Yeahh...dat's tha way I wanted to spell "Girlfriend". (Funny how Phuckas are quick to correct tha english language when written, but need spellcheck when textin')
I'm a lil high riiight now. My Love and I, have taken are relationship, to tha next level. ya see..I never mentioned her in any of my posts, interviews, etc, due to the fact that, my baby likes the quiet life. Oh sure, sometimes she comes to work wit me, but she loves, to play tha background.
When I'm wit her, I consume her, as much as she consumes me. I embrace her flavor, as much as she embraces my soul. I admit when I see her, a warm glow touches my essence. She looks at me, as if, to look through me. To see my travels, my thoughts, my soul, my being. Maybe Love is to mild a term for what she does to me, for me, with me.
When she's around, tha world stands still. There's no other beings present, when she's around. My life for every second she's around, has a new breath, new meanin' new focus. As if i'm learnin' to breathe again, every breath counts. Love is word with many definitions, my feelings for her right now, Radiates each and every one of them.
I raise my glass, my life, my being, to toast to her now. For without her name on my lips, my life, my soul, my essence, is mute. Here's to you my lovely....
NYQUIL.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
My Heroes tribute/ Shameless azz promo.
This is why I do, what I do.
Come see "Sugar Daddy". Go to http://www.tsquaredproductionschicago.com/ for tickets and details. Come see about me...
Come see "Sugar Daddy". Go to http://www.tsquaredproductionschicago.com/ for tickets and details. Come see about me...
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Mr. "Fingerbang ya favorite actress" is back.
Catchy title huh? If only, it were true. (Well...some of you that went to high school wit me, know there are some execptions)
Soooo...how are ya? (Good, glad to hear it) I'm sure by tha time you read this, you reeally could give "Tommy two-Sh!ts" about what I've been into. But, there are those that do read my stuff, on tha regular.(What I mean by regular, I mean when they use the bathroom. I.E. A sloppy number 2)
Wit that said, I'll give ya tha highlights, as well as lil musings, that made me chuckle..I.E. increase my meds. (NOTE...yes i'm using "I.E." a lot. Google it, N-word)
Let's bust this pinata shall we?
- Tha acting gigs are still goin' strong. What i've come to see though, is that I have a HIGH tolerance for bullsh!t. I don't need folks to tell me, how good they are at sh!t, just do it. "Industry"folks can be as close to some horror film characters, than anybody. *Cue "Drake's song Over*. I have more respect for those who just do it, as opposed to those Muh Phuckaz, that say it, with no execution. *Sigh* Phuckin' posers. My motto is "I can show ya..better than I can tell ya". (Actually my Granny Po-Po gave me that nugget)
- Is it just me, or do some people lack tha basic common sense, that God gave a common house Cat?!?
- Not errrybody that says, they know God, does. Keep in mind, YOU have tha key to you OWN salvation. It's like when tha Gas company or Com-Ed visit your home. You can tell they're a true representive, by their CREDENTIALS. Examine your surroundings closer, and you'll find like minds. (I came up wit that while smellin' my finger. SIDENOTE: SHE uses Mango peach, for her "Hard to reach" places)
- I recently hit tha big 4-friggin'-0.A swirl of thoughts come wit dat sh!t. Happy to have made it this far, and hope to go further. Then..tha "Look back at ya life" phase creeps in. Sheeet...i've been a sexist, egotistcal, lyin', hypocritical, bigot, for a looong time now. At one point, in 2009, I thought about "Not bein' around" anymore. (I.E. "Kurt Cobain/Heath Ledger-ing myself)
But, tha man wit tha flowing robe and gorgeous long hair *Not Prince..you (Insert your favorite ethnic slur here)* saw different, and kept me here. He also made this weird, uncanny, life possible, and for that I thank him.
- I have a job that I hang out wit borderline Bi-polar people, I become someone else, at every turn, and there's a sliiight chance, that I will get groped or do some molestin' and no one gets pissed or in trouble for it. judgin' by tha "Mango" scent on my finger....Acting is AWESOME. You could'nt do this sh!t workin' at Walmart/Sears/DMV/Stop and Shop/your borin' azz office.
- Did I ever tell ya , I'm not right in tha head?!?
-Fellas have ya ever shaved your "One Eyed Earl" and it looks like one of those "Groucho Marx" Halloween masks..*Blank Stare* Eh...me either.
- Ladies...If you're takin' pics of your Va-Jay-Jay, be careful. Make it look "Happy" before ya snap that pic. Or else, it'll look like a sad little old man. #JustMyThoughts
Now if you'll excuse me, I got lines to learn, gigs to get, and Pap Smears to perform.
FIND ME: www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
mayhemm09@gmail.com Ohh.. http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/
http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/
Soooo...how are ya? (Good, glad to hear it) I'm sure by tha time you read this, you reeally could give "Tommy two-Sh!ts" about what I've been into. But, there are those that do read my stuff, on tha regular.(What I mean by regular, I mean when they use the bathroom. I.E. A sloppy number 2)
Wit that said, I'll give ya tha highlights, as well as lil musings, that made me chuckle..I.E. increase my meds. (NOTE...yes i'm using "I.E." a lot. Google it, N-word)
Let's bust this pinata shall we?
- Tha acting gigs are still goin' strong. What i've come to see though, is that I have a HIGH tolerance for bullsh!t. I don't need folks to tell me, how good they are at sh!t, just do it. "Industry"folks can be as close to some horror film characters, than anybody. *Cue "Drake's song Over*. I have more respect for those who just do it, as opposed to those Muh Phuckaz, that say it, with no execution. *Sigh* Phuckin' posers. My motto is "I can show ya..better than I can tell ya". (Actually my Granny Po-Po gave me that nugget)
- Is it just me, or do some people lack tha basic common sense, that God gave a common house Cat?!?
- Not errrybody that says, they know God, does. Keep in mind, YOU have tha key to you OWN salvation. It's like when tha Gas company or Com-Ed visit your home. You can tell they're a true representive, by their CREDENTIALS. Examine your surroundings closer, and you'll find like minds. (I came up wit that while smellin' my finger. SIDENOTE: SHE uses Mango peach, for her "Hard to reach" places)
- I recently hit tha big 4-friggin'-0.A swirl of thoughts come wit dat sh!t. Happy to have made it this far, and hope to go further. Then..tha "Look back at ya life" phase creeps in. Sheeet...i've been a sexist, egotistcal, lyin', hypocritical, bigot, for a looong time now. At one point, in 2009, I thought about "Not bein' around" anymore. (I.E. "Kurt Cobain/Heath Ledger-ing myself)
But, tha man wit tha flowing robe and gorgeous long hair *Not Prince..you (Insert your favorite ethnic slur here)* saw different, and kept me here. He also made this weird, uncanny, life possible, and for that I thank him.
- I have a job that I hang out wit borderline Bi-polar people, I become someone else, at every turn, and there's a sliiight chance, that I will get groped or do some molestin' and no one gets pissed or in trouble for it. judgin' by tha "Mango" scent on my finger....Acting is AWESOME. You could'nt do this sh!t workin' at Walmart/Sears/DMV/Stop and Shop/your borin' azz office.
- Did I ever tell ya , I'm not right in tha head?!?
-Fellas have ya ever shaved your "One Eyed Earl" and it looks like one of those "Groucho Marx" Halloween masks..*Blank Stare* Eh...me either.
- Ladies...If you're takin' pics of your Va-Jay-Jay, be careful. Make it look "Happy" before ya snap that pic. Or else, it'll look like a sad little old man. #JustMyThoughts
Now if you'll excuse me, I got lines to learn, gigs to get, and Pap Smears to perform.
FIND ME: www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
mayhemm09@gmail.com Ohh.. http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/
http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/
Friday, August 27, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Yess...I do Exist.
I've gone by many names, and have taken many shapes. And in many cases, i've affected tha souls of many, with just words alone.
Come see for yourself. Aug 27th and 28th.
Go to www.emont.net/e3productions For Details. Come see what form i'll take in public, this time.
Come see for yourself. Aug 27th and 28th.
Go to www.emont.net/e3productions For Details. Come see what form i'll take in public, this time.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Weekend's Gone already?
*Reaches over to press "Pause" on DVD remote.* After watchin' ohhh so much of the imfamous Montana Fishburne AKA "Chippy D" footage, one has to stop, to come up for air. (She reminds me of that one "Slow" witted girl, that would do ANYTHING for Chips Ahoy cookies, in my neighborhood.)
*Reaches over for ball gag. Inserts ball gag in mouth and ties it on.* Ahhhh...Let's see...what we can phuck wit today.
I know I've been away (Like you phuckas noticed) but...let me bring ya up to speed wit my whereabouts.
Aug 7th 2010.
On this date, I had tha distinct pleasure of hostin'/emceeing (I never could figure out tha difference) an event called PhoenixFest. It's held in the town of Phoenix Il. (Yeahh...yeahh...there's a Phoenix Il. let me finish...damn) The said event, was a celebration of community, family and togetherness.
It's one of those festivals that brings out, tha young and tha old, in a fellowship, that breaks down tha generation gaps with food , music and good times. Tha city of Phoenix should be commended, for havin' such a peaceful and spectacular celebration of life.
*Bites down on ball gag* As for tha entertainment portion of tha festival...(Wait for it...Wait for it...) It was actually pretty decent. I have some notable mentions to chose from, if i may (It's my damn blog..so I shall...)
I give credit where credit is due, when it comes to Hip Hop, tha festival got it right this year (Yeahh..I host it every year. I'm still waiting to host tha Adult Video Awards...sigh) With groups like BXC , Mak Legend, and Eddie T (Yeahh... a tad unknown, but, be on tha look out for em') Tha entertainment level started wit promise.
But tha moment came when, one of tha most talented, dedicated and overlooked producers in tha game, took to tha stage. When Harvy Allbangers bought wit him his team, consisting of tha duo Tha Illiterits and Code FI (Where in tha hell do these names surface from?!?...sheeeet) Tha stage erupted in a sonic boom, that could only be delivered by Mr. Harvy Alll-phuckin'-bangers (If you don't know him, google him dammit..)
But then we had a "Showtime at tha Apollo" moment happen, when this lil Niglet (Feel free to insert your own ethnic slur) called Showtime took to tha stage.
NOTE TO ALL HIP HOP ARTISTS: If you're performin' at a venue, wit kids in tha audience, try "Radio editin'" your music. First of all..Wit a name like Showtime...you would think this Ninja would stand about 6 foot or some sh!t. Nahhhh this Niglet was all of 4 foot. (He looked like Jiminy Cricket...if Disney gave him a record deal.) Also... It's called Hip Hop...I don't know what lil Showtime was tryin' to do, but damn... (And no i'm not worried about lil Showtime's retaliation. my thigh is bigger than him and his legal team...i.e. tha one Nig in his posse, that can count to Phuckin' five)
I guess you can tell, I don't like folks that offend my "Old School" constituents. But tha afternoon got better wit, tha blast of funk and R and B, from bands such as Men of Mecca, The Family Reunion Band, Skyyline and tha curvy grooves of tha Slave Review band.
