable with yourself, will allow you to say and do those things that, at one point will keep you in great spirits mentally. Sometimes, you just gotta say and do what's exactly on your mind. No matter how others may percieve it.

We all at one point want to be accepted, by family, by friends, hell... even by people we don't even know. But, until you satisfy yourself mentally no one is gonna accept what you put out there. My breakthrough is, to hell with a person's perceptions of me! No one has walked, or has tried to walk in my shoes. I really can say I don't care, do to the fact that, i'm puttin' these rants on the friggin' internets!!!

Yeahhh...startin' to click now huh? I don't care if this is'nt the "blogging" style that should or should not be used. I don't give a s**t about bein' "discovered" ( would be nice though, but I only have a face for radio) As for my family, this is tha first time i've ever let them in on a project like this. Once this catches on, ( if ever) It will be a matter of time before there will be some things said, positive and negative.

It does'nt matter what's said. I (That's who counts) feel better when these thoughts come off my heart. And if these rants help someone goin' through sum s**t, that's tha greatest complement! So, do what cha first mind, tells ya to do. people have to accept you, for you. It will contribute to your piece of mind.

I figure like this... I could either be on tha internets puttin' all of my business out there, to learn from and possibly help, OR... I could be on tha internets as a police blotter or a headline that starts with..."mentally unstable man" (fill in tha tragedy).

Need someone to vent to? need someone to follow to make you feel better about your life? well... ya got me on Facebook, e-mail, and this ish called Twitter. mayhemm09. Find me we'll work life out tha old fashioned way, by just doin' it.

Track 9. ( Don't get all weepy on me...)

2009-06-02T12:06:00.007-05:00

As I am in the produce aisle of tha "Stop and Shop", I had to stop to drop you this line. It could be the smell of the beets goin bad, or that "old man storm's a brewin'" thing I got but, I just wanted you to know that...... YOU FRIGGIN MATTER!!!!!!!

I know, I know i'm shoutin' again. (Mental note: increase Zoloft to "rainman" dosage) I just have this feelin' that some of you, don't know how much you matter to this world. We all have that recurring thought, about what tha world would be like if we jus' disappear. Well let me tell ya.... It would'nt be as interestin' or radiant.

Look, I know tha s**t sounds sappy, but it's tha truth. Ya gotta realize that, as much as you need to be around, other people depend on you as well. They may not articulate it, but they do. Bottom line, tha world looks, feels and errrr...uhhh.... smells better with you in it.

( Try Beano for that gas thing, and we'll talk)

Aight, i've done my Tony Robbins impression for tha day. Stay safe. Also give me sum feedback. Ya see tha e-mail address. What do ya want me to say? thoughts? Don't forget...this is my therapy. To hear from others, helps and heals all.

Ohhhh... yeah.... catch me on tha Twitter thingy. ( jus sign up it's friggin' free.) mayhemm09.

Track 8. ( I feel an attack comin' on..)

2009-05-31T14:33:00.008-05:00

Why is it that when you slow down and catch up with yourself, the thoughts that you try to avoid, creep right tha hell up? It seems that every fear, every insecurity and every piece of bad intent, seems to take up residence in your head. Now, tha more you continue to think along those lines, the more it consumes you.

These thoughts have now moved from tha mind to becomin' negative actions. From drinkin', to medication (legal and illegal) we try to silence those thoughts.The truth is... there is only one way to confront those thoughts, OPEN YOUR FRIGGIN MIND TO A SOLUTION!

Sorry to yell but, we try too hard to avoid those things that need to be dealt with head f***in on. The more you accept these thoughts for what they are, the more you will find a healthier solution than drinkin' and drugs. Take it from me, a guy that thought Mescaline could make s**t go away. But after tha buzz left (and I woke up in my car drivin 90.... naked ) my s**t was still s**t.

