Track 26. Experience my Bullshit.

"You say bullshit attitude and experience gets ya through...Then come experience some of my bullshit" - Reggie Hammond. (48 Hours.)


Feels good to sit, and get some sh*t off my chest again. In case yo azz has'nt noticed..i've been M.I.A. for a while. No witty azz banter, no colorful azz insight, in short... I had S.T.F.U. for a minute. I figured like this: before you unleash your brand of bullsh*t to tha world, compile it into..at least articulate it in a clear, consise pile.

For tha last couple of days, I've had tha phuckin' worst migraine. I felt like Kanye West took tha microphone out of my hand, and hit me in tha face wit it. THEN Lil' Mama started dancin' (off rhythm) on my forehead. Along wit tha migraine came an ingredient of my brand of Bullsh*t called self-reflection.

I started lookin' inward at me as person, and came to this chilling conclusion: I'M CRAZIER THAN CATSH*T! (Not surprised huh?) *Sticks middle finger in tha air* Let me disect my Bullsh*t for you. I'm at my saddest, when I don't see you happy. I'm at my happiest, when you feel good. (Don't get all Chardonay drinkin' on me)

My biggest concern, is for you guys to love ya-selves first, then each other. I actually give a phuck about what SOME of ya think. I want... above all, for ya to take some intiative... and help somebody. Now that i've read what i've typed...I have to say..THIS IS MY BULLSH*T.

On tha other hand... here's some more elements of my Bullshit. I'm not gonna stand by, and let ya say stupid sh*t, and not call you on it. I'm not one to jus' go wit trends...trends are for tha weak. I'll be brutally phuckin honest til' my lungs collaspe! I don't get emotional, in verbal confrontations... I get to cutttin'. I'm arrogant , rude, and blunt. and THIS too..IS MY BULLSH*T.

All that's left, after this disection is tha shell given to me. Without all of tha above mentioned, I would'nt be..who YOU know me to be. Every once in a while, run an overhaul on ya-self. Find out what makes yo bullsh*t so special.

We all have a level of bullsh*t in us. Tha question is..what is it really made of.



Experience my Bullsh*t some more: mayhemchild007@yahoo.com orrrr. www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 orrr follow this bullsh*t life @ www.twitter.com/mayhemm09

ONE LOVE.

Acapella: Twisted./Love lamented.

If don't like tha subject of Love and intense longing/heartache, Ya need to skip to some other shit I wrote, on this blog. Have ya ever had love come and go in such a way, that it seems surreal that..you were in love?

I believe that's happened to me. After some intense thought, brought about by a migraine, I come to realize something...uh...disturbing.

That without some sort of love, whether it's friends, family, physical or mental..life is so incomplete. Sure...you'll find substitutes, like work, school or destructive shit to fill that void. But, there's no real substitute, for that "drug" we crave so bad.

I'm forced to live wit that reality. Keep in mind, I did'nt lose my love, due to cheatin' or dumb shit. Simply put...in my opinion..she outgrew me. As a person, you have to at one point, come to grips that sometimes your loved one makes strides that you either can't keep up wit, or you're too immature to catch up to.

This brings me to my heartache. As much as I have to let her go...does'nt mean she does'nt still have her nails, in my soul. Tha lyrics to this Chaka Khan song.."Twisted" I knew since, I was about 11 or 12. It's almost like god had me, to keep this song close, for this occasion.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you (And her.) "Twisted" by Chaka Khan.


Here, certified unsound... I feel like you There's someone I've found, so far she's true. Out of me there's a voice which keeps calling... I'm hiding alone, crazy I know, and I am tied to your strings and twisted. I'm just waiting to show the others who know. And I am tied to your strings and twisted.

So medication still the devil in me. So into make believe, your smile I see. Out of me there's a voice which keeps calling I'm hiding alone... crazy I know, and I am tied to your strings and twisted I'm just waiting to show the others who know. That I am tied to your strings and twisted.

Hold me.. in this tiny room sedated here I'll stay. Next to me, I beg of you, don't throw the key away. Out of me there's a voice which keeps calling I'm hiding alone... crazy I know, and I am Tied to your strings and twisted. I'm just waiting to show... the others who know That I am tied to your strings and twisted. I'm hiding alone, crazy I know, and I am tied to your strings and twisted.