Other than that, all was well. Tha night ended as usual, hot and sticky (Due to tha heat nasty asses)
Special Love and thanks to Mayor Terry Wells and first lady Loretta Wells. I hope they continue to let me come and embarass myself. Mad Love out to DJ Victorious, Tony Scofield, WildCat, Tha G Twinz, Stacy Kidd and all tha folks that showed love.
Most of all Big thank you's to tha Legendary Harvy Allbangers. Thank ya for Tha Illiterits , Code FI, and that sonic goodness you produce.
Now..If you'll excuse me... I have to meet wit my new management about my new porn name. here's what we got sooo far:
Lance Goodthrust
Matt MightyPeen
Taye Diggemout
Yeah... I know. I'll come up wit some more.
FIND ME: www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 Write me mayhemm09@gmail.com
Annnd...other musings http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/
http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/
*Reaches over for ball gag. Inserts ball gag in mouth and ties it on.* Ahhhh...Let's see...what we can phuck wit today.
I know I've been away (Like you phuckas noticed) but...let me bring ya up to speed wit my whereabouts.
Aug 7th 2010.
On this date, I had tha distinct pleasure of hostin'/emceeing (I never could figure out tha difference) an event called PhoenixFest. It's held in the town of Phoenix Il. (Yeahh...yeahh...there's a Phoenix Il. let me finish...damn) The said event, was a celebration of community, family and togetherness.
It's one of those festivals that brings out, tha young and tha old, in a fellowship, that breaks down tha generation gaps with food , music and good times. Tha city of Phoenix should be commended, for havin' such a peaceful and spectacular celebration of life.
*Bites down on ball gag* As for tha entertainment portion of tha festival...(Wait for it...Wait for it...) It was actually pretty decent. I have some notable mentions to chose from, if i may (It's my damn blog..so I shall...)
I give credit where credit is due, when it comes to Hip Hop, tha festival got it right this year (Yeahh..I host it every year. I'm still waiting to host tha Adult Video Awards...sigh) With groups like BXC , Mak Legend, and Eddie T (Yeahh... a tad unknown, but, be on tha look out for em') Tha entertainment level started wit promise.
But tha moment came when, one of tha most talented, dedicated and overlooked producers in tha game, took to tha stage. When Harvy Allbangers bought wit him his team, consisting of tha duo Tha Illiterits and Code FI (Where in tha hell do these names surface from?!?...sheeeet) Tha stage erupted in a sonic boom, that could only be delivered by Mr. Harvy Alll-phuckin'-bangers (If you don't know him, google him dammit..)
But then we had a "Showtime at tha Apollo" moment happen, when this lil Niglet (Feel free to insert your own ethnic slur) called Showtime took to tha stage.
NOTE TO ALL HIP HOP ARTISTS: If you're performin' at a venue, wit kids in tha audience, try "Radio editin'" your music. First of all..Wit a name like Showtime...you would think this Ninja would stand about 6 foot or some sh!t. Nahhhh this Niglet was all of 4 foot. (He looked like Jiminy Cricket...if Disney gave him a record deal.) Also... It's called Hip Hop...I don't know what lil Showtime was tryin' to do, but damn... (And no i'm not worried about lil Showtime's retaliation. my thigh is bigger than him and his legal team...i.e. tha one Nig in his posse, that can count to Phuckin' five)
I guess you can tell, I don't like folks that offend my "Old School" constituents. But tha afternoon got better wit, tha blast of funk and R and B, from bands such as Men of Mecca, The Family Reunion Band, Skyyline and tha curvy grooves of tha Slave Review band.
Other than that, all was well. Tha night ended as usual, hot and sticky (Due to tha heat nasty asses)
Special Love and thanks to Mayor Terry Wells and first lady Loretta Wells. I hope they continue to let me come and embarass myself. Mad Love out to DJ Victorious, Tony Scofield, WildCat, Tha G Twinz, Stacy Kidd and all tha folks that showed love.
Most of all Big thank you's to tha Legendary Harvy Allbangers. Thank ya for Tha Illiterits , Code FI, and that sonic goodness you produce.
Now..If you'll excuse me... I have to meet wit my new management about my new porn name. here's what we got sooo far:
Lance Goodthrust
Matt MightyPeen
Taye Diggemout
Yeah... I know. I'll come up wit some more.
FIND ME: www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 Write me mayhemm09@gmail.com
Annnd...other musings http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/
http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
I stay on my (Insert your slang word for progress)
*Reaches for IPod and headphones. Puts headphones on, and programs The Roots's "Doin' it Again". Presses Play. Turns Volume wayyy tha Hades up*
Wow!!! you guys still hangin' around huh? Well... goood tha hell for you. Sorry for my interruption of service, I..errr...uhhhh... been doin' sh!t.
Ya know...like all you hip folk say...uhhh..Grindin', Hustlin', Paper chasin'.
Except... I don't say it... I DO IT.
I've been gettin' my Sidney Portier on, for tha last Three to Four months. (I figure if I can get paid for tha voices in my head, so tha phuck be it. I need to start chargin' them rent anyway)
As I journey through this "Industry" AGAIN, (Never learn my damn lesson do I?) I noticed that this time..is far more comical, than tha last. Tha last time I "Courted" said industry, our relationship was new and full of promise. As tha "Courting" progressed, I noticed a change.
What started out as fun and full of love, turned into a chore and all "She" wanted to do is Phuck me. Thus creating a hostile relationship. Sooooo...I exiled myself, until I knew myself more. As that happened, tha more unhinged I became. I became this mass of Bi-polar/Self-medicatin'/Expletive typin'/masturbatin' on tha regular (Insert ethnic slur here) you read before you.
But, it seems as though Tha Man UpStairs won't let me "David Carradine" myself yet, sooo... He wanted me to look at my past "Courtship", and see if we could patch it up.
Well..tha "Industry" and I are friends, but, that's all we can be. I mean... we'll phuck each other, and over every now and then, but that's it. I guess in order for me to reeeally get to know "Her" I had to go insane.
But don't get it twisted, I truly LOVE what I do. Thus, I'm back. Keep in mind, if you see me doin' my thang, I do it for tha LOVE. Oh yeah...and I also do it so I don't put ice in a glass, and drink Draino.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have an audition for a porno version of "Good Times". I think i'm more of a "J.J.". but they want me to read for "Thelma". *Realizes that it's an ALL MALE version* ....Awww Dammit.
Follow this life. http://www.twitter.com/ www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 mayhemm09@gmail.com
http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/ http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/
Wow!!! you guys still hangin' around huh? Well... goood tha hell for you. Sorry for my interruption of service, I..errr...uhhhh... been doin' sh!t.
Ya know...like all you hip folk say...uhhh..Grindin', Hustlin', Paper chasin'.
Except... I don't say it... I DO IT.
I've been gettin' my Sidney Portier on, for tha last Three to Four months. (I figure if I can get paid for tha voices in my head, so tha phuck be it. I need to start chargin' them rent anyway)
As I journey through this "Industry" AGAIN, (Never learn my damn lesson do I?) I noticed that this time..is far more comical, than tha last. Tha last time I "Courted" said industry, our relationship was new and full of promise. As tha "Courting" progressed, I noticed a change.
What started out as fun and full of love, turned into a chore and all "She" wanted to do is Phuck me. Thus creating a hostile relationship. Sooooo...I exiled myself, until I knew myself more. As that happened, tha more unhinged I became. I became this mass of Bi-polar/Self-medicatin'/Expletive typin'/masturbatin' on tha regular (Insert ethnic slur here) you read before you.
But, it seems as though Tha Man UpStairs won't let me "David Carradine" myself yet, sooo... He wanted me to look at my past "Courtship", and see if we could patch it up.
Well..tha "Industry" and I are friends, but, that's all we can be. I mean... we'll phuck each other, and over every now and then, but that's it. I guess in order for me to reeeally get to know "Her" I had to go insane.
But don't get it twisted, I truly LOVE what I do. Thus, I'm back. Keep in mind, if you see me doin' my thang, I do it for tha LOVE. Oh yeah...and I also do it so I don't put ice in a glass, and drink Draino.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have an audition for a porno version of "Good Times". I think i'm more of a "J.J.". but they want me to read for "Thelma". *Realizes that it's an ALL MALE version* ....Awww Dammit.
Follow this life. http://www.twitter.com/ www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 mayhemm09@gmail.com
http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/ http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Don't think for a moment ,that I've left you.
Friends, Romans , country Muh Phuckas, Lend me yo eyes. (Yeah I know that's not tha way it goes, but..sue me.) I needed to drop this line to say, I have'nt forsaken my "Flagship." As I have explained countless times before, I don't have tha sense, god gave a common house cat. As my moods/emotions/bi-polar kicks in, I needed different atmospheres and outlets to express by outbursts. thus, creating tha following... http://www.mayhemm09.wordpress.com/ annnnd... http://www.mayhemmstraitjacketmanifesto.typepad.com/
Yes... It's all me, but different shades/sh!ts of me. (Hey..If Prince could do this sh!t back in tha 90's, you muh phuckas can go on my trip too!)
I'll be on those sh!ts from time to time, but I will also continue to sprew creative Man Butter on this site as well. But don't be shy on this one. Taste it. Look through some old ramblings and see what tha hell drove me to sooo many depths... Check back, and i'll keep you posted as well.
Now If you'll excuse me, I have a Wal-Mart greeter to finger. TOOOTLES.
mayhemm09@gmail.com twitter.com/mayhemm09 facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
Yes... It's all me, but different shades/sh!ts of me. (Hey..If Prince could do this sh!t back in tha 90's, you muh phuckas can go on my trip too!)
I'll be on those sh!ts from time to time, but I will also continue to sprew creative Man Butter on this site as well. But don't be shy on this one. Taste it. Look through some old ramblings and see what tha hell drove me to sooo many depths... Check back, and i'll keep you posted as well.
Now If you'll excuse me, I have a Wal-Mart greeter to finger. TOOOTLES.
mayhemm09@gmail.com twitter.com/mayhemm09 facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
Thursday, June 3, 2010
How my mind works. Pt. 1
I had to post this because 1. This snippet is an subliminal extention of me. 2. My damn site. (More for reason number 1.) Enjoy.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
I stay Ignorant...with a catch.
There's a good reason why stay pharmaceutically subdued. (On that sh!t.) There's also a good reason why. I don't discuss social issues that much. It's not because of those times, I spent in detention/juvenile court/academic probation, where I did'nt take to book learnin' so well. And it's not because, social issues are lost on me. Simply put, I'd rather dwell in my ignorance.
