* Cue Music. Goodie Mob's "Cell Therapy" starts blaring* *In Mr. Rodgers voice* Hello Neighbor. (Ya ALREADY look scared sh*tless.) Today we're here to discuss your health.
*walkin' around mama's basement* When it comes to health, there are soooo...many facets to discuss. *NOTE: Notice tha "Speed Racer" sheets on tha bed..And tha "Rick James.."Street Songs" poster on tha wall*
Today, I would like to share my insight, on three aspects of health. Nutritional, Mental , and Spiritual. (Don't crap yo self.) Let's begin shall we? *Music changes to "Next Episode" by Dr. Dre*
NUTRITIONAL.
We all have very tedious schedules. Sometimes it's hard to get tha nutirents needed to, sustain a good diet. *Takes one of the Garlic Cheese Fries on plate* Once in a while we may, "Go a little overboard" with our diet. TRANSLATION: If you can't look down and see and or touch your private parts..yo azz went...Over-tha -hell-board. One way to combat this is by, Trying different diets and foods and tha like. I believe my solutions could work on everyone's behalf.
GET YO AZZ OFF THAT COUCH AND EXER-PHUCKIN-CISE! I believe that if you put as much emphasis on walkin' up some flights of stairs, as you do tryin' to get that last "Ho-Ho" out tha vending machine, ya could peel some of that weight off. As for other forms of exercise.... Men and woman USUALLY can get a healthy workout off of,...uh... Vitamins...D and P (Wait for it...Wait for it...) If you COMBINE these two "Vitamins"... You're GUARANTEED to lose those "Love" handles. NOTE: If you can't guess what i'm talkin' about..You should'nt be doin' it.
*Music changes to "Crazy" by Gnarles Barkley.
MENTAL.
We all have our "Little Hangups" (Just realized he's been doin' tha show in Fishnets and a Red CodPiece...and likes tha way it feels.) I believe once we come to grips wit our inhabitions, insecurities, and tha like...We all will be better adjusted in our society. *licks tha "Janet Jackson" poster on tha wall (Skinny "Velvet Rope" Janet. NOT "Eats Chicken and Waffles" Janet.)
Tha quicker you say to yo self: "I'm crazier than Catsh*t..And ya'll can kiss my azz" ...tha better. (NOTE: Make sure you say it to yourself, IN A PUBLIC PLACE for a reassuring effect.)
*Music Changes to "Theme from Halloween"*
SPIRITUAL.
*Slips on Purple TrenchCoat and Azz-less Chaps* This has always been a sensitive subject for many. *Dampens a cloth, and shines Red Codpiece* Some or mostly all believe that our Spirituality lies, with a higher power. (AS TOLD BY YA'LL EVERY DAMN DAY ON FACE-PHUCKIN-BOOK!) *Regains composure*
Some of you believe in that tha Spiritual side of you, lies within' MATERIAL Possessions. (Like those ugly azz rims...you INSIST women love. OR..Those Boobs ya bought. You said they got ya that job, but now it got cha a backache too!!!)
ANY-FREAKIN-HOO... I believe in tha higher power theory *Whips out Leopard Print "Fender Strat Guitar* ("Do I believe in god? do I believe in me? Some people wanna die.. so they can be free...CONTROVERSY") *Have to Excuse Me, I have A.A.D.D*
There is something out there, that's guiding us. We Just have to own up to it. NOW..for those of you that always claim.."Tha devil is this".. "Tha Devil is that".. "Tha Devil lives in my House"..."Tha Devil Stole Husband" (NOTE:For tha last one...Tha Devil did'nt take your Husband..Your INABLITY to communicate wit that phucka, as well as HIS Hoo-er ish ways "Took" Yo husband")
Ya givin' tha Devil too much credit. As Much as you you acknowledge him, ya'll should let him take you to AppleBee's and have him pay tha bill. Shhheeesh.If he Lives within ya.. Charge his azz rent. Until then..KNOW POSITIVE, THINK POSITIVE, BE POSITIVE.
* "Cell Therapy" starts to play* Well... I believe that's all tha time we have today. Hopefully Tha tips recommended will help you towards, a more productive life. (NOTE: For tha Extremely Re-damn-tarded.. I was talkin about sex..makin' love...BONE-ING..In tha tha nutritional section.) *Picks Guitar up..Goes in for tha "Jimi Hendrix" solo... ONE LOVE ERRRBODY!!!!* Fade To Black.*
mayhemchild009@yahoo.com or www.facebook.com/mat.lloyd3 orrrr Follow my azz (No FishSticks) www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
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