Maybe it's the Haloperidol wearin'off, or tha 6 pack of Tecate I took wit tha Haloperidol, but I got some itchy sh!t on tha brain. These are'nt in any particular order. This is...ahh eff it. Enjoy.
#Random: Fellas..Have you ever cut one finger off your suede gloves, put it on your penis and pretend you bought your penis a suede pull over? (Works wit leather too. It's more chic.)
#Random: I once dated a woman, who was a Vegan. While havin' lunch one day she stated "Don't kiss me after you eat that hamburger. I can't stand that meat taste" Now, I don't have a problem wit that. BUT, I had just chimney swept her Va Jay Jay wit my tongue, and kissed her afterwards. BUT, she had a problem wit me havin' cheeseburger breath?!?
#Random: Who's gonna take care of all tha caucasian babies, if they come up wit new laws to keep brown folks out of tha country? See...Black folks did it for tha first couple of centuries, now its time for us, to pass tha torch to tha brown folks.
#Random: Am I tha only one that Masturbates, and gets a "Ice Cream Headache/ Brain freeze" sometimes?
#Random: Why do some of the american people confuse our president wit bein' a male version of "Glenda tha good Witch" from The Wiz?!? Look, he can only do so much. Sure..He's gonna make some miscues. And sure, he's gonna have some success. BUT.. stop thinkin' he's gonna appear to you phucks and say "Click ya heels 3 times, and this sh!t is over"
#Random: I think me and Rodney Allen Rippy were separated at birth. (Google him children.) If so, I want some of that "Jack In The Box" money sonnnn!!!
#Random: Ya ever notice that, if some people have to show you what they do, they must not be that good at it in tha first place? (Yeah...i'm on that Socrates sh!t today sonnn...)
#Random: Why do some women ride that fine line between prostitution and relationship nowdays? (Send all "Phuck You" mail to mayhemm09@gmail.com )
#Random: Why are people so brave when e-mailin'/textin' etc...but can't pick up the damn phone (When applicable) and communicate?!?
#Random: Fellas have you ever just asked for a hand job, only because you knew gettin' anything else would require too much work?
#Random: Ladies..Have you ever gave a guy some tail, just to shut his azz up?
#Random: I went to see a friend's kid in a high school musical. Now...is it me or is bein' gay at an early age becomin' more trendy?!? Look..If you're gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, into Hamsters and Ferrets, That's fine. If that's your walk in life, I support it. (AGAIN...Send all "Phuck You Matt" mail to mayhemm09@Gmail.com ) What i'm sayin' is that, I never really seen such an outbreak of wantin'to be gay, when I was in high school. I mean...sh!t we knew some folks were gonna go that way, but they waited after high school. Now... high schoolers look like they're in fashion shows sponsored by Kanye West and Rupaul wit a side of Rihanna.
*Reaches for damp towel.* And now if you'll excuse me, I have Bukakke session to get to. Hopefully, i'll miss her hair this time.
mayhemm09@gmail.com twitter.com/mayhemm09 facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