I stand by that because, anything that's media/people driven, seems to take it upon themselves, to drive bein' socially conscious, into tha ground. Instead of us letting tha initial issue propel us into action/response, we dilute it, we magnify it, we drag sh!t out until it loses effect. All we're sometimes left with is, rehashing painful and in some cases, irrelevant sh!t.
There's a difference between raising awareness/Call to action, and raising awareness/Using this issue/moment, to further jaded azz agendas.
This blog sh!t is becomin' re-phuckin-dicluous. I love that people have a forum in which they can express their views, so on and so forth. BUT...every one in a while, before ya hit "Publish", Read them sentences over again. Yes, you're entitled to your opinion, and tha right to express it. But don't keep expressin' sh!t, without tellin' me why you're expressin' it.
Media now, has become tha equivalent of vomit. It keeps givin' me tha same "Food" time and time again. Sometimes I get it more than Three times a day, different rations, different added ingredients for "Flavor". Once in a while, those contents are either too much, or too "Rich" for our system..and what do we do then?!? (Think of drinkin' too much Brown liquor wit nachos and a greasy pork chop sammich....seee.)
Media is a monster of its own. You can't regulate nor kill it. But you can "Regulate" your diet to just facts at hand. Stop phuckin' wit tha frenzy.
That brings me, to... Me. I give you my nasty azz exploits, not to shock and awe, but to laugh to keep from cryin'. If my self medicatin', masturbatin' fellatio cravin, ghetto intelligencia can help you forge on wit your day, after tha death and destruction, then Eff it, i'm ya (Insert Ethinc Slur Here.)
Trust me, my exploits are like chinese food. A little from column A, a little from Column B. but I'm here to get my therapy on, as well as make ya giggle.
So, don't think for a minute I don't know tha world is goin' to hell in a Ferrari, wit a whole in tha gas tank. I CHOOSE to be ignorant. And sometimes, we gotta embrace tha bliss.
Now, If you would excuse me, I finally found a woman, who would dress up like Prince, and let me do her. #Don'tKnockItTilYouTryIt. Smooches (Insert Popular name for female canines here.)
mayhemm09@gmail.com twitter.com/mayhemm09 facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
I stand by that because, anything that's media/people driven, seems to take it upon themselves, to drive bein' socially conscious, into tha ground. Instead of us letting tha initial issue propel us into action/response, we dilute it, we magnify it, we drag sh!t out until it loses effect. All we're sometimes left with is, rehashing painful and in some cases, irrelevant sh!t.
There's a difference between raising awareness/Call to action, and raising awareness/Using this issue/moment, to further jaded azz agendas.
This blog sh!t is becomin' re-phuckin-dicluous. I love that people have a forum in which they can express their views, so on and so forth. BUT...every one in a while, before ya hit "Publish", Read them sentences over again. Yes, you're entitled to your opinion, and tha right to express it. But don't keep expressin' sh!t, without tellin' me why you're expressin' it.
Media now, has become tha equivalent of vomit. It keeps givin' me tha same "Food" time and time again. Sometimes I get it more than Three times a day, different rations, different added ingredients for "Flavor". Once in a while, those contents are either too much, or too "Rich" for our system..and what do we do then?!? (Think of drinkin' too much Brown liquor wit nachos and a greasy pork chop sammich....seee.)
Media is a monster of its own. You can't regulate nor kill it. But you can "Regulate" your diet to just facts at hand. Stop phuckin' wit tha frenzy.
That brings me, to... Me. I give you my nasty azz exploits, not to shock and awe, but to laugh to keep from cryin'. If my self medicatin', masturbatin' fellatio cravin, ghetto intelligencia can help you forge on wit your day, after tha death and destruction, then Eff it, i'm ya (Insert Ethinc Slur Here.)
Trust me, my exploits are like chinese food. A little from column A, a little from Column B. but I'm here to get my therapy on, as well as make ya giggle.
So, don't think for a minute I don't know tha world is goin' to hell in a Ferrari, wit a whole in tha gas tank. I CHOOSE to be ignorant. And sometimes, we gotta embrace tha bliss.
Now, If you would excuse me, I finally found a woman, who would dress up like Prince, and let me do her. #Don'tKnockItTilYouTryIt. Smooches (Insert Popular name for female canines here.)
mayhemm09@gmail.com twitter.com/mayhemm09 facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
Monday, May 24, 2010
Random bouts of insane.
Maybe it's the Haloperidol wearin'off, or tha 6 pack of Tecate I took wit tha Haloperidol, but I got some itchy sh!t on tha brain. These are'nt in any particular order. This is...ahh eff it. Enjoy.
#Random: Fellas..Have you ever cut one finger off your suede gloves, put it on your penis and pretend you bought your penis a suede pull over? (Works wit leather too. It's more chic.)
#Random: I once dated a woman, who was a Vegan. While havin' lunch one day she stated "Don't kiss me after you eat that hamburger. I can't stand that meat taste" Now, I don't have a problem wit that. BUT, I had just chimney swept her Va Jay Jay wit my tongue, and kissed her afterwards. BUT, she had a problem wit me havin' cheeseburger breath?!?
#Random: Who's gonna take care of all tha caucasian babies, if they come up wit new laws to keep brown folks out of tha country? See...Black folks did it for tha first couple of centuries, now its time for us, to pass tha torch to tha brown folks.
#Random: Am I tha only one that Masturbates, and gets a "Ice Cream Headache/ Brain freeze" sometimes?
#Random: Why do some of the american people confuse our president wit bein' a male version of "Glenda tha good Witch" from The Wiz?!? Look, he can only do so much. Sure..He's gonna make some miscues. And sure, he's gonna have some success. BUT.. stop thinkin' he's gonna appear to you phucks and say "Click ya heels 3 times, and this sh!t is over"
#Random: I think me and Rodney Allen Rippy were separated at birth. (Google him children.) If so, I want some of that "Jack In The Box" money sonnnn!!!
#Random: Ya ever notice that, if some people have to show you what they do, they must not be that good at it in tha first place? (Yeah...i'm on that Socrates sh!t today sonnn...)
#Random: Why do some women ride that fine line between prostitution and relationship nowdays? (Send all "Phuck You" mail to mayhemm09@gmail.com )
#Random: Why are people so brave when e-mailin'/textin' etc...but can't pick up the damn phone (When applicable) and communicate?!?
#Random: Fellas have you ever just asked for a hand job, only because you knew gettin' anything else would require too much work?
#Random: Ladies..Have you ever gave a guy some tail, just to shut his azz up?
#Random: I went to see a friend's kid in a high school musical. Now...is it me or is bein' gay at an early age becomin' more trendy?!? Look..If you're gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, into Hamsters and Ferrets, That's fine. If that's your walk in life, I support it. (AGAIN...Send all "Phuck You Matt" mail to mayhemm09@Gmail.com ) What i'm sayin' is that, I never really seen such an outbreak of wantin'to be gay, when I was in high school. I mean...sh!t we knew some folks were gonna go that way, but they waited after high school. Now... high schoolers look like they're in fashion shows sponsored by Kanye West and Rupaul wit a side of Rihanna.
*Reaches for damp towel.* And now if you'll excuse me, I have Bukakke session to get to. Hopefully, i'll miss her hair this time.
mayhemm09@gmail.com twitter.com/mayhemm09 facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
#Random: Fellas..Have you ever cut one finger off your suede gloves, put it on your penis and pretend you bought your penis a suede pull over? (Works wit leather too. It's more chic.)
#Random: I once dated a woman, who was a Vegan. While havin' lunch one day she stated "Don't kiss me after you eat that hamburger. I can't stand that meat taste" Now, I don't have a problem wit that. BUT, I had just chimney swept her Va Jay Jay wit my tongue, and kissed her afterwards. BUT, she had a problem wit me havin' cheeseburger breath?!?
#Random: Who's gonna take care of all tha caucasian babies, if they come up wit new laws to keep brown folks out of tha country? See...Black folks did it for tha first couple of centuries, now its time for us, to pass tha torch to tha brown folks.
#Random: Am I tha only one that Masturbates, and gets a "Ice Cream Headache/ Brain freeze" sometimes?
#Random: Why do some of the american people confuse our president wit bein' a male version of "Glenda tha good Witch" from The Wiz?!? Look, he can only do so much. Sure..He's gonna make some miscues. And sure, he's gonna have some success. BUT.. stop thinkin' he's gonna appear to you phucks and say "Click ya heels 3 times, and this sh!t is over"
#Random: I think me and Rodney Allen Rippy were separated at birth. (Google him children.) If so, I want some of that "Jack In The Box" money sonnnn!!!
#Random: Ya ever notice that, if some people have to show you what they do, they must not be that good at it in tha first place? (Yeah...i'm on that Socrates sh!t today sonnn...)
#Random: Why do some women ride that fine line between prostitution and relationship nowdays? (Send all "Phuck You" mail to mayhemm09@gmail.com )
#Random: Why are people so brave when e-mailin'/textin' etc...but can't pick up the damn phone (When applicable) and communicate?!?
#Random: Fellas have you ever just asked for a hand job, only because you knew gettin' anything else would require too much work?
#Random: Ladies..Have you ever gave a guy some tail, just to shut his azz up?
#Random: I went to see a friend's kid in a high school musical. Now...is it me or is bein' gay at an early age becomin' more trendy?!? Look..If you're gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, into Hamsters and Ferrets, That's fine. If that's your walk in life, I support it. (AGAIN...Send all "Phuck You Matt" mail to mayhemm09@Gmail.com ) What i'm sayin' is that, I never really seen such an outbreak of wantin'to be gay, when I was in high school. I mean...sh!t we knew some folks were gonna go that way, but they waited after high school. Now... high schoolers look like they're in fashion shows sponsored by Kanye West and Rupaul wit a side of Rihanna.
*Reaches for damp towel.* And now if you'll excuse me, I have Bukakke session to get to. Hopefully, i'll miss her hair this time.
mayhemm09@gmail.com twitter.com/mayhemm09 facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
Monday, May 17, 2010
Be Afraid. Be Effin' Afraid.
IT'S HERE!...IT HERE! TURN THIS ISH ON 10!!!!
AND THENNNNN......
AND I'M SPENT.
FACEBOOK.COM/MATT.LLOYD3 TWITTER.COM/MAYHEMM09
MAYHEMM09@GMAIL.COM
AND THENNNNN......
AND I'M SPENT.
FACEBOOK.COM/MATT.LLOYD3 TWITTER.COM/MAYHEMM09
MAYHEMM09@GMAIL.COM
Friday, May 14, 2010
Reeeallly? I can't effin' breathe...
You can't be Phuckin' serious?!?
Am I tha only one doubled over, urinating on himself ,laffin' at this at 3A.M.?!?
#ImmatureYesIAm.
ANNNND.......
I'm amazed and doubled over, at tha same time. I'm doubled over cause' this ish is hil-la-effin-rious. I'm amazed because, this sounds better than, most of tha accomplished Hip Hop artists, wit new projects out. *Effin Sigh*
Am I tha only one doubled over, urinating on himself ,laffin' at this at 3A.M.?!?