I'm just waiting to show all the others who know. That I am tied to your strings and twisted. I'm going crazy, girl, look out (Tied to your strings and twisted) Look out, girl.

Wow..I don't know what's more painful....typin' this or livin' this.



mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3

Acapella: OverKill.

What's good people?!? With life tha way it is, ya wanna hear lyrics that speak to ya. With that said, with all tha violence, doom and gloom.. I came across some a song that reeeallly spoke to tha soul.

It's by tha band "Men at Work". (Don't judge..It's not what cha think.) Tha name of tha track is called OVERKILL. To me.. It speaks to tha uneasiness.. tha apprehension..tha hope. Tha lyrics are simple..but speaks on tha complex.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you...Men at Work's Overkill.



I can't get to sleep, I think about the implications.Of diving in too deep, And possibly the complications. Especially at night I worry over situations, I know will be alright, Perahaps its just my imagination.
Day after day it reappears...Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear. Ghosts appear and fade away.

Alone between the sheets, Only brings exasperation. It's time to walk the streets, Smell the desperation. At least there's pretty lights...And though there's little variation, It nullifies the night...From overkill. Day after day it reappears, Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear. Ghosts appear and fade away.

I can't get to sleep...I think about the implications.Of diving in too deep, And possibly the complications. Especially at night, I worry over situations. I know will be alright... It's just overkill. Day after day it reappears...Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear. Ghosts appear and fade away.



mayhemmchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 ONE LOVE.

FreeStyle: She's got game.

* Puts on Jay-Z's "Black" Album..turns volume up* Aiight... I'm jus' droppin this trip, to show I actually still have a life. To go out on a weekend, and have a good time is a rarity now. With all tha high azz prices, and low azz entertainment value, it has really become "Party and Bullshit".

This weekend was pretty together. I went to go hear Stacy Kidd and Mz.Nicky at Revelations (Rev's) Saturday nite. (Note: as much as I've gone there..and paid ..AND...drank *Cranberry Juice* ANNND...wrote bout it...tha VIP section should be called "Tha MATT wing")

Let's jus' start off by statin' that...tha place was friggin' packed!!! At 10:30 it was enough scattered azz, and big dudes to fill a "Myspace" rappers video. keep in mind, it was an OVER 30 crowd, but some of us are not lettin' go of tha UNDER 30 attitude. (It makes my material sooooo friggin' easy!!) Some of us REALLLY need to stay inside on tha weekend and watch reruns of "Law and Order:WhatevaThaPhuck"

Tha music was High Powered by tha Divine 1's Mz. Nicky. BOTTOM LINE: She was vicious on tha 1's and 2's!!!!! She played shit, that took my azz back to bein' 5!!! (Don't....say...sh....) Her attack on tha turntables..was, SIMPLY AWE-PHUCKIN-SOME. She had complete control of tha room.

AND THEN... It was time for Mr. "House 4 Life" Stacy Kidd. QUESTION: How come when Stacy walked in, He looked like that scene in tha movie "Face Off", when Nicolas Cage stepped off tha plane?!? (Doves and all) But once he stepped into tha DJ booth...It was all she wrote. From tha first track played, He put it down for his city.

NOW.. I also have to give ONE LOVE props, to tha CEO that brought tha elements of tha atmosphere together. In an industry that does'nt give enough props to women (Except by sexist bullshit.) I would like say THANK YOU, to LaTonya St. Clair of LaStreet Promotions, for puttin' some INTEGRITY in tha game. I heard That she's branching out in tha area. If you get a chance to go to one of her parties...PHUCKIN GO ALREADY!!!! She embodies tha spirit of tha game. (In a "Man's" game..she's tha essence of a Hustla.)

Well..that's tha damn weekend. I need find some other shit to do, on tha weekend. Find me anotha spot to people-watch in. Find me a show to go to. Find me an activity...(Not that FaceBook "Mafia" shit.)

Let me know. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com or www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 orrrr www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 P.S. If ya reeally want to know some of my party comments...check out my Facebook Statues and Twitter profile. (Shit's funny.)

Track 25. Slice my life open.

Ahhh...Here comes that part of tha therapy that, we make anotha breakthrough. Ya ever open up that part of your life, that makes you..YOU? And when ya do, it make you give thanks to those that contributed to your "inner makeup" ? I'm havin' one of those moments as we speak.

