Mr. "Fingerbang ya favorite actress" is back.

Catchy title huh? If only, it were true. (Well...some of you that went to high school wit me, know there are some execptions)

Soooo...how are ya? (Good, glad to hear it) I'm sure by tha time you read this, you reeally could give "Tommy two-Sh!ts" about what I've been into. But, there are those that do read my stuff, on tha regular.(What I mean by regular, I mean when they use the bathroom. I.E.  A sloppy number 2)

Wit that said, I'll give ya tha highlights, as well as lil musings, that made me chuckle..I.E. increase my meds. (NOTE...yes i'm using "I.E." a lot. Google it, N-word)

Let's bust this pinata shall we?

- Tha acting gigs are still goin' strong. What i've come to see though, is that I have a HIGH tolerance for bullsh!t. I don't need folks to tell me, how good they are at sh!t, just do it. "Industry"folks can be as close to some horror film characters, than anybody. *Cue "Drake's song Over*.  I have more respect for those who just do it, as opposed to those Muh Phuckaz, that say it, with no execution. *Sigh* Phuckin' posers. My motto is "I can show ya..better than I can tell ya". (Actually my Granny Po-Po gave me that nugget)

- Is it just me, or do some people lack tha basic common sense, that God gave a common house Cat?!?

- Not errrybody that says, they know God, does. Keep in mind, YOU have tha key to you OWN salvation. It's like when tha Gas company or Com-Ed visit your home. You can tell they're a true representive, by their CREDENTIALS. Examine your surroundings closer, and you'll find like minds. (I came up wit that while smellin' my finger. SIDENOTE: SHE uses Mango peach, for her "Hard to reach" places)

- I recently hit tha big 4-friggin'-0.A swirl of thoughts come wit dat sh!t. Happy to have made it this far, and hope to go further. Then..tha "Look back at ya life" phase creeps in. Sheeet...i've been a sexist, egotistcal, lyin', hypocritical, bigot, for a looong time now. At one point, in 2009, I thought about "Not bein' around" anymore. (I.E. "Kurt Cobain/Heath Ledger-ing  myself)
But, tha man wit tha flowing robe and gorgeous long hair *Not Prince..you (Insert your favorite ethnic slur here)* saw different, and kept me here. He also made this weird, uncanny, life possible, and for that I thank him.

- I have a job that I hang out wit borderline Bi-polar people, I become someone else, at every turn, and there's a sliiight chance, that I will get groped or do some molestin' and no one gets pissed or in trouble for it. judgin' by tha "Mango" scent on my finger....Acting is AWESOME. You could'nt do this sh!t workin' at Walmart/Sears/DMV/Stop and Shop/your borin' azz office.

- Did I ever tell ya , I'm not right in tha head?!?

-Fellas have ya ever shaved your "One Eyed Earl" and it looks like one of those "Groucho Marx" Halloween masks..*Blank Stare* Eh...me either.

- Ladies...If you're takin' pics of your Va-Jay-Jay, be careful. Make it look "Happy" before ya snap that pic. Or else, it'll look like a sad little old man. #JustMyThoughts


Now if you'll excuse me, I got lines to learn, gigs to get, and Pap Smears to perform.

FIND ME: www.twitter.com/mayhemm09  www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 


mayhemm09@gmail.com    Ohh.. http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/ 

http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/ 

My Preshow haze.

http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/

My preshow haze. Click on.

LUE CHEFER

www.emont.net/e3productions

Yess...I do Exist.

I've gone by many names, and have taken many shapes. And in many cases, i've affected tha souls of many, with just words alone.



Come see for yourself. Aug 27th and 28th.
 Go to   www.emont.net/e3productions     For Details. Come see what form i'll take in public, this time.

Weekend's Gone already?

*Reaches over to press "Pause" on DVD remote.* After watchin' ohhh so much of the imfamous Montana Fishburne AKA "Chippy D" footage, one has to stop, to come up for air. (She reminds me of that one "Slow" witted girl, that would do ANYTHING for Chips Ahoy cookies, in my neighborhood.)

*Reaches over for ball gag. Inserts ball gag in mouth and ties it on.* Ahhhh...Let's see...what we can phuck wit today.

I know I've been away (Like you phuckas noticed) but...let me bring ya up to speed wit my whereabouts.

Aug 7th 2010.

On this date, I had tha distinct pleasure of hostin'/emceeing (I never could figure out tha difference) an event called PhoenixFest. It's held in the town of Phoenix Il. (Yeahh...yeahh...there's a Phoenix Il. let me finish...damn) The said event, was a celebration of community, family and togetherness.

It's one of those festivals that brings out, tha young and tha old, in a fellowship, that breaks down tha generation gaps with food , music and good times. Tha city of Phoenix should be commended, for havin' such a peaceful and spectacular celebration of life.

*Bites down on ball gag* As for tha entertainment portion of tha festival...(Wait for it...Wait for it...) It was actually pretty decent. I have some notable mentions to chose from, if i may (It's my damn blog..so I shall...)

I give credit where credit is due, when it comes to Hip Hop, tha festival got it right this year (Yeahh..I host it every year. I'm still waiting to host tha Adult Video Awards...sigh) With groups like BXC , Mak Legend, and Eddie T (Yeahh... a tad unknown, but, be on tha look out for em') Tha entertainment level started wit promise.