#ImmatureYesIAm.
ANNNND.......
I'm amazed and doubled over, at tha same time. I'm doubled over cause' this ish is hil-la-effin-rious. I'm amazed because, this sounds better than, most of tha accomplished Hip Hop artists, wit new projects out. *Effin Sigh*
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
My Soapbox...
There's not too many people that can paint a suitable depiction of Us. Every once in a while, you run across one......
Vintage...is sometimes best for our times....
But we at one point, must adapt, to our surroundings...
facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 twitter.com/mayhemm09
mayhemm09@gmail.com
Vintage...is sometimes best for our times....
But we at one point, must adapt, to our surroundings...
facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 twitter.com/mayhemm09
mayhemm09@gmail.com
Monday, May 10, 2010
I do Random.
*Cue song "Not Afraid" by Eminem. Sits up in bed, looks down at my "Cleveland Show" Underroos, wonders why he has'nt changed underwear in a few days.* *Reaches over for his laptop to sprew forth tha followin'....*
I really got to stop phuckin' around wit Abilify, and a Oxycodone chaser. Not only does it affect my judgement on sh!t, it affects my views. Wit that said, This ish right heeerre... is just random.
#Random: Ladies, I am a firm believer in that you're ALL beautiful. Tha only thing, to me, that makes a woman unattractive, is her attitude. (Read and cherish that statement AGAIN.) BUUUUT..... Ladies, ya gotta be honest about your attitude and wardrobe situation. Not all of you can pull off wearin' a damn baby tee. I mean...sh!t. Is it me, or tha women wit tha highest self esteem, have tha most jacked up azz attitude, and body symetry?!?
It's always tha woman that looks like Michael Clarke Duncan in a baby tee, wants to tell me how "Her milkshake brings all tha boys to tha yard". Really?!? how about you get a side order ofhumility wit that Milkshake. Or ease up off tha milkshakes. #JustSayin'
#Random: Men are soooo phuckin' quick to say they're "Grown". BUUUT...some of us can't get past, that "Catch a girl, kiss a girl" stage of life. Now, some of us have matured into somewhat decent human beings, wit a sense of self. (Me go poopy by myself.) Some of us should be declared "Ghetto Autistic" (For my Caucasian fanbase, "Bush 2001-2009". To my Hispanic fanbase, "El Geeeto Stupidio")
Really?!? Ya ever notice that tha loudest one in tha room, is always tha one not really sayin' anything, worth a sh!t? Fellas...try bein' quiet. Reflect before you direct. (I'm a profound azz today...*Smacks own azz*)
#Random: I should reeeally get out more. These lil' nuggets I came up wit, came from just people watchin', on tha way to tha clinic. (Don't worry future baby mothers, tha itchin' has died down considerably.) Just think of tha ish I can come up wit, just milling around tha multitudes again.
#Random: Tha truth about me is, my mom had an affair wit Antonio Fargus, and tha guy who installed our "On T.V." (Remember tham sh!ts?) and made me.
#Random: ALL Brown liquor (And some premium Vodkas) should be called "World look sooo goood" juice.
#Random: Ya ever notice people who do "Reality TV" shows, have so sense of what their reality is?
#Random:Ya ever notice when some people tell you they're a "Actor/Singer/Dancer/Entertainer" they neglect to tell you, its only as far as Facebook?!? (*Self-esteem swirls around tha toliet bowl.*)
#Random : Ya ever notice that sometimes, even tha most nonsense statements, at one point in life make sense?
#Random: Deep in your subconscious, tha last question is gonna bug tha Phuck out of you.
Now, if you would excuse me, i've got some restraining orders to violate.
FIND ME. facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 twitter.com/mayhemm09 mayhemm09@gmail.com
I really got to stop phuckin' around wit Abilify, and a Oxycodone chaser. Not only does it affect my judgement on sh!t, it affects my views. Wit that said, This ish right heeerre... is just random.
#Random: Ladies, I am a firm believer in that you're ALL beautiful. Tha only thing, to me, that makes a woman unattractive, is her attitude. (Read and cherish that statement AGAIN.) BUUUUT..... Ladies, ya gotta be honest about your attitude and wardrobe situation. Not all of you can pull off wearin' a damn baby tee. I mean...sh!t. Is it me, or tha women wit tha highest self esteem, have tha most jacked up azz attitude, and body symetry?!?
It's always tha woman that looks like Michael Clarke Duncan in a baby tee, wants to tell me how "Her milkshake brings all tha boys to tha yard". Really?!? how about you get a side order ofhumility wit that Milkshake. Or ease up off tha milkshakes. #JustSayin'
#Random: Men are soooo phuckin' quick to say they're "Grown". BUUUT...some of us can't get past, that "Catch a girl, kiss a girl" stage of life. Now, some of us have matured into somewhat decent human beings, wit a sense of self. (Me go poopy by myself.) Some of us should be declared "Ghetto Autistic" (For my Caucasian fanbase, "Bush 2001-2009". To my Hispanic fanbase, "El Geeeto Stupidio")
Really?!? Ya ever notice that tha loudest one in tha room, is always tha one not really sayin' anything, worth a sh!t? Fellas...try bein' quiet. Reflect before you direct. (I'm a profound azz today...*Smacks own azz*)
#Random: I should reeeally get out more. These lil' nuggets I came up wit, came from just people watchin', on tha way to tha clinic. (Don't worry future baby mothers, tha itchin' has died down considerably.) Just think of tha ish I can come up wit, just milling around tha multitudes again.
#Random: Tha truth about me is, my mom had an affair wit Antonio Fargus, and tha guy who installed our "On T.V." (Remember tham sh!ts?) and made me.
#Random: ALL Brown liquor (And some premium Vodkas) should be called "World look sooo goood" juice.
#Random: Ya ever notice people who do "Reality TV" shows, have so sense of what their reality is?
#Random:Ya ever notice when some people tell you they're a "Actor/Singer/Dancer/Entertainer" they neglect to tell you, its only as far as Facebook?!? (*Self-esteem swirls around tha toliet bowl.*)
#Random : Ya ever notice that sometimes, even tha most nonsense statements, at one point in life make sense?
#Random: Deep in your subconscious, tha last question is gonna bug tha Phuck out of you.
Now, if you would excuse me, i've got some restraining orders to violate.
FIND ME. facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 twitter.com/mayhemm09 mayhemm09@gmail.com
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Matt's PSA:Contains Extreme Talent and Hotness.
Matt: Yo Dre'... I gotta dive into some more of this Actin'/producing/globetrottin' sh!t. Take me to commercial.
Dre': Aiiight bet.
www.tamarajackson.yolasite.com
Please click on, and be impressed by tha Talent and Hotness, that is my co-star and homie.
Matt: Yo Dre'...I'll be back.
Dre: Hurry back dude. Ya know wit this blog sh!t, if ya go too long without a post, they tend to forget about ya.
Matt: Yeah. But ya gotta go live life, in order to write about it..right? In tha meantime, they can meet, some of tha people I meet.
Who are you?!? www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 Follow me www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 Write me. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com
Dre': Aiiight bet.
www.tamarajackson.yolasite.com
Please click on, and be impressed by tha Talent and Hotness, that is my co-star and homie.
Matt: Yo Dre'...I'll be back.
Dre: Hurry back dude. Ya know wit this blog sh!t, if ya go too long without a post, they tend to forget about ya.
Matt: Yeah. But ya gotta go live life, in order to write about it..right? In tha meantime, they can meet, some of tha people I meet.
Who are you?!? www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 Follow me www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 Write me. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
So..This is what happened...
(Takes red Ball Gag out of mouth.)Ahhh...After a week or so of self loathing and self medicating, (We all have issues) I finally came up wit tha Testicular Fortitude to write about my latest...uh..adventures/bullsh!t missions.
March 13th and 14th (Always tha weekend, my exploits start.) was entertaining as hiznell as I got to watch a play, as well as perform in one.(Yeah kids, I'm an actor. Imagine them sh!ts.)
Saturday:
Not only did I have to prep for my own production, but Saturday night was tha production of "Love Won't let go" starring my brother Thespian (For black folks who did'nt take speech class in High School, and white folks in that part of Alabama that's to tha left, I did'nt mean Lesbian. Look it up GED candidates.) Dcapreeyo.
Let me say that "Love won't let go" was a solid production. It was such a breath of fresh air, to see quality Black theatre. (I know i'm supposed to say African American, but I came from Chicago/ Harvey Il. So i'd be lyin' by claimin' Africa. So i'll just be Black...Movin' right along.) Tha message of Faith being tha cornerstone of relationships was central message throughout tha production. Tha cast was was truly in synch wit that message.
From tha flowing script/storyline, to tha musical numbers, I found it to be a truly enlightening and entertaining piece.
Now...let's go to my night of Theatrical Extacy (Makes ya wanna lick ya lips in that "Naughty School teacher" way huh?...But I Digress.)
Sunday:
Was my perfomance in tha play "Bone Salad" (Hold up before tha jokes start.) It's based on Genesis, chapter 2 verses 23-25. (I know. Matt is in a Inspirational play. Thank God, tha director does'nt do background checks.)
I can't critique my own stuff. All I can say is I "Learned my lines, and hit my mark" (True actor's sh!t there.)
Chances are this won't be tha last time, i'll be steppin' on tha stage. I've actually been doin' this for a while. So i'll be gettin' my "Sidney Portier" on for a minute. Go to www.chicagoplaywrightelizabeth.com to learn more about tha production. (Ya know I gotta stay neutral. I got to hold on to tha little confidence, I have left. That's why I'll let you guys, be tha judge.)
Well..that's my weekend. As you can probably tell, I'm still decompressin' from doin' tha actin' thing. Don't think i'm givin' up this writin'/Bloggin'/Therapy for my inner demons thang anytime soon. But like with anything creative, you can only do it, when tha spirit moves ya. I'll keep ya posted.
But don't you be a stranger either. Friend me: www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
Follow me: www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 mail me
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com
March 13th and 14th (Always tha weekend, my exploits start.) was entertaining as hiznell as I got to watch a play, as well as perform in one.(Yeah kids, I'm an actor. Imagine them sh!ts.)
Saturday:
Not only did I have to prep for my own production, but Saturday night was tha production of "Love Won't let go" starring my brother Thespian (For black folks who did'nt take speech class in High School, and white folks in that part of Alabama that's to tha left, I did'nt mean Lesbian. Look it up GED candidates.) Dcapreeyo.
Let me say that "Love won't let go" was a solid production. It was such a breath of fresh air, to see quality Black theatre. (I know i'm supposed to say African American, but I came from Chicago/ Harvey Il. So i'd be lyin' by claimin' Africa. So i'll just be Black...Movin' right along.) Tha message of Faith being tha cornerstone of relationships was central message throughout tha production. Tha cast was was truly in synch wit that message.