Trust me i'm up to my waist in caca, but , I'm learnin' through even writin' this that there's other ways to cope. Bottom line you gotta open a dialogue with yourself. You can try the drugs (legal preferred) but ya system may not take too well. Drinkin'....need I say more. You're gonna do, What you wanna do regardless.

All I ask is be true to yourself. NOTHIN IS THAT BAD!!!!! had to holla that one so tha people who only understand s**t when it's bein' screamed at them understand. Oh f**k it, it's for you too. With love.

*Pauses* sips Tahitian Treat fruit punch and says.....Follow me on Twitter mayhemm09.... more interestin' ish.

Track 7. (Hear the pain in my voice right...)

2009-05-31T11:05:00.008-05:00

For those of us that have the daunting task of caring for our parents,at the stage of their lives where they may be the most vunerable, the task can be.... it can be... ok it can be a bitch.

I can't speak for your situation, but with many people i've talked to, the experience can range from humbling to tedious to damn near lookin' for a shovel and lime (no I have not....today) Speakin' from experience, it wears you down sometimes to keep someone else's affairs in order. You barely can keep your s**t straight, let alone the health and welfare of those, that still have to a point, a say in their own lives.

The thing that chaffes my azz, is the criticism that's heaved upon you by some parents. look, I hear you on the arguement that "it's just the aging talkin". But s**t, with aging must come with a great friggin' memory, because they seem to remember every screw up and f**k up, you have EVER been a part of. Sheeesh.

Then, then there's the mood swings. And i'm not talkin' bout any type of mental illiness. I'm talkin' bout the "i'm so proud of you to why can't do better" phase. To some, it seems like i'm bashing. But, i'm willing to bet a week's pay at tha "Stop and Shop" that i'm not alone.

Look,I love my parents with all of my everything. It's just that no one is ever prepared for takin' care of a another grown person, let alone two. but this is tha circle of life. If you are fortunate to live as long as your parents, someone whether it's your children or someone else, will have to do the same for you.

So I guess the moral of my therapy is, use the experience as an exercise in patience. Also after all that's said and done, your parents, as much as they grind the nerves, the wisdom that they share is priceless.

Now, get back in there and listen of how you should've invested in that, or should've married (your ex-loser's name here) Just know when tha time comes, you'll wish for these times back.

P.S!!!!! cheer up buttercup follow me on Twitter. mayhemm09. I need tha company.

Track 6.(Talkin bout church folks..)

2009-05-30T20:13:00.006-05:00

Let tha chuuurch say.... let me stop. Had to get this one off my chest. As you go out to or have come back from, your place of worship, jus remember why you go to worship. If i'm correct you go to get your praise on, not yo fashion show on, or gossip girl on, or "deacon Jones tryin' to a find a new wife on".

All i'm tryin to say is tha more you engage in petty azz jealousy,gossip and using tha church as a singles mixer, you are blockin your own blessings. let's try sumthin different huh? Let us actually LISTEN to the sermon. Let's take sumthing out of the message, other than you thinkin' you can take Sister Jones out hmmm?

Wit this being said, Let's learn sumthin on sundays. It's tha day of rest, but i'm sure that god was still alert and listenin'

By tha wayyy FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER!!!!mayhemm09 So I can have company :)

Track 5. (Friday's reflection pool)

2009-05-29T11:49:00.003-05:00

Hi ho people! thank god it's Friday up in this biznitch. (how ethnic huh?)Well, as I started puttin' together my thoughts for this one, I believe the best approach for what I have to say to say is to be blunt. BE FRIGGIN THANKFUL DAMMIT!!!! Ahhh, they heard me throughout the "Stop and Shop".

Everybody is goin' through sumthing. Whether it's bills, car troubles, or the relationshits (see other post) you got sumthing on ya plate. But whatever it is ya gotta believe that its gonna get better! Also, s**t could be worse. Take it from a guy who works at tha "Stop and Shop" .The kids on those Save tha children ads get paid more than me. ( and i'm a college graduminate)

On top of that I'm at that age where, I care for BOTH of my parents. Yeah at some point you will face, or have faced what i'm goin through. On the other hand, I know my s**t could've been worse, I could be Spencer Pratt. (come on.... I'm not playin)

So as you venture out amongst us this weekend, jus know that SOMEBODY does care, and SOMEBODY will always have it worse. But keep ya friggin head up.