I always had some understandin' of who I am, and what I stand for. But recently I felt an overwhelming sense of soul-searchin' to dive deeper into tha nasty-azz abyss that makes me....ME.

With that said, I feel a need to thank those that have contributed to who I am, as well as, tha ability to do and achieve tha things I've done. (WARNING: May contain harsh reality.)

DEAR DAD:

Ya never were tha easiest person to talk to sooo.. I hope ya get a chance to read this. I would like to say THANK YOU for tha gift of life. Thank you for instilling in me, tha definition of being a man. Thank you for showin' me tha meaning of "Stand for something or fall for anything". Thank you for teaching me to never back down from no man. Thank you for showin' me intelligence wins over brute strength. NOW...

We never had that "Courtship of Eddie's father" relationship that others had. most of what you've shown me, came by observing, not by teaching. Some of your words were cruel, harsh, and mean-spirited. And then sometimes.. I got tha impression that you just did'nt give a damn. With some of tha things you've said,and done to me, I've "Swallowed a LOT of razor blades". Out of tha respect of you bein' my dad. When or even if, you read this, just know that I still respect and love you.. even though some things are still bitter pills.

DEAR MOMMA:

THANK YOU for tha gift of life. Thank you for instilling in me tha emotion of love. Thank you my sense of humor. Thank you for my "Wordplay". Thank you for my ability to make music. "MOMMY.. You're tha reason my words, my beats, and my soul make a marriage, why I act and write above average, and without you...I aint shit". Thank you for givin' me tha gift bein' blunt,harsh, and radiant, all in tha same breath. NOW....

While you are tha most loving woman in my life, You've said some things that have crushed my spirit. Your brutal honest nature, has always left me sometimes, in tatters. While you are tha prototype, for tha woman, I would want to marry, You're also tha woman I fear. Also in tha same breath you rip me to pieces, you give me tha strength to bounce back. You are tha classic "Enigma wrapped in a riddle" AND... I LOVE YOU AS THA DAY IS LONG.

Aiight... there ya have it. No fancy way of endin' this rant but to say...This is how I look, sliced open.

Hit me @ mayhemchild007@yahoo.com or... FaceBook me..Orrrrr. follow my sliced up life on Twitter (Mayhemm09).

Spread yo-self out.

Short..sweet and to tha point. I don't think this is gonna be a long, drawn out rant. (Stop tha damn clappin'.) All I really want to stress on this trip, is that...life's tooo short to not inspire, encourage and help others around us. You got to where you are, by emulatin' someone you've come across.

It's reaaallly important that we take what we learned, and PAY IT FORWARD. You don't realize, that your errrrday life inspires others. People sometimes choose their paths by tha company they keep. If that's tha case, then you need bring yo "A" game when it comes to inspiration.

Keep in mind, we cross each other's paths for a reason. Whether it's 10 seconds, months, or years...we have tha potential, to pass on tha radiant in us.

AIIIGHT! back to our regularly scheduled program.

FOLLOW ME On Twitter (mayhemm09) or FaceBook me. orrrr mayhemchild007@yahoo.com ONE LOVE.

This sh*t's a religion.

*Stands in mirror in "Chicago Cubs" fitted cap pulled down imatating Jay-Z's "Tha Black Album"album cover. Steps to mic...puts earphones on.. Waits for tha beat* Let me tesify in 5...4...3...2...

FRIDAY NITE.
MANNN....Can REV'S in Country Club Hills IL. get any more on damn fire?!? Tha scene that nite was like more like a church revival, (Like tha Blues Brothers)than a club. How many nitespots you know, that are on and poppin' at 10 tha hell o'clock? (Think bout' it...I'll wait.)

Tha spot was packed at 10!!...Ten?!? yeah, I said it..TEN!! And it only got reallly crowded towards 11:30/Midnite!! And tha music....and tha phuckin music!!...TWO WORDS....SIMPLY AMAZIN'!!!.. ONE LOVE to all tha DJ's of tha nite. DJ Blendz, E-Smoove, and Liddell "NUNU" Townsend. Tha music was tha stuff , addictions are made of ! Tha beats of tha nite, drove tha crowd into a damn frenzy. NOTE: THERE IS NOT A GENRE OF MUSIC AS ESTATIC AS HOUSE MUSIC!! (Stop me if I lie!)You can tell tha music, healed a lot of souls on this trip.