From tha flowing script/storyline, to tha musical numbers, I found it to be a truly enlightening and entertaining piece.
Now...let's go to my night of Theatrical Extacy (Makes ya wanna lick ya lips in that "Naughty School teacher" way huh?...But I Digress.)
Sunday:
Was my perfomance in tha play "Bone Salad" (Hold up before tha jokes start.) It's based on Genesis, chapter 2 verses 23-25. (I know. Matt is in a Inspirational play. Thank God, tha director does'nt do background checks.)
I can't critique my own stuff. All I can say is I "Learned my lines, and hit my mark" (True actor's sh!t there.)
Chances are this won't be tha last time, i'll be steppin' on tha stage. I've actually been doin' this for a while. So i'll be gettin' my "Sidney Portier" on for a minute. Go to www.chicagoplaywrightelizabeth.com to learn more about tha production. (Ya know I gotta stay neutral. I got to hold on to tha little confidence, I have left. That's why I'll let you guys, be tha judge.)
Well..that's my weekend. As you can probably tell, I'm still decompressin' from doin' tha actin' thing. Don't think i'm givin' up this writin'/Bloggin'/Therapy for my inner demons thang anytime soon. But like with anything creative, you can only do it, when tha spirit moves ya. I'll keep ya posted.
But don't you be a stranger either. Friend me: www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
Follow me: www.twitter.com/mayhemm09 mail me
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com
Thursday, March 18, 2010
I aint dead yet.
Hi ho neighbor! Just droppin' a line to say, I aint dead yet. I'm workin' on some ish that is pullin' me in some other stratosphere. (You woulda thought I was high by that statement.)
But in tha meantime, PLEASE, feel free to sniff around, some of tha older pieces of brain matter I got layin' around here. I will definitely keep ya posted on tha other sh!t brewin'.
PLEEEASE... keep in touch. Taste ya soon. (Mannish til I die)
FRIEND ME: www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 FOLLOW ME
www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Drop a Line. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com
But in tha meantime, PLEASE, feel free to sniff around, some of tha older pieces of brain matter I got layin' around here. I will definitely keep ya posted on tha other sh!t brewin'.
PLEEEASE... keep in touch. Taste ya soon. (Mannish til I die)
FRIEND ME: www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 FOLLOW ME
www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Drop a Line. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com
Monday, March 1, 2010
I gotta get out more...
* In Captain Jack Sparrow's voice * Ahoy B!tches!!!. In my attempt to enhance my social life...i.e. (Workin' on makin' my face a thousand lipstick flavors.) And also to let off some steam, I decided to hit tha streets. My Phuckery started on Friday and ended on Sunday. (I have tha Scratches on my azzcheek to prove it) Let's recap shall we?
DISCLAIMER: What you're about to read contains extreme language and nudity...Grow yo azz up and get over it.
FRIDAY: I hung out at my Favorite watering hole Revelations in Country Club Hills Il.(Natch) to hear Legendary DJ/Producer/Performer Farley JackMaster Funk.
Let me start my statements wit tha following. Tha music was EFFFFFIN extrordinary!!!
It was suuuch a rich and vibrant mix of house music, that made tha whole night seem like a religious experience. Yeah..i'm a tad biased, due to tha fact that,this is tha music I grew up on. But anyone who enjoys an original, eclectic,grooves, set to a organic atmosphere, would've have enjoyed this night.
Farley was a Pied piper/showman/ringmaster. Even tha DJ's and producers in attendance, were in awe of tha man, who opened tha doors for them in this "Crabs In a Barrel" BullSh!t, we know as tha music industry.
Now for some random Phuckery of tha night. IT WAS CROWDED AS HELL MANNN!!! First of all..I walked into a sea of LaceFronts. It looked like "The Island of Dr.Moreau" for Beauticians. One woman looked like her LaceFront was sewn in side-damn-ways!!! It looked like a LaceFront Baseball cap! This ish gets worse. Fellas...Does Sean John make Men's T-shirts in tha size "I can cover a Mini Cooper,wit this mug?!?.." NOTE: Lay off tha McRibs.
Every Bald,Big dude there looked like they tried out to be Suge Knight in a VH1 special. Ladies...If you wear Thigh-High boots wit heels, Don't lace them up sooo tight. It looks like you're cookin' Pot Roast below tha knee. ALL big dudes, please refrain from using Bluetooth sooo much. When ya have it in ya ear, it looks like it's lettin' me know, when your body's stopped cookin'. (Blinkin') Oh..did I mention it was effffin crowded?!?
I think I may have some DNA test to take. I rubbed against so many women, I think one,may have gotten pregnant. In tha same token, I think one woman gave me Prostate exam by tha kitchen #NotComplainingSheWasGentle. I think that was her ring, I found in my...Ya get tha picture of how crowded it was.
Mad Love to Maurice Joshua,Tha Divine Ms.Tracy J.,"Come Hither Eyes" Kim L. and "Tipsy,Light Skinted, look so good drinkin' brown liquor" woman (Tracy and Kim's friend.) Watch tha floor, i'm gonna name drop some more. ONE LOVE to Hula and Tha Clubhouse Group, SunDance, DJ Blendz and tha innovator of a Movement Farley Jackmaster Funk.
SATURDAY: It was me , Her and Her and a Bald headed Midget Proctologist, Nekkid at tha LaQuinta Inn. #That'sABlogForAnotherTime.
SUNDAY : I applied Bactine on my...and I took my antibiotics #Don'tJudgeMeI'veMadePeaceWithMyNastiness. Then I bounced out to University Park Il., to hear tha band, AG SOUL.
Be on tha look out for these cats. 1.They play REAL instruments. Which to me, is such a breath of fresh air, ya know. 2. They play them phuckas WELL!!! They had such rich vibe, that reminds you of earlier L.T.D. (Look it up) They did a cover of Stevie Wonder, that was off tha hook! After tha 2nd shot of Patron, They actually sounded like Mint Condition.
There's nothin' like great music, great musicians , Bougie Black folks, and top shelf liquor to end tha weekend on a high azz note.
I was A little long winded on this one. But you're probably readin' this in tha bathroom on WIFI, or while gettin' your Pap Smear, so it worked out. So,if Ya'll will excuse me, I gotta make a "Movement" to get this girl's ring back. *Goes in bathroom, Shuts door*
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
DISCLAIMER: What you're about to read contains extreme language and nudity...Grow yo azz up and get over it.
FRIDAY: I hung out at my Favorite watering hole Revelations in Country Club Hills Il.(Natch) to hear Legendary DJ/Producer/Performer Farley JackMaster Funk.
Let me start my statements wit tha following. Tha music was EFFFFFIN extrordinary!!!
It was suuuch a rich and vibrant mix of house music, that made tha whole night seem like a religious experience. Yeah..i'm a tad biased, due to tha fact that,this is tha music I grew up on. But anyone who enjoys an original, eclectic,grooves, set to a organic atmosphere, would've have enjoyed this night.
Farley was a Pied piper/showman/ringmaster. Even tha DJ's and producers in attendance, were in awe of tha man, who opened tha doors for them in this "Crabs In a Barrel" BullSh!t, we know as tha music industry.
Now for some random Phuckery of tha night. IT WAS CROWDED AS HELL MANNN!!! First of all..I walked into a sea of LaceFronts. It looked like "The Island of Dr.Moreau" for Beauticians. One woman looked like her LaceFront was sewn in side-damn-ways!!! It looked like a LaceFront Baseball cap! This ish gets worse. Fellas...Does Sean John make Men's T-shirts in tha size "I can cover a Mini Cooper,wit this mug?!?.." NOTE: Lay off tha McRibs.
Every Bald,Big dude there looked like they tried out to be Suge Knight in a VH1 special. Ladies...If you wear Thigh-High boots wit heels, Don't lace them up sooo tight. It looks like you're cookin' Pot Roast below tha knee. ALL big dudes, please refrain from using Bluetooth sooo much. When ya have it in ya ear, it looks like it's lettin' me know, when your body's stopped cookin'. (Blinkin') Oh..did I mention it was effffin crowded?!?
I think I may have some DNA test to take. I rubbed against so many women, I think one,may have gotten pregnant. In tha same token, I think one woman gave me Prostate exam by tha kitchen #NotComplainingSheWasGentle. I think that was her ring, I found in my...Ya get tha picture of how crowded it was.
Mad Love to Maurice Joshua,Tha Divine Ms.Tracy J.,"Come Hither Eyes" Kim L. and "Tipsy,Light Skinted, look so good drinkin' brown liquor" woman (Tracy and Kim's friend.) Watch tha floor, i'm gonna name drop some more. ONE LOVE to Hula and Tha Clubhouse Group, SunDance, DJ Blendz and tha innovator of a Movement Farley Jackmaster Funk.
SATURDAY: It was me , Her and Her and a Bald headed Midget Proctologist, Nekkid at tha LaQuinta Inn. #That'sABlogForAnotherTime.
SUNDAY : I applied Bactine on my...and I took my antibiotics #Don'tJudgeMeI'veMadePeaceWithMyNastiness. Then I bounced out to University Park Il., to hear tha band, AG SOUL.
Be on tha look out for these cats. 1.They play REAL instruments. Which to me, is such a breath of fresh air, ya know. 2. They play them phuckas WELL!!! They had such rich vibe, that reminds you of earlier L.T.D. (Look it up) They did a cover of Stevie Wonder, that was off tha hook! After tha 2nd shot of Patron, They actually sounded like Mint Condition.
There's nothin' like great music, great musicians , Bougie Black folks, and top shelf liquor to end tha weekend on a high azz note.
I was A little long winded on this one. But you're probably readin' this in tha bathroom on WIFI, or while gettin' your Pap Smear, so it worked out. So,if Ya'll will excuse me, I gotta make a "Movement" to get this girl's ring back. *Goes in bathroom, Shuts door*
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Monday, February 15, 2010
Black History Month. Really? celebrate what?
I don't believe that, we should celebrate Black History Month. Now...As you start to construct that nasty azz, acid-filled, hate e-mail to send me, read this in its entirety. (And if you do write me, I have two words...Spell check.)
In my opinion, ( Zero in on tha word, OPINION.) We don't appreciate our history unless its convenient. We take notice to our history, only when it may benefit us. I got a better chance at quality programming on B.E.T. (I know I'm Stretchin' it.) than anyone givin' a damn at this day and age, about where we have come from.
Back when we were Lil' Negrolets, Every February rolled around wit a new sense of pride. These were OUR PEOPLE they were talkin' about. You could'nt listen to tha radio, turn on tha T.V. or even look at tha bulletin board of your class room, without seein' something enlightening and uplifting bout our past. Hell.. Even Phuckin' SOUL TRAIN had a Black History Scramble board!