If ya reeeeeallly want to feel better about yo life... follow my azz (no homo) on Twitter. My life could be sum theraputic shit.

Track 3. (I got issues)

2009-05-25T19:47:00.002-05:00

As I sit here drinkin my Tahitian Treat fruit punch, (yes, it's a real beverage) a thought occurred to me, about my new journey into the internets. I'm already riding the fine line of contradiction. I'm on the internets, sprewing forth my life,opinions and other facets under a another name.

How many times have you read an opinion,or some other jibberish from another party, and its under a nickname, or some user name s**t?. I understand to a certain extent, why people protect their idenities. With all the...what's the technical term....oh yeah, idiot ass mofos out there,one has to take precautions to keep these idiots in their momma's basement only. (don't get it twisted, i'm in mom's guestroom. I'm bourgeois that way)On the other hand, if you're if you have the testicular fortitude to say it, then ride the wave with ya real name.

Ok, ok I'll compromise. I'll still continue my bullshit, but, I'll give you part of my name. You can never say I don't practice what I preach. So the next time you post something, if you're going to use those god-awful nicknames like "balls deep" or "pornostarr1" (fellas can you say inadequate penis) or "sexy"or "pretty" or "thick"(ladies can you say ya'll need a hug) hell, even Mayhemm09. Dat shit sounds like A. some "Worlds of Warcraft" s**t. B. I sing in a Slipknot tribute band. My name's Matt what's your's?

Track 2.(could'nt sleep)

2009-05-24T23:44:00.002-05:00

Aiight, I know I said I was going to make my debut on June 8th, but shit, I could'nt sleep so here I am. Anywhoo, I must be in a world of weird to choose this particular forum, to help myself. If you're lookin for some thought provoking ish, take yo ass to Huffington Post or those other strong scented opinion forums.

My shit is strictly from tha heart. I write for theraputic purposes, not for tha shock value. Yes I have opinions, but like assholes everybody has one. Mine are tapered with sometimes funny shit. Ok, come on would you rather read about the same celebrity train wrecks, or of someone who walks among you, going through the same ish you are, if not more. So if you think your life is complicated, in disarray on just that f***ked up.... please tune in. Its cheaper than those doctors on WebMD. My shit is'nt Chaucer, it just flows.

If ya curiosity is piqued, then follow me on Twitter as well. (mayhemm09) Damn, a grown ass man even typing Twitter is wrong. Well, this is what you get when you listen to Eminem's song "beautiful" too many times in a weekend. Tune in on Mondays,Wednesdays and Fridays to see if i'm makin any breakthoughs or slippin even further. Who knows maybe, in a jedi mind trick way you can help yourself. Don't forget tha Twitter. Til then.........

Memorial Day thoughts....

2009-05-22T17:03:00.004-05:00

Sumthin to ponder over. As Memorial day rolls around, we are in tha mode of paying tribute to those soldiers who have given their lives across the way. As this Memorial day rolls in let's pay tribute to those soldiers who have died on our own soil. From the cops who take it to tha line everyday, to firefighters who runs towards danger, not away. Also a special yell out to the small soldiers, our children that have died, in pursuit of that education.

Track 1.

2009-05-22T12:42:00.005-05:00

Here is what you will find from me. there's no specific political shit. There's no hidden agendas or bias. What I want and need to do is, to convey my thoughts and ideas with people, Yeah you guessed it... it's cheap ass therapy. I need this so I can function in everyday friggin society. And if you have read this far, you may need the same thing. So tune in every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for some ranting and other shit that keeps you riveted. By the way..... you can use me as therapy too. we'll get it right.