And tha people?!?!....Mannn listennn... Tha music was tha paint , and tha people were tha canvas. (My poetic azz.) It did tha heart good, to see people lose themselves in tha moments. Well..there were some honorable mentions (Herrre we gooo...) Like tha dude that was dancin' wit tha speaker. Look... I don't mind any guy, that's by hisself to do tha "Two Step". But.. when ya start makin advances to tha speaker.. to quote my Grandma Cleopatra "That's jus nasty baby" What happens if tha speaker, don't like you like that. Don't be surprised if it brings you up on charges.

And to my ladies...if ya decide to do a "Ladies nite" out..be careful when tha "Inner Nasty Azz" flag goes up...that people don't witness those "Experimental" moments. (Ya know what i'm talkin' bout') Oh yeahhh..ladies some of ya'll should have to go through an application process to wear sleeveless...uh any damn thang! When ya arms resemble a flyin' squirrel underneath...go wit short phuckin' sleeves at least. Oh fellas.. stop laffin' cause' uh...It's a party setting. Why did some of ya'll come in wearin' shorts and muscle shirts, like we're playin' a pick up game at tha YMCA?!? Spend tha damn money and get some jeans and a decent pair of shoes...not those broke-azz Protege's ya wearin' (P.S. them shits is ugly..Women are not feelin' them)

And, ya gotta love Tha Black Star power that was in tha building. ONE LOVE to tha grammy award winning producers of Hula and Maurice Joshua and Azza K. Fingers, who were tha "Tha Conglomerate" of tha nite. And don't think I did'nt notice, Chicago's Tightest Female DJ..SunDance (Talent, Brains and Beauty...My lawd..) Totally holdin' it down wit tha crowd. All in all..this shindig was alll FAB.. ONE LOVE TO MY TRU'S ...Arlene M..Marc A., My dude Quincy, Big Eric D.,Tha Divine Ms Keeba.Tha Sultry Ms. Shon... and tha Beeeeauuutiful staff at Rev's.

SATURDAY NITE.
Back to tha scene of tha crime. (Yeah.. I realize It seems.. this is tha only place I go..but hell... At least I support..how bout' you?!?) This time, this is tha Saturday Revelations set featuring Byron Burke. (Ten City) I gotta show extreme love to tha Divine Ms. LaToya ST. Clair, and her street team of Lastreet Promotions, for some Sophisticated Grown and Sexyness. Tha music AGAIN was eclectic and colorful Big ups to DJ Debonair for takin it back to tha days of "Karate" shoes and "John Wayne" shirts (Don't act like ya can't remember!) And tha street team themselves were Modeled After their Boss...Brains and Beauty woven effectivly.

Now... don't think that this crowd, was more put together...PHUCKSSSS NO!! To My big dudes. If you're goin' to wear a chain, Make sure tha chain and pendant are loong tha hell enough!! Don't come in lookin' like, you're wearin' a gold choker!!!Fellas.. If ya chain gets tangled up in ya chest hair, GO IN THA BATHROOM AND SHAVE!! It looks like ya chain, is tangled in taco meat! OH LADIES.... Is there a reason that even if you can't balance, ya thickness in heels, ya still wear em'? There's a fine line between walkin wit grace, and walkin like you workin tha low end of Cicero Ave!

And for all. It was tooo crowded for an attitude. Some contributed to tha crowdin', by not goin to tha gym once in a while.

But. this set is a "MUST GO!!" For Saturday Nites! Drop in and see how Ms. ST.Clair and tha crew do it. SPECIAL ONE LOVE TO Mr. Thel Davis of REV'S AT 18221 PULASKI IN COUNTRY CLUB HILLS IL!! It does'nt get anymore professional or classy than you.


AIIIGHT! If there's any other events on ANYBODY'S agenda that I should see..(Or Emcee..Hint..hint..Can't keep workin' at Stuckey's all my life) hit me up @ mayhemchild007@yahoo.com orrrrr...follow my shenanigans on Twitter (MAYHEMM09) orrrrrr FaceBook me (Shirts on please.)