It seems that tha older we get, we don't take time out to reflect on our history. It's February and tha most negroist thing on T.V. has been MTVJams and tha Super Bowl?!? Back in tha day, we only had X amount of channels, but I still saw Roots, all tha Miniseries on Harriet Tubman, Dorothy Dandridge, Fredrick Douglass and tha like. Now...I can't even get a simple Martin Luther King Documentary. *EFFFIN SIGH*
FACT: With all current technology,(Facebook,Twitter,e-mail etc...) I've gotten "Scattered Azz" pics "If you love Jesus" e-mails, and "#ReTweetThisIf" Tweets, "Write a review for my "it sucks Rhino Penis" Mixtape".....but not one nugget of black history fact.
We wonder why tha paths of tha future, are soooo riddled wit violence, depression and uncertainty. We don't even have tha interest to see where we came from, to see how we ended up here, to respect those who came before us.
Soooo.... Until we appreciate our past, we as black folks don't deserve a phuckin' month. Just continue on our Coonabulous path. As my past has always told me, "If you don't know no better, you don't do no better" (Thank you Grandma.)
P. Damn S.... Cancel June as Black Music Month. We haven't made BLACK music since tha 90's
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
In my opinion, ( Zero in on tha word, OPINION.) We don't appreciate our history unless its convenient. We take notice to our history, only when it may benefit us. I got a better chance at quality programming on B.E.T. (I know I'm Stretchin' it.) than anyone givin' a damn at this day and age, about where we have come from.
Back when we were Lil' Negrolets, Every February rolled around wit a new sense of pride. These were OUR PEOPLE they were talkin' about. You could'nt listen to tha radio, turn on tha T.V. or even look at tha bulletin board of your class room, without seein' something enlightening and uplifting bout our past. Hell.. Even Phuckin' SOUL TRAIN had a Black History Scramble board!
It seems that tha older we get, we don't take time out to reflect on our history. It's February and tha most negroist thing on T.V. has been MTVJams and tha Super Bowl?!? Back in tha day, we only had X amount of channels, but I still saw Roots, all tha Miniseries on Harriet Tubman, Dorothy Dandridge, Fredrick Douglass and tha like. Now...I can't even get a simple Martin Luther King Documentary. *EFFFIN SIGH*
FACT: With all current technology,(Facebook,Twitter,e-mail etc...) I've gotten "Scattered Azz" pics "If you love Jesus" e-mails, and "#ReTweetThisIf" Tweets, "Write a review for my "it sucks Rhino Penis" Mixtape".....but not one nugget of black history fact.
We wonder why tha paths of tha future, are soooo riddled wit violence, depression and uncertainty. We don't even have tha interest to see where we came from, to see how we ended up here, to respect those who came before us.
Soooo.... Until we appreciate our past, we as black folks don't deserve a phuckin' month. Just continue on our Coonabulous path. As my past has always told me, "If you don't know no better, you don't do no better" (Thank you Grandma.)
P. Damn S.... Cancel June as Black Music Month. We haven't made BLACK music since tha 90's
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Friday, February 12, 2010
Feb 14th. For tha Half-Azzed lover in U.
So, this is tha day you celebrate, all that's right wit luuuuv huh?!? Wellll.. it's time for me to poop on that theory, reeeal quick like. Ya see...I'm in love, wit love. (*In Sexy lisp*.. That one was fo tha laaadies...) I don't need a day, in which tha color Red and chocolates have become tha symbols of how much you luuuuv me.
Ya see..I'm not tha "Chardonay sippin', Sade song playin', Watchin tha movie "Brown Sugar" for tha 200th time, and knowin' eeeach phuckin' line sayin', Cryin' when I read Mary J. Blige song lyrics"... hopeless romantic guy.
I'm actually tha "Corona sippin', Maxwell's "Urban Hang Suite"/"Black Summer's Night" on repeat havin', downloaded Sade's "Soldier of Love" not only for tha lyrics, but its one of tha hardest Phuckin' beats in tha 2000's playin', Any Spike Lee movie, that deals wit relationships watchin', Need a woman wit enough issues, that they make volumes desiring" Guy. You know..realistic. #BornCynic.
So when it comes down to this one day, to let someone in on tha fact, they're loved, that to me seems rather...Half-Azzed. If you haven't let them in on your world this damn long, what's one more day gonna do.
I figure like this, If love flows through you guys like that, then Feb 14th, is really just another day. You ALWAYS can take time out your so-called busy life, to appreciate those that have made your heart sing.
For you to hold this Valentines day gig in that much of a high regard, should reeeally make ya think about, what you have as a union.
February 14th, is fine to start a new love. What better day to connect wit a possible soulmate, than over Cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster. For more established loves, that day should'nt be any more different than Monday thru Friday.
You celebrate love every day. Wit a phone call professing that love. You celebrate it everyday wit communication, enhancing that love. You celebrate love everyday wit jus doin' tha lil things to strengthen it. If you're followin' that formula, then that one day in February, is just really another day in love.
Those of you fortunate to have found that love, nurture it. So you don't depend on one day, to breathe life into it. Don't depend on trinkets and grand gestures to heighten it. What you will have will be organic and will strengthen wit time.
Now... if you will excuse me, I have some love to nurture.
TRANSLATION: I have a woman I visit (BreakIntoHerHomeWhenShesNotThere) and bask in her atmosphere.(GoInHerPantyDrawerAndStartSniffingAndWearing) Giggity Giggity.
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/mayhemm09
www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Ya see..I'm not tha "Chardonay sippin', Sade song playin', Watchin tha movie "Brown Sugar" for tha 200th time, and knowin' eeeach phuckin' line sayin', Cryin' when I read Mary J. Blige song lyrics"... hopeless romantic guy.
I'm actually tha "Corona sippin', Maxwell's "Urban Hang Suite"/"Black Summer's Night" on repeat havin', downloaded Sade's "Soldier of Love" not only for tha lyrics, but its one of tha hardest Phuckin' beats in tha 2000's playin', Any Spike Lee movie, that deals wit relationships watchin', Need a woman wit enough issues, that they make volumes desiring" Guy. You know..realistic. #BornCynic.
So when it comes down to this one day, to let someone in on tha fact, they're loved, that to me seems rather...Half-Azzed. If you haven't let them in on your world this damn long, what's one more day gonna do.
I figure like this, If love flows through you guys like that, then Feb 14th, is really just another day. You ALWAYS can take time out your so-called busy life, to appreciate those that have made your heart sing.
For you to hold this Valentines day gig in that much of a high regard, should reeeally make ya think about, what you have as a union.
February 14th, is fine to start a new love. What better day to connect wit a possible soulmate, than over Cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster. For more established loves, that day should'nt be any more different than Monday thru Friday.
You celebrate love every day. Wit a phone call professing that love. You celebrate it everyday wit communication, enhancing that love. You celebrate love everyday wit jus doin' tha lil things to strengthen it. If you're followin' that formula, then that one day in February, is just really another day in love.
Those of you fortunate to have found that love, nurture it. So you don't depend on one day, to breathe life into it. Don't depend on trinkets and grand gestures to heighten it. What you will have will be organic and will strengthen wit time.
Now... if you will excuse me, I have some love to nurture.
TRANSLATION: I have a woman I visit (BreakIntoHerHomeWhenShesNotThere) and bask in her atmosphere.(GoInHerPantyDrawerAndStartSniffingAndWearing) Giggity Giggity.
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/mayhemm09
www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Monday, February 1, 2010
Track 32. How do I know you?
This is definitely some free hand sh!t. I don't do trendy or popular sh!t too well. Reason bein', is that I don't understand what makes some of this crappola resonate wit tha masses so well. So well in fact, that people follow and live by tha practices of these Self made celebrities.
Way back when (As if I gave Moses those tablets.) People had to have at least a tablespoon of talent, to be considered noteworthy. From sports figures, singers, rappers, writers,actors, hell, even porno stars had to have a modicum of talent or Chutzpah.
Now,If you have a decent internet connection on your cell or PC, you too can be Someone to know. But in lies tha rub , you may not know sh!t.
It's cool and all that you've got X number of friends on all these Internets, but what are you doin' wit them?!? What makes you somebody that I would pay a cover charge to see yo monkey azz?!?
Do ya sing? do ya model, tell jokes, rap, discuss sh!t intelligently (By tha way, I'd brave tha Hawk in Chi-Town, for some above-average convo.) If you do ANY of tha mentioned, then fine. Do you boo boo.
But if your only claim to fame is this Internets sh!t, Go back to school. Pick a trade, Sell steaks out of a van, something other than me just knowin' you for this internets. To my writers, I understand this is tha playground for your expression. But hell, even you have to be careful of what to associate yourself wit.Use tha internets to cultivate your message, in case you gotta back up your message in person.
To build a brand, you have to have something to market. Whether it's good or ill-concieved, you should be able to show me somethin' that makes me say, "Oh..ok. I get it. That's why people at least want to know him/her." I just don't get how we as people, have made celebrities of out of bein' Coonabulous,Beanerriffic and trashier shades of white.
Look, I don't mind anybody wantin'their shot at being known. But...HOW do you want to be known?!? Do you want to be known as a thinker, someone who stands out for their ideas and talent? OR..someone who's claim to fame is that their "Pants are on tha ground"?!?
(I reeeally believe that guy is "Chicken George", and he was frozen in time. He was thawed out two weeks before American Idol taped. Tha only reference he had to learn culture from was B.E.T.)
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Way back when (As if I gave Moses those tablets.) People had to have at least a tablespoon of talent, to be considered noteworthy. From sports figures, singers, rappers, writers,actors, hell, even porno stars had to have a modicum of talent or Chutzpah.
Now,If you have a decent internet connection on your cell or PC, you too can be Someone to know. But in lies tha rub , you may not know sh!t.
It's cool and all that you've got X number of friends on all these Internets, but what are you doin' wit them?!? What makes you somebody that I would pay a cover charge to see yo monkey azz?!?
Do ya sing? do ya model, tell jokes, rap, discuss sh!t intelligently (By tha way, I'd brave tha Hawk in Chi-Town, for some above-average convo.) If you do ANY of tha mentioned, then fine. Do you boo boo.
But if your only claim to fame is this Internets sh!t, Go back to school. Pick a trade, Sell steaks out of a van, something other than me just knowin' you for this internets. To my writers, I understand this is tha playground for your expression. But hell, even you have to be careful of what to associate yourself wit.Use tha internets to cultivate your message, in case you gotta back up your message in person.
To build a brand, you have to have something to market. Whether it's good or ill-concieved, you should be able to show me somethin' that makes me say, "Oh..ok. I get it. That's why people at least want to know him/her." I just don't get how we as people, have made celebrities of out of bein' Coonabulous,Beanerriffic and trashier shades of white.
Look, I don't mind anybody wantin'their shot at being known. But...HOW do you want to be known?!? Do you want to be known as a thinker, someone who stands out for their ideas and talent? OR..someone who's claim to fame is that their "Pants are on tha ground"?!?
(I reeeally believe that guy is "Chicken George", and he was frozen in time. He was thawed out two weeks before American Idol taped. Tha only reference he had to learn culture from was B.E.T.)
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Monday, January 25, 2010
This just in: This is why i'm not havin' kids.
To errybody that thought I only look for tha worst photos of women to post, well...tha..Fellas aint no better. Keep in mind..THIS IS A GUY. (No Homo or Fishsticks..Nullus) See ...This is why birth control should be given out in those "Special" classes.
ONE LOVE to MEDIATAKEOUT.COM for tha Coonabulous photo.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Ladies...Really?
DISCLAIMER: I say what i'm about to say, wit respect, love and a overwhelming sense of protecting you ladies. From others, but most of all, yourself.
Ladies, does'nt matter what color, size, Sexual orientation or mental illness, this is for you.
Maybe it's a slow news day at some publications, TV networks or Black radio , but tha subject i've been runnin' into is, Why can't women find any good men?
Now, most media have focused on tha "Why can't BLACK women, find any good BLACK men" angle. (Thumbtack that. We'll come back to that.) But as it turns out, Women of every race, creed and color are havin' tha same problem.
Which brings me to my opinions and subsequently my sex life, comin' to a damn abrupt ending. *Checks for Jergens lotion, and old sock* herrre, we go.
Ladies, I understand you want someone who, by your description, who's (In no particular order.) intelligent, witty, handsome, financially stable, a listener, no kids, little emotional baggage, cook, knows his way around tha bed, A fixer around tha house, marriage material and some other sh!t that only Phuckas in vampire movies can do.
Ladies, look at that damn list. You find me ONE true contender for ALL tha elements of that list, and i'll show you tha woman that masturbates thinkin' bout' Flavor Flav. Simply put.... a man like that DOES NOT EXIST.
It's understood ladies, that with all that you've individually been through, you will not settle for less. But look, where it's gotten you. Instead of bein' tha independent beings I know, you're startin' to become...us, wit better hair.
Women have always been tha more mature, intelligent, and more rational of tha sexes. Yeah sure, you have your moments, but through tha many and various things thrusted upon you, you still have time to carve out a living for yourself, re-populate tha planet, be mothers to children, maintain that radiant, stunning, addictive, ravishing yet puzzling mystery of a body. And you still keep your wits about your surroundings.
For all that I mentioned, I sincerely applaud you. You are so appreciated.
Now, let me tell you why you may have inadvertently did rock cocaine during one of your "just us girls" moments while watchin' Lifetime.
Ladies, wit all that we as men have shown you about us, (Trust me, we're not that hard to figure out. ) We've shown you that, we don't always see, what's riiight in front of us. We've shown you that, our attention spans are tha equivalent of a fifth grade class on a sugar rush. We as men can start wars, bully countries, gather and take resources to harvest for power. But we can't remember your birthday, call to tell you we're gonna be late, or just plainly put...communicate wit you.
You've witnessed all of these traits first hand ladies, wit very few men gettin' better in tha communication aspect of it. Not to mention, we can better ourselves only a little at a time. If we get one part of our lives stable, its gonna take a minute to even realize we need to fix anotha part. We're slow witted like that.
Here's where that cocaine kicked in. Through tha media, and these surveys and people, that have no real track record of havin' or helped relationships. (Laced wit cocaine for flavor) These outlets have you believing that you need a man wit all of these qualities, to round out yo life. When, what you reeeeeallly need is SOMEONE who YOU can communicate wit, that you can help grow, ALONG wit you.
Bottom line, No man will have all those traits listed above, and still have tha mental stamina to understand you. He's gotta go lackin' in some sh!t, in order for him to have enough brain function left to take in, all your womanly goodness. You gotta accept that. Don't you fall into tha trap, of havin' multiple phuckas in yo life, for multiple functions. Face it, that makes you us wit better hair.
Stay ahead of tha curve, be sensible. NOW for tha whole "Black Women Lookin' for a good Black man" argument.
Just stop. Bottom line, just stop. Like my grandmama said (keep in mind,this is 64 years of marriage talkin') "Love tha devil you're wit."
I'm not sayin' all black men are devils.(Phuck tha hate mail) What i'm sayin is, if you're wit someone or interested in someone, obviously they have somethin' that's holdin' your attention. Just use your natural essence as a woman, to decipher if this is tha one for you, Stop lettin' that list above dictate your happiness.
There's soooooo much more to say about this, but I have a headache and my legs are numb from sittin' on this porcelain throne o' mine.
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Ladies, does'nt matter what color, size, Sexual orientation or mental illness, this is for you.
Maybe it's a slow news day at some publications, TV networks or Black radio , but tha subject i've been runnin' into is, Why can't women find any good men?
Now, most media have focused on tha "Why can't BLACK women, find any good BLACK men" angle. (Thumbtack that. We'll come back to that.) But as it turns out, Women of every race, creed and color are havin' tha same problem.
Which brings me to my opinions and subsequently my sex life, comin' to a damn abrupt ending. *Checks for Jergens lotion, and old sock* herrre, we go.
Ladies, I understand you want someone who, by your description, who's (In no particular order.) intelligent, witty, handsome, financially stable, a listener, no kids, little emotional baggage, cook, knows his way around tha bed, A fixer around tha house, marriage material and some other sh!t that only Phuckas in vampire movies can do.
Ladies, look at that damn list. You find me ONE true contender for ALL tha elements of that list, and i'll show you tha woman that masturbates thinkin' bout' Flavor Flav. Simply put.... a man like that DOES NOT EXIST.
It's understood ladies, that with all that you've individually been through, you will not settle for less. But look, where it's gotten you. Instead of bein' tha independent beings I know, you're startin' to become...us, wit better hair.
Women have always been tha more mature, intelligent, and more rational of tha sexes. Yeah sure, you have your moments, but through tha many and various things thrusted upon you, you still have time to carve out a living for yourself, re-populate tha planet, be mothers to children, maintain that radiant, stunning, addictive, ravishing yet puzzling mystery of a body. And you still keep your wits about your surroundings.
For all that I mentioned, I sincerely applaud you. You are so appreciated.
Now, let me tell you why you may have inadvertently did rock cocaine during one of your "just us girls" moments while watchin' Lifetime.
Ladies, wit all that we as men have shown you about us, (Trust me, we're not that hard to figure out. ) We've shown you that, we don't always see, what's riiight in front of us. We've shown you that, our attention spans are tha equivalent of a fifth grade class on a sugar rush. We as men can start wars, bully countries, gather and take resources to harvest for power. But we can't remember your birthday, call to tell you we're gonna be late, or just plainly put...communicate wit you.
You've witnessed all of these traits first hand ladies, wit very few men gettin' better in tha communication aspect of it. Not to mention, we can better ourselves only a little at a time. If we get one part of our lives stable, its gonna take a minute to even realize we need to fix anotha part. We're slow witted like that.
Here's where that cocaine kicked in. Through tha media, and these surveys and people, that have no real track record of havin' or helped relationships. (Laced wit cocaine for flavor) These outlets have you believing that you need a man wit all of these qualities, to round out yo life. When, what you reeeeeallly need is SOMEONE who YOU can communicate wit, that you can help grow, ALONG wit you.
Bottom line, No man will have all those traits listed above, and still have tha mental stamina to understand you. He's gotta go lackin' in some sh!t, in order for him to have enough brain function left to take in, all your womanly goodness. You gotta accept that. Don't you fall into tha trap, of havin' multiple phuckas in yo life, for multiple functions. Face it, that makes you us wit better hair.
Stay ahead of tha curve, be sensible. NOW for tha whole "Black Women Lookin' for a good Black man" argument.
Just stop. Bottom line, just stop. Like my grandmama said (keep in mind,this is 64 years of marriage talkin') "Love tha devil you're wit."
I'm not sayin' all black men are devils.(Phuck tha hate mail) What i'm sayin is, if you're wit someone or interested in someone, obviously they have somethin' that's holdin' your attention. Just use your natural essence as a woman, to decipher if this is tha one for you, Stop lettin' that list above dictate your happiness.
There's soooooo much more to say about this, but I have a headache and my legs are numb from sittin' on this porcelain throne o' mine.
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
My Tourettes be ackin' up.
Sooo...I have her ankles, one in each hand, in tha air. And I get this queasy feelin'. It's gonna be one of two things. Either 1. Maybe that Strawberry scent down there , is a bit tooo intoxicating. or 2. I have a strange desire to reeeeallly just blurt some sh!t out.
Well...After I cleaned off "Mr Sandman", it occurred to me,*feels Dizzy* it's both. This is what happens (Sh!tPissPhuck) When I ( VulvaBallLicker) Don't take my (AzzFaceSipper) Meds. I (B!tchBetterHaveMyMoney) have Tourettes.
Wit that (CumStainVacumer) bein' said, I'll try my best to keep tha outbursts to tha followin'
- Why is it that we give credence to those negative people around us, (B!tchAssnessHaterSmallPenisesLooseVaginas) And we really never acknowledge those that genuinely love and care for us? (YoureThaFirstMyLastMyErryThing)
That's probably why your mind and life,are where they are now.(LowSelfEsteemNoSenseOfSelfDontknowYoSurroundings) It's not tha negative people around you doin' sh!t to you, it's you.(GetUpGetOutAndGetYourAzzSomeIntegrityCorky)
- Before you ride on that high horse (ArrogantAzzNoTalentAzzHack) and criticize others (PeopleThatLiveAndBreatheWhatTheyDo) about life, talent, or in general.(YouPickPeopleApartBecauseYouHaveNoGodGivenSenseOfPurpose) Take a good,long look in tha mirror (ElephantMan/Woman) before you render judgement on anybody else's life.
Look...no one gets out of bed one day, lookin' to fail. It takes a certain strength, courage and passion, to get out here,and put yourself out here, for tha world to see. whether its a Ditchdigger, Hoe or Governor. Actor, musician, or .. uh..hell this cyber litter box I write, before you condemn it, soak it in, then say sumthin'. (OrYourWhinyAbsentOfHavingASoulBearingAzzCanTryToMusterUpEnoughBrainMatterToTryAndBeCreativeYourDamnSelfMakesYouThinkDontItTryingToKeepThisUpOnARegularBasisButSomeOfUsDo)
Note: Never Listen to Twista and be off your meds, not a good look.
As my meds kicked in, and I just read what I typed, I realized that I took a little of column A from one post, and a lil' from column B in anotha post and made.. a remix.
I, in a way repeated myself. Maybe this is God's way of sayin', it needed to be repeated this way. He's funny like that. ORRRRR... Maybe God's sayin' I gotta stop takin' NyQil,Wellbutrin and Tegretol as a smoothie.
*Puts on Ipod, Clicks on "Sniper Elite" by J.Dilla feat. DOOM. Turns Volume wayyyy tha Phuck up*
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 Follow me.(Nullus) www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Well...After I cleaned off "Mr Sandman", it occurred to me,*feels Dizzy* it's both. This is what happens (Sh!tPissPhuck) When I ( VulvaBallLicker) Don't take my (AzzFaceSipper) Meds. I (B!tchBetterHaveMyMoney) have Tourettes.