But tha moment came when, one of tha most talented, dedicated and overlooked producers in tha game, took to tha stage. When Harvy Allbangers bought wit him his team, consisting of tha duo  Tha Illiterits and Code FI (Where in tha hell do these names surface from?!?...sheeeet) Tha stage erupted in a sonic boom, that could only be delivered by Mr. Harvy Alll-phuckin'-bangers (If you don't know him, google him dammit..)

But then we had a "Showtime at tha Apollo" moment happen, when this lil Niglet (Feel free to insert your own ethnic slur) called Showtime took to tha stage.

NOTE TO ALL HIP HOP ARTISTS: If you're performin' at a venue, wit kids in tha audience, try "Radio editin'" your music. First of all..Wit a name like Showtime...you would think this Ninja would stand about 6 foot or some sh!t. Nahhhh this Niglet was all of 4 foot. (He looked like Jiminy Cricket...if Disney gave him a record deal.)  Also... It's called Hip Hop...I don't know what lil Showtime was tryin'  to do, but damn... (And no i'm not worried about lil Showtime's retaliation. my thigh is bigger than him and his legal team...i.e. tha one Nig in his posse, that can count to Phuckin' five)

I guess you can tell, I don't like folks that offend my "Old School" constituents.  But tha afternoon got better wit, tha blast of funk and R and B, from bands such as Men of Mecca, The Family Reunion Band, Skyyline and tha curvy grooves of tha Slave Review band.

Other than that, all was well. Tha night ended as usual, hot and sticky (Due to tha heat nasty asses)

Special Love and thanks to Mayor Terry Wells and first lady Loretta Wells.  I hope they continue to let me come and embarass myself. Mad Love out to DJ Victorious, Tony Scofield, WildCat, Tha G Twinz,  Stacy Kidd and all tha folks that showed love.

Most of all Big thank you's to tha Legendary Harvy Allbangers. Thank ya for Tha Illiterits , Code FI, and that sonic goodness you produce.

Now..If you'll excuse me... I have to meet wit my new management about my new porn name. here's what we got sooo far:

Lance Goodthrust
Matt MightyPeen
Taye Diggemout

Yeah... I know. I'll come up wit some more.

FIND ME: www.twitter.com/mayhemm09    www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3   Write me  mayhemm09@gmail.com    

Annnd...other musings  http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/  
http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/ 

I stay on my (Insert your slang word for progress)

*Reaches for IPod and headphones. Puts headphones on, and programs The Roots's "Doin' it Again". Presses Play. Turns Volume wayyy tha Hades up*

Wow!!! you guys still hangin' around huh? Well... goood tha hell for you. Sorry for my interruption of service, I..errr...uhhhh... been doin' sh!t.

Ya know...like all you hip folk say...uhhh..Grindin', Hustlin', Paper chasin'.

Except... I don't say it... I DO IT.

I've been gettin' my Sidney Portier on, for tha last Three to Four months. (I figure if I can get paid for tha voices in my head, so tha phuck be it. I need to start chargin' them rent anyway)

As I journey through this "Industry" AGAIN, (Never learn my damn lesson do I?) I noticed that this time..is far more comical, than tha last. Tha last time I "Courted" said industry, our relationship was new and full of promise. As tha "Courting" progressed, I noticed a change.

What started out as fun and full of love, turned into a chore and all "She" wanted to do is Phuck me. Thus creating a hostile relationship. Sooooo...I exiled myself, until I knew myself more. As that happened, tha more unhinged I became. I became this mass of Bi-polar/Self-medicatin'/Expletive typin'/masturbatin' on tha regular (Insert ethnic slur here) you read before you.

But, it seems as though Tha Man UpStairs won't let me "David Carradine" myself yet, sooo... He wanted me to look at my past "Courtship", and see if we could patch it up.

Well..tha "Industry" and I are friends, but, that's all we can be. I mean... we'll phuck each other, and over every now and then, but that's it. I guess in order for me to reeeally get to know "Her" I had to go insane.

But don't get it twisted, I truly LOVE what I do. Thus, I'm back. Keep in mind, if you see me doin' my thang, I do it for tha LOVE.  Oh yeah...and I also do it so I don't put ice in a glass, and drink Draino. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an audition for a porno version of "Good Times". I think i'm more of a "J.J.".  but they want me to read for "Thelma". *Realizes that it's an ALL MALE version* ....Awww Dammit.

Follow this life. http://www.twitter.com/  www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3  mayhemm09@gmail.com  

http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/  http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/    

Don't think for a moment ,that I've left you.

Friends, Romans , country Muh Phuckas, Lend me yo eyes. (Yeah I know that's not tha way it goes, but..sue me.) I needed to drop this line to say, I have'nt forsaken my "Flagship." As I have explained countless times before, I don't have tha sense, god gave a common house cat. As my moods/emotions/bi-polar kicks in, I needed different atmospheres and outlets to express by outbursts. thus, creating tha following...   http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/  annnnd...    http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/ 

Yes... It's all me, but different shades/sh!ts of me. (Hey..If Prince could do this sh!t back in tha 90's, you muh phuckas can go on my trip too!)

I'll be on those sh!ts from time to time, but I will also continue to sprew creative Man Butter on this site as well. But don't be shy on this one. Taste it. Look through some old ramblings and see what tha hell drove me to sooo many depths... Check back, and i'll keep you posted as well.

Now If you'll excuse me, I have a Wal-Mart greeter to finger.  TOOOTLES.


mayhemm09@gmail.com      twitter.com/mayhemm09     facebook.com/matt.lloyd3