Friday, June 5, 2009

Track 11. ( It's Friday already?)

Yeahh!! YooooHoo! it's Friday babyyy!!*starts doin' robot dance* Now that i've found my Xanax smoothie, let me be realistic about my, oh so friggin' exciting Friday. For most Friday is tha spring board into tha sin and debauchery, that is tha weekend. For those of us that started sinnin' early in life....er..uh... not sooo much.

Given tha state of tha world today,tha economic climate, and tha very high douchebaggery,coonery,and beanery levels ( oh yeah mofos I covered everybody!) goin' out ain't what it used to be. It's not enough that you have to look a certain way for tha club life, but s**t, I gotta pay almost a mortgage, and 10% of a car note, to get a descent buzz. (happy endin' sold separately) I'm sorry but why would I pay to go out and possibly socialize with tha above mentioned levels, when usually some ish breaks out, and ruins a night of possibilities. ( S**t!! who's kiddin' who, possibilities was in your 20's, now you'll be lucky if Cinemax is showin' sumthin wit tha word NAKED in tha title)

Then there's dating,.....That's for another Friday. Which leads me to tha number one passtime for most people, tha internets!!! It's safe, it's convenient, hell.. you can play drinkin' games online! ( for you mofos... seek help ) It lacks tha true human interaction, but you can control tha levels of douchebaggery,coonery,and beanery. As for tha possibilities, you will friggin' hurt yourself!!(Name sumthin that is'nt nekked on tha net'. R.I.P. Cinemax)

Still, everybody needs some human interaction. Go out somewhere whether it's errands or entertainment, do sumthin'. Mingle among us and learn sumthin'. For some of us staring down 40, practice moderation wit' whatever ya do. You may look like you need to be on "To catch a predator" if you're still tryin' to deal wit' tha' young-uns.And young-uns, be f***in more careful. Too many of ya are takin' this party s**t too friggin' far ( moderation mofos. ..look it up)


Now if you'll excuse me... I need to do that search for anythin' wit tha' word nekked in it ( Hmm..what's this...2 gurls 1 cup...sounds...ewwww)

Want some company? ( no sex ad ) Follow me on Twitter. mayhemm09. Also Facebook me. Stay tuned for more of my ramblin'







Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Track 10. ( U BE U DAMMIT )

I believe I just had a friggin' breakthrough! ( however an odd one) Throughout my my self imposed therapy sessions of writin'these thoughts down, I actually had concerns about how I would be percieved.

Everybody at one point or another, is concerned about what people will think. Whether it's family or friends, as much as you say ya really don't care. Ya just don't to appear too needy,creepy or... what's tha technical term... oh yeah... crazy as cat shit!!! But I've learned sumthin' during my little ramblings, tha truth is that I really don't care. ( Wow! there I said it!)

Here's the reasoning behind it. It takes along time for anybody, to be comfortable in their own skin. Even at knockin' on tha door of 40 (yeah I know...right) you gotta check yourself everyday. Being comfortable with yourself, will allow you to say and do those things that, at one point will keep you in great spirits mentally. Sometimes, you just gotta say and do what's exactly on your mind. No matter how others may percieve it.

We all at one point want to be accepted, by family, by friends, hell... even by people we don't even know. But, until you satisfy yourself mentally no one is gonna accept what you put out there. My breakthrough is, to hell with a person's perceptions of me! No one has walked, or has tried to walk in my shoes. I really can say I don't care, do to the fact that, i'm puttin' these rants on the friggin' internets!!!

Yeahhh...startin' to click now huh? I don't care if this is'nt the "blogging" style that should or should not be used. I don't give a s**t about bein' "discovered" ( would be nice though, but I only have a face for radio) As for my family, this is tha first time i've ever let them in on a project like this. Once this catches on, ( if ever) It will be a matter of time before there will be some things said, positive and negative.

It does'nt matter what's said. I (That's who counts) feel better when these thoughts come off my heart. And if these rants help someone goin' through sum s**t, that's tha greatest complement! So, do what cha first mind, tells ya to do. people have to accept you, for you. It will contribute to your piece of mind.

I figure like this... I could either be on tha internets puttin' all of my business out there, to learn from and possibly help, OR... I could be on tha internets as a police blotter or a headline that starts with..."mentally unstable man" (fill in tha tragedy).

Need someone to vent to? need someone to follow to make you feel better about your life? well... ya got me on Facebook, e-mail, and this ish called Twitter. mayhemm09. Find me we'll work life out tha old fashioned way, by just doin' it.




Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Track 9. ( Don't get all weepy on me...)

As I am in the produce aisle of tha "Stop and Shop", I had to stop to drop you this line. It could be the smell of the beets goin bad, or that "old man storm's a brewin'" thing I got but, I just wanted you to know that...... YOU FRIGGIN MATTER!!!!!!!

I know, I know i'm shoutin' again. (Mental note: increase Zoloft to "rainman" dosage) I just have this feelin' that some of you, don't know how much you matter to this world. We all have that recurring thought, about what tha world would be like if we jus' disappear. Well let me tell ya.... It would'nt be as interestin' or radiant.

Look, I know tha s**t sounds sappy, but it's tha truth. Ya gotta realize that, as much as you need to be around, other people depend on you as well. They may not articulate it, but they do. Bottom line, tha world looks, feels and errrr...uhhh.... smells better with you in it.

( Try Beano for that gas thing, and we'll talk)

Aight, i've done my Tony Robbins impression for tha day. Stay safe. Also give me sum feedback. Ya see tha e-mail address. What do ya want me to say? thoughts? Don't forget...this is my therapy. To hear from others, helps and heals all.


Ohhhh... yeah.... catch me on tha Twitter thingy. ( jus sign up it's friggin' free.) mayhemm09.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Track 8. ( I feel an attack comin' on..)

Why is it that when you slow down and catch up with yourself, the thoughts that you try to avoid, creep right tha hell up? It seems that every fear, every insecurity and every piece of bad intent, seems to take up residence in your head. Now, tha more you continue to think along those lines, the more it consumes you.


These thoughts have now moved from tha mind to becomin' negative actions. From drinkin', to medication (legal and illegal) we try to silence those thoughts.The truth is... there is only one way to confront those thoughts, OPEN YOUR FRIGGIN MIND TO A SOLUTION!


Sorry to yell but, we try too hard to avoid those things that need to be dealt with head f***in on. The more you accept these thoughts for what they are, the more you will find a healthier solution than drinkin' and drugs. Take it from me, a guy that thought Mescaline could make s**t go away. But after tha buzz left (and I woke up in my car drivin 90.... naked ) my s**t was still s**t.


Trust me i'm up to my waist in caca, but , I'm learnin' through even writin' this that there's other ways to cope. Bottom line you gotta open a dialogue with yourself. You can try the drugs (legal preferred) but ya system may not take too well. Drinkin'....need I say more. You're gonna do, What you wanna do regardless.


All I ask is be true to yourself. NOTHIN IS THAT BAD!!!!! had to holla that one so tha people who only understand s**t when it's bein' screamed at them understand. Oh f**k it, it's for you too. With love.





*Pauses* sips Tahitian Treat fruit punch and says.....Follow me on Twitter mayhemm09.... more interestin' ish.




Track 7. (Hear the pain in my voice right...)

For those of us that have the daunting task of caring for our parents,at the stage of their lives where they may be the most vunerable, the task can be.... it can be... ok it can be a bitch.

I can't speak for your situation, but with many people i've talked to, the experience can range from humbling to tedious to damn near lookin' for a shovel and lime (no I have not....today) Speakin' from experience, it wears you down sometimes to keep someone else's affairs in order. You barely can keep your s**t straight, let alone the health and welfare of those, that still have to a point, a say in their own lives.

The thing that chaffes my azz, is the criticism that's heaved upon you by some parents. look, I hear you on the arguement that "it's just the aging talkin". But s**t, with aging must come with a great friggin' memory, because they seem to remember every screw up and f**k up, you have EVER been a part of. Sheeesh.

Then, then there's the mood swings. And i'm not talkin' bout any type of mental illiness. I'm talkin' bout the "i'm so proud of you to why can't do better" phase. To some, it seems like i'm bashing. But, i'm willing to bet a week's pay at tha "Stop and Shop" that i'm not alone.

Look,I love my parents with all of my everything. It's just that no one is ever prepared for takin' care of a another grown person, let alone two. but this is tha circle of life. If you are fortunate to live as long as your parents, someone whether it's your children or someone else, will have to do the same for you.

So I guess the moral of my therapy is, use the experience as an exercise in patience. Also after all that's said and done, your parents, as much as they grind the nerves, the wisdom that they share is priceless.

Now, get back in there and listen of how you should've invested in that, or should've married (your ex-loser's name here) Just know when tha time comes, you'll wish for these times back.

P.S!!!!! cheer up buttercup follow me on Twitter. mayhemm09. I need tha company.