Wit that (CumStainVacumer) bein' said, I'll try my best to keep tha outbursts to tha followin'
- Why is it that we give credence to those negative people around us, (B!tchAssnessHaterSmallPenisesLooseVaginas) And we really never acknowledge those that genuinely love and care for us? (YoureThaFirstMyLastMyErryThing)
That's probably why your mind and life,are where they are now.(LowSelfEsteemNoSenseOfSelfDontknowYoSurroundings) It's not tha negative people around you doin' sh!t to you, it's you.(GetUpGetOutAndGetYourAzzSomeIntegrityCorky)
- Before you ride on that high horse (ArrogantAzzNoTalentAzzHack) and criticize others (PeopleThatLiveAndBreatheWhatTheyDo) about life, talent, or in general.(YouPickPeopleApartBecauseYouHaveNoGodGivenSenseOfPurpose) Take a good,long look in tha mirror (ElephantMan/Woman) before you render judgement on anybody else's life.
Look...no one gets out of bed one day, lookin' to fail. It takes a certain strength, courage and passion, to get out here,and put yourself out here, for tha world to see. whether its a Ditchdigger, Hoe or Governor. Actor, musician, or .. uh..hell this cyber litter box I write, before you condemn it, soak it in, then say sumthin'. (OrYourWhinyAbsentOfHavingASoulBearingAzzCanTryToMusterUpEnoughBrainMatterToTryAndBeCreativeYourDamnSelfMakesYouThinkDontItTryingToKeepThisUpOnARegularBasisButSomeOfUsDo)
Note: Never Listen to Twista and be off your meds, not a good look.
As my meds kicked in, and I just read what I typed, I realized that I took a little of column A from one post, and a lil' from column B in anotha post and made.. a remix.
I, in a way repeated myself. Maybe this is God's way of sayin', it needed to be repeated this way. He's funny like that. ORRRRR... Maybe God's sayin' I gotta stop takin' NyQil,Wellbutrin and Tegretol as a smoothie.
*Puts on Ipod, Clicks on "Sniper Elite" by J.Dilla feat. DOOM. Turns Volume wayyyy tha Phuck up*
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 Follow me.(Nullus) www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Monday, January 11, 2010
Track 31. My Pulpit. My Sermon.
What better way to start off tha new year than to go to church. In this case, this is my sanctuary.I feel that I would'nt be me, if I did'nt tell some of ya'll, about cha selves.Church has always provided a honest, uplifting and euphoric atmosphere,to be yo-self. Well for this nugget of a post i'm providing that type of environment for all involved.Sit up straight,and take away from this what cha can.
- Is it necessary to throw shadow on someone else's happiness, even though it has nothin' to do wit you?!? For some, it's sooo easy to criticize and BackSeat drive errrybody's else's thought process.
If it does'nt impact you, why follow it so closely and talk about it so harshly? No one EVER gets up in tha morning, expecting that sometime that day, they will fail at a task. Some people need to feel validated. Look...I may talk about some folks, but I usually go after tha phuckas that have a tad more ego than they should. Men and women are never phyically ugly to me, it's their attitudes that make them that way.
Tha world is a beautiful, remarkable, battered and bruised place. Try to give a hand up, instead a foot down.(Seee..this positive sh!t is gettin' me to be a "Jerry's Kid")
- This is for those who, under all circumstances, are steadily striving to achieve, and be themselves.
I admire anyone who continues to walk their chosen path, and do it wit conviction. Whether it's school, a personal hardship or achieving success in a profession, ( Like this Bein' a writer sh!t.)Walk that path, wit you head held high. You will master that path. You will take each aspect of your life higher, forward and further.
(I can't stay on this "ABC Family Channel" path for too long.)
There ya have it. Ya realize, i'll be back to my usual unpredictable Shenanigans soon. Just wanted you to see that "Sinners have soul too..."
Ecclesiastes 9:11
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
- Is it necessary to throw shadow on someone else's happiness, even though it has nothin' to do wit you?!? For some, it's sooo easy to criticize and BackSeat drive errrybody's else's thought process.
If it does'nt impact you, why follow it so closely and talk about it so harshly? No one EVER gets up in tha morning, expecting that sometime that day, they will fail at a task. Some people need to feel validated. Look...I may talk about some folks, but I usually go after tha phuckas that have a tad more ego than they should. Men and women are never phyically ugly to me, it's their attitudes that make them that way.
Tha world is a beautiful, remarkable, battered and bruised place. Try to give a hand up, instead a foot down.(Seee..this positive sh!t is gettin' me to be a "Jerry's Kid")
- This is for those who, under all circumstances, are steadily striving to achieve, and be themselves.
I admire anyone who continues to walk their chosen path, and do it wit conviction. Whether it's school, a personal hardship or achieving success in a profession, ( Like this Bein' a writer sh!t.)Walk that path, wit you head held high. You will master that path. You will take each aspect of your life higher, forward and further.
(I can't stay on this "ABC Family Channel" path for too long.)
There ya have it. Ya realize, i'll be back to my usual unpredictable Shenanigans soon. Just wanted you to see that "Sinners have soul too..."
Ecclesiastes 9:11
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
Some of you needed that. (Don't ask how I know.)
mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3 follow me on tha twitter. www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Fellas, Lemme me hook ya up...
Sooo..I'm eatin' cake off this beautiful woman's azz ,right (#DontJudgeMe. 1. She's clean AND a christian/Sunday school teacher. 2. It was Angel Food Cake, so it evens everything out.) and my Blackburry alert goes off to remind me that , "Damn, i's gotta B writin' some snappy wordin soon" NOTE: I never really focus on my "Coon" audience, so that was my attempt.
I'm thinkin' that, A. My Cake has an extra creaminess to it. B. Guys over 36 who are, "Late Bloomers" when it comes to dating, are tha most awkward SonsABitches i've ever seen.
When I hear some of tha pick- up lines, it's damn close to listenin' to a speech therapy class. Tha stutterin', tha stammerin', and that's just them sayin their own phuckin' name. #RainManSoundingBastards
Well..I'm here to help. (Awww Sh!t.) I'm gonna give ya some sure fire conversation pieces, that are guaranteed to either be unique and work (FatPhuckinChance) or land ya wit tha same results ya got now.(NotAMuhPhuckinThing.) Sooo.. Let's play.
Now...Any guy (Accept tha guy that has to read my sh!t, wit a Magnifiying Glass. On top of using glasses.) can use that standard "Excuse me miss" or "Hey Guh (For my Mississippi readers.) i'll drink yo bath water." But that's not grabbin' tha attention, right at tha outset. Try these:
- "Mann....Can I eat syrup sammiches off yo thighs?!?"
- " I like Cake. I like your azz. Can I eat cake off your azz?" (If it works, Use red velvet.)
- "You go to that churrrch over dere, because you got a Holy Booty" (If you use this, you deserve to have yo face ripped off....Jackazz.)
- "My apartment smells of rich Mahogany." (Thanks to tha movie "AnchorMan")
- "Mannn..That dress will look niiice, Balled up next to my bed" (You would have to be RainMan to try that one, and still walk away wit yo nuts.)
- " You aint a cop are you?!?" (Look..Some of ya'll can't stay away, from that "Pay to play.")
- "Damn...Ya mama got a azz like that too?" (If this one works,Chances are you're tryin' to bang tha "Sllloooow" girl, that works at Burger King.)
- Hi, my name is (Insert Name here.) I would be honored if, I could enjoy your company.
I truly recommend tha last one, for more positive results. In a nutshell fellas, Ya can't keep steppin' to Queens,wit all that sorry azz, immature, "Wanna be Ray J" bullshit i've heard ya do. Try tha truth. Try bein' sincere. Try a breathmint.
HINT: Fellas...Women are soooooo Turned on by a man who has.....Wait for it....wait for it.....some Intelligence, Some confidence. Oh yeah..Respect for them,right from tha start.
Fellas, that's tha hook-up. Good luck to all. And for some of you who ACTUALLY may use those lines listed above, Maybe Masterbating is more for you.
ONE LOVE.
Come on Cleatus...Say it. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
Follow me. (No Homo.) www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
I'm thinkin' that, A. My Cake has an extra creaminess to it. B. Guys over 36 who are, "Late Bloomers" when it comes to dating, are tha most awkward SonsABitches i've ever seen.
When I hear some of tha pick- up lines, it's damn close to listenin' to a speech therapy class. Tha stutterin', tha stammerin', and that's just them sayin their own phuckin' name. #RainManSoundingBastards
Well..I'm here to help. (Awww Sh!t.) I'm gonna give ya some sure fire conversation pieces, that are guaranteed to either be unique and work (FatPhuckinChance) or land ya wit tha same results ya got now.(NotAMuhPhuckinThing.) Sooo.. Let's play.
Now...Any guy (Accept tha guy that has to read my sh!t, wit a Magnifiying Glass. On top of using glasses.) can use that standard "Excuse me miss" or "Hey Guh (For my Mississippi readers.) i'll drink yo bath water." But that's not grabbin' tha attention, right at tha outset. Try these:
- "Mann....Can I eat syrup sammiches off yo thighs?!?"
- " I like Cake. I like your azz. Can I eat cake off your azz?" (If it works, Use red velvet.)
- "You go to that churrrch over dere, because you got a Holy Booty" (If you use this, you deserve to have yo face ripped off....Jackazz.)
- "My apartment smells of rich Mahogany." (Thanks to tha movie "AnchorMan")
- "Mannn..That dress will look niiice, Balled up next to my bed" (You would have to be RainMan to try that one, and still walk away wit yo nuts.)
- " You aint a cop are you?!?" (Look..Some of ya'll can't stay away, from that "Pay to play.")
- "Damn...Ya mama got a azz like that too?" (If this one works,Chances are you're tryin' to bang tha "Sllloooow" girl, that works at Burger King.)
- Hi, my name is (Insert Name here.) I would be honored if, I could enjoy your company.
I truly recommend tha last one, for more positive results. In a nutshell fellas, Ya can't keep steppin' to Queens,wit all that sorry azz, immature, "Wanna be Ray J" bullshit i've heard ya do. Try tha truth. Try bein' sincere. Try a breathmint.
HINT: Fellas...Women are soooooo Turned on by a man who has.....Wait for it....wait for it.....some Intelligence, Some confidence. Oh yeah..Respect for them,right from tha start.
Fellas, that's tha hook-up. Good luck to all. And for some of you who ACTUALLY may use those lines listed above, Maybe Masterbating is more for you.
ONE LOVE.
Come on Cleatus...Say it. mayhemchild007@yahoo.com www.facebook.com/matt.lloyd3
Follow me. (No Homo.) www.twitter.com/mayhemm09
Monday, January 4, 2010
Matt's Public Service Announcement